- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I feel the same. It is the WORST. I’ve never really experienced other OCD themes as such, however I definitely frequently feel ‘off’ if things aren’t just right, and I have always been a perfectionist. The torment is just unreal. The thoughts were present on my wedding day, although I have zero regrets about the marriage and I still maintain he is the best choice I ever made! They will pop up in holidays too. The guilt is killing me, like it is so intense that I could just cry all day. :(
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Watch the YouTuber "Awaken Into Love" she is very insightful on the topic of ROCD, she helped me alot!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I can agree 1000%. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years i can tell he really cares about me and everyone else can too. Literally everyone i know has told me that i found a great guy as he treats me so well. But for some reason i just get absolutely plagued with doubts. I often think "what if i dont actually have ROCD and im just in denial that im not in love anymore." They never leave me alone. Sometimes when we hang out my anxiety just goes through the roof and other time i don't have any. I constantly nit pick at his physical features, like his skin, or teeth, or voice, or even the way he dresses sometimes and i hate it so much...i was never that superficial...then i also get those anxious thoughts telling me "you need to leave now" even though there is no real threat. I even feel guilty when i feel even a little happy when he's not around. If i feel happy at work, my brain says "see youre happy when he's not around that means youre wrong for each other" but that is complete nonsense. I know i have a right to a life outside my relationship but the anxiety is so so real
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes i can relate so much. I know i am hurting him by constantly pushing him away then pulling him close, but i just cant seem to stop. Sometimes I feel happy when i see pictures of us but then other times they trigger me and make me anxious? I feel like my anxiety has made it impossible for me to connect with him anymore and its making me push him away which i hate, because he's the only who understands me all the time. He understands things about me that my family and best friend don't, so why do i feel the urge to run? I wish i could just set my feelings straight already!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’ve joined her course before, I really should do it again. I just feel so bogged down by it all. I’m currently on my way home from a holiday with my husband, and I’ve definitely had some ROCD thoughts whilst we’ve been away, but I also have managed to fight them a bit and have a good time. But I occasionally reflect and I convince myself that I obviously had an awful time. It’s like I have to be 100% free of anxiety or thoughts to have a good time. I feel so much guilt about it - especially because I had thoughts on my wedding day too. I don’t even know where to start with dealing with this :(
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Have you ever thought about seeking therapy? There might be an underlying issue (which is completely normal for ROCD)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yep - have just started seeing someone new. Nobody seems to have knowledge on pure O, let alone ROCD
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Same
Related posts
- Date posted
- 12w ago
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond