- Date posted
- 1y ago
Reworking religion
Because of years of scrupulous OCD the very idea of religious services and activities brings up apprehension and stress. How can I rewire my brain to learn to enjoy these things?
Because of years of scrupulous OCD the very idea of religious services and activities brings up apprehension and stress. How can I rewire my brain to learn to enjoy these things?
Medication, Therapy, and praying with real intent that God will help you to get back to him in a way that you can understand that its him. It's hard but worth it. Remember God is love and he always will be.
Give yourself time. Attending services caused a lot of anxiety. Still does to a degree. But I go anyway. I do my ERP at church at times. I sometimes sit in a room where I can't be seen but I can hear. But it doesn't happen overnight. And you can't go by your feelings a lot of times because OCD will lie.
For anyone struggling with religious OCD/ scurpulosity?
OCD often makes me feel distant from God. I often feel unforgiven, unloved, and even hated. In my head I often view God as someone who hates me and who is always constantly disappointed in me. My relationship with him feels like an Obligation now more than a relationship. I’m always on the cusp of becoming an atheist, but I always draw myself back because I don’t want to give up my faith so fast, even if it’s been 4-5 years of living like this. I’m often at war with myself daily. There is never a day that I feel as though if I do one small thing whether it be buy something or eat something that I’m going to end up in eternal damnation. And even though I know it’s only OCD and it’s cognitive distortions, I still feel uneasy.
OCD has decided to latch onto my religion (Christianity) and I find myself doubting my belief in Jesus Christ. Yet when I research, I even find myself doubting the atheistic and agnostic approach as well. I’ve been a Christian since I was 13, growing up in a non-Christian in truth but nominally Christian household. This is rough. Any advice?
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