S*x and rocd

Hey all. First time posting here and I’ve been struggling a lot with this. My partner and I have been together for four years and he means everything to me. He was able to get me and my dog and sister out of our abusive home, has created a family with his family for me and we have been the best of friends. For the past few months he’s been experiencing low libido and it’s been frustrating for me as intimacy and touch are a huge part of my love language. I know he loves and cares about me but I’ve been having obsessive thoughts of whether this is the right relationship for me, if I’m betraying myself and what I truly desire and need, and fearing that I’m going to harm or coerce him into sexual intimacy when he’s not ready. We’ve reached out to a couple therapist to work on this but I keep obsessing and worrying about why if this doesn’t work out and that child we planned to have is going to disappear and the beautiful life we’ve created is going to disappesr too. This has been a confusing theme of OCD because while the feelings are distressing sometimes I fear that I genuinely need to stop betraying myself and break up because I’ve been such a big people pleaser all my life due to trauma. Why if I’ll end up in a sexless relationship my whole life? Why if he ends up feeling traumatized and coerced? I’ve experienced sexual assault and would never want anyone to feel that so it really coincides with my harm ocd. It’s made me feel really suicidal the last time we got into a fight and he felt he wasn’t enough. I hate making someone I love feel this way. I don’t know what to do or if this is even relationship OCD or genuine incompatibility

My recent theme with rocd is my sexlife. Sorry if this may be too personal or triggering for some. I try to keep it short. So basically at the moment I have almost no libido. And I catch myself ruminating whether this is normal and if it has something to do with my partner. I start focusing on his imperfections and check my feelings and if I feel aroused. It makes me very anxious. I try to be kinder to myself and not force sex or anything, but for me sex is very important and I would like to have a fulfilling intimacy. Maybe that's why OCD is focusing so much on it. My partner and I had problems with it before because of a sickness he had for a few months. At that time all I wanted was to be intimate and close to him, but it wasn't possible. Now that it is possible I don't want anymore and I feel so frustrated. Maybe I'm stressing myself to much, I also have hormonal problems (PCOS, pms)....any advise on this matter?

Boyfriend initiated. Idk why I was not connected while it was happening though. Now I’m thinking a lot. Am I meant to be attracted to just the sight of his body? Is it okay if my arousal is only contextual or based on how they make me feel? I felt almost dissociated a tiny bit while it was happening and idk why, that hasn’t always happened. Ik this sounds like reassurance seeking but what part of this is unfair beliefs around how sexuality is vs what part of this is OCD overthinking. I dont get all that much out of making the other person feel good, i do it because I care about them but it doesnt arouse me directly. Ik that sounds selfish but thats why i feel insecure about this