- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 52w ago
I’m going to the police
I can’t carry on with this feeling of doing something (rape) intoxicated, it’s gone on for months and just think I done it all, my life’s ruined
- Username
- Cinnamoroll Cinnamoroll
- Date posted
- 52w ago
Please do not contact the police! This is your OCD spiraling out of control—if you feel on the brink of doing anything extreme, please contact a helpline! There should be helplines available that specialize or are trained to help guide OCD sufferers. Please do not forget that you are suffering from a mental illness. What you need is help and support, not detainment. You have already been punished enough by this cruel illness alone. Praying for you. ❤️
- Username
- JerseygalJerseygal
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 52w ago
@Cinnamoroll Such a kind and thoughtful response. I'm touched.
- Username
- Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 52w ago
@Cinnamoroll It’s too much the thought that I know it all etc. it’s constantly on my mind and affect my mood 24/7
- Username
- Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 52w ago
@Cinnamoroll The longer it went on without telling people the more evidence I’m finding
- Username
- Cinnamoroll Cinnamoroll
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@ Anonymous Remember that OCD can and will accept anything as evidence. Evidence in this case is a more convincing form of reassurance, but they both achieve the same outcome: worsening your panic. I’m sorry to hear it’s haunting you like this. ☹️ Only time can mend the mind from a flare-up. However, I can say this: Searching for evidence will feed your brain more fuel for panic, prolonging the emotions! As excruciating as it may be at first, please try to not give into the compulsion to search for evidence and/or reassurance! It will only make it worse. Right now your goal is to reframe your brain into lessening the threat, because then you will begin to see just how harmless the “threat” really is. Take care. ❤️
- Username
- Cinnamoroll Cinnamoroll
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@Cinnamoroll Also, one last note: If OCD presents you with evidence, DO NOT BELIEVE IT! All “evidence” during an OCD flare up will look shockingly real and convincing but it is lying to you!
- Username
- Cinnamoroll Cinnamoroll
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@Cinnamoroll For example: During a flare-up, OCD told me that my boyfriend’s EXPRESSION meant that he was cheating! In the moment it felt so REAL, like the evidence was DEFINITE. But, in retrospect (once I overcame the flare up), I could look back and see what was really going on. I was being lied to by my OCD. The expression could have meant anything, good or bad! The fact I took it as damning evidence was just an accident of my brain. You cannot trust it!
- Username
- Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@Cinnamoroll Thankyou for these comments I will try my best🙌yeah if I have got OCD it’s made me believe it all, hope your OCD journey is getting more positive and you can try and live a happy life, it’s hard I can’t accept rape or the unknown of doing it, I feel only me, the victim and people looking over me know what happened that day and they’re waiting for me to confess
- Username
- strugglesstruggles
- Date posted
- 52w ago
I've had the same thing going on for 2 years now, one of the first things I think about in the am and on my mind all day. Some days it's at a distance and I can focus but for the most part it has consumed every second of my day since it started. Good luck and God bless you, it gets easier hang in their, your stronger than you think you are.
- Username
- Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 52w ago
@struggles Please help me, have you seen a therapist etc? I’m not diagnosed with OCD either so I’m worried it’s all true
- Username
- Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 52w ago
@struggles ?
- Username
- strugglesstruggles
- Date posted
- 51w ago
My mind has played all sorts of tricks on me such as that, rape, murder, pedophilia,, anything that is against my true wishes and moral code. It's by far the most disturbing thing I've ever dealt with. I have been diagnosed and have spoke with a therapist and it has helped a bit. Some days it seems to be at a distance and I almost feel like my old normal self.
- Username
- strugglesstruggles
- Date posted
- 51w ago
But other days are truly horrific and i don't want to be here anymore but I just keep moving forward for the loved ones in my life, the ones OCD likes to latch on to the most. It's a strange version of he'll, so may twists of emotion and strange thoughts all day, very hard to ignore but with practice well get there.
- Username
- strugglesstruggles
- Date posted
- 51w ago
To me it's like living through my wost nightmare everyday, and the illness is constantly trying to have me believe I'm am the absolute scum of the earth, and I kind of feel that way at times.
- Username
- Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@struggles I totally get that, someone suggested I write a script of my night out that I think it happened but I’m scared I’m going to remember it, I also struggle a lot the way you’ve described but I’m not diagnosed that’s not helping, do you just want to confess everything?
- Username
- strugglesstruggles
- Date posted
- 51w ago
Constantly, always ruminating it tough
- Username
- Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@struggles Don’t know what else is left to do, evidence I’ve found has eventually gotten too much and my memory for me not to move on from this
- Username
- strugglesstruggles
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@anonymous but even after I was diagnosed and sure as can be that I've done nothing foul, relative to what these thoughts are telling me, still they come in all day everyday, it's looking like I'll be co existing with a very bothersome illness for a very long time. I truly hate it and just want what every other OCD sufferer wants, to feel like myself and normal again, it may never happen but I won't give up on the people in my life that love me. Do you believe in God or spirituality?
- Username
- Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@struggles I started to but this night has questioned my sexuality too, it’s made me feel terrible about everything so I was trying to get closer to god but then constantly debating my sexuality has turned me away from it, the whole rape situation has completely ruined me
- Username
- strugglesstruggles
- Date posted
- 51w ago
It feels that way it's a powerful illusion, but it not the end my friend, you probably don't feel like it but your just as worthy and deserving as anyone else. Try to be mindful and not engage with the OCD monster, good luck!
- Username
- Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@struggles @struggles I done it though I just feel I remember it all but don’t know why I haven’t confessed yet, if the rapes true life is pointless for me and I wouldn’t want to carry on
- Username
- strugglesstruggles
- Date posted
- 51w ago
I know all about what your going through, if we did something horrible, we'd remember, and if our sexuality is being questioned and it's very uncomfortable, it's most likely OCD gay people are just that, they don't fear it.
- Username
- strugglesstruggles
- Date posted
- 51w ago
@anonymous trust me I know exactly how you feel, these horrible thoughts just eating at you all day everyday, just the most horrific possibilities going through the mind non stop, it creates a tremendous amount of suffering, but somehow we just carry on. Chances are you have nothing to worry about and your brain is just play a very cruel game on you.
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- King silly
- Date posted
- 24w ago
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- Date posted
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- Username
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