existential (tw)

i can’t understand how other people don’t constantly think about death. like, it’s final. it’s unavoidable. it’s just the end. no more me. i’m going to die someday and it’s so scary it makes me physically sick. i can’t eat or sleep or leave my house or go a single minute without thinking about it. i can’t even describe the anxiety it causes. my other obsessions don’t even affect me anymore. death is real. that’s the one thing in life that is guaranteed. it’s going to happen. why doesn’t this freak everyone else out?? i’m trying to do exposures for myself. just writing these things down. it’s so difficult. if any one has any easier exposures, please let me know. i’m started Paxil tomorrow and i’m hoping it helps with the anxiety so it’ll be easier to do the exposures but i can’t function at all anymore. i always told myself id never make a post on here but i really need help

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 42w ago

i really wish i had good advice on this, i do hope your anxiety eases and i want to let you know that youre not alone ❤️ im in a similar situation and it has gotten better over time, i hope the same for you

Username: deadmeatdeadmeat

Date posted: 42w ago

@Anonymous thank you :,) sometimes it feels okay, still uncomfortable but easier. but then like earlier it was so unbearable. i’m hoping the meds help. thank you for commenting!

Username: FoolishMortal1000FoolishMorta...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 42w ago

This was my biggest theme at one point as well. It got so bad I couldn't work, I couldn't leave my house, I couldn't even get out of bed to shower or brush my teeth or use the toilet for days. I always described it as a suffocating feeling that the idea of death felt like there was always a plastic bag over my head and I could barely breathe. Every second. Every day. Sometimes it helps to look up hospice nurses' stories on what they've experienced with their patients passing and people who have been pronounced dead tend been revived. They're mostly overwhelmingly positive and point to their being some kind of afterlife, or at least a chemical release in our brains right at the end that make it feel like the afterlife. What helped me was radical acceptance. The fact is, we are going to die. We just are. No one has beaten it. We will get there when we get there, but that day is not today. Would you want to live the rest of your life with 1 foot in the grave or take a thrilling water slide into it thinking to yourself "wow, what a rush that was!" Death is inevitable, but living is not. You have to choose to live.

Username: deadmeatdeadmeat

Date posted: 42w ago

@FoolishMortal1000 that’s how it is for me! that’s such a good idea and that’s honestly very comforting. i’m working on the acceptance part. i know that’s all i can do, it’s nothing i can work around. thank you so much for taking the time to comment!!🖤 i really appreciate it

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 42w ago

Sorry but I too find myself going down the OCD rabbit hole questioning the meaning of life, death, thoughts, feelings, sensations, consciousness, space, time, shapes, colors, skin, touch, taste, smells, etc. In my journey I’ve learned that I cannot control what comes to my mind but I can control whether to respond. Knowing that this is my OCD, I choose not to engage with or judge my OCD thoughts. Instead I choose to watch them float on. Inherently, some of these questions have no answers. Nor can there be 100% certainty. That being the case, I accept the uncertainty & rather than doing compulsions, I pass it on to my higher power and move forward living life in accordance with my values (family, friends, gardening, exercising, reading, whatever 🤗). Hope this helps and know that you are not alone.

Username: deadmeatdeadmeat

Date posted: 42w ago

@Dee C thank you so much for commenting!! i know other people go through it too, but actually talking to people about it and recognizing how common it is helps SO much. it does help! i appreciate it!:)

Username: Ag123002Ag123002

Date posted: 42w ago

I can understand and relate to everything. It's all I think about, and it affects my entire lifestyle. It got worse when a family member passed away, I don't know how I'll manage at the funeral. It's my biggest fear amidst all of this.😭

Username: deadmeatdeadmeat

Date posted: 42w ago

@Aggggge same here. it’s literally all that consumes my mind everyday 🙃i’ve been doing really difficult exposures for myself, i started my meds today and im so hoping they help. it sucks so bad and it’s so scary, but it is comforting when other people relate. you’re not alone! i’m so sorry to hear about your family member🖤

Username: Ughlmao

Date posted: 3y ago

I know I’ve asked this question so many times but please I can’t take it anymore. I need to know. How do you resolve intrusive thoughts about death? I’m exhausted, all I can think about is that I’m just going to die one day and none of my actions will matter. I feel hopeless - what’s the point? I’m also so anxious - after death I’m just gonna be nothing (probably) and although I won’t feel pain I’m so scared of it happening. I don’t want to cease to exist. Please, help.

Existential OCD

Username: piinj

Date posted: 2y ago

Success treating existential ocd?

Has anyone had success recovering from existential ocd? I’m so sick of the constant thoughts and anxiety around death and non existence. I’m doing ERP but I’m finding it challenging to find good exposures. Just looking for some hope that it’s possible to get better to keep me going. Also and tips on exposures would be appreciated!

Existential OCD

Username: Blake K.

Date posted: 2y ago

Going through existential ocd

Hey everyone, this is my first post here and I just have to get stuff off my chest. It started so randomly and so recently. I (21 m) came to accept my morality and my death at a fairly young age following watching 'UP' and my grandfather passed away. But a youtube video talking about a character struggle with their death as part of a character arc, that one line made my mind fall into a rabbit hole on death, what is death, what's after death, what's life, it's meaning, is there a God, what am I doing with my life, what do I want to do? And is it worthwhile? I felt like I like was slowly disconnecting from reality and that nothing was worth it. My interest like guitar, combat sports, pro wrestling and video games didn't bring me comfort. I've even have trouble eating, just two bites of a chicken sandwich felt like 30 bites. I've just keep thinking about my life and my inevitable death and I couldn't focus on anything else. I think it's because I feel like I'm at a war with my mind, people say life is to short and at the same time to not rush it. I am a Christian and I do believe in an after life of peace but I question what's real and what's not and I don't ever feel happy. Is anyone else going through what I'm feel I really need help.

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