I’m pretty sure I have ROCD (however I often heavily doubt this which makes my guilt increase lots, and believe that I’m just ‘using’ mental illness as an excuse). I know that I absolutely adore my husband. He is the best person I know. I can’t stop the thoughts, the horrible ones about his features, the awful ones telling me I need to leave him. I often google stuff, do relationship quizzes and read articles about ROCD to reduce my anxiety. I mentally check how I’m feeling about him. It is really getting me down to the point where I’m having panic attacks and am very tearful. I saw a counsellor a few months ago who diagnosed with me generalised anxiety, but I still really think I have OCD. I guess I just want to talk to other people experiencing the same stuff? I

I feel the same. It is the WORST. I’ve never really experienced other OCD themes as such, however I definitely frequently feel ‘off’ if things aren’t just right, and I have always been a perfectionist. The torment is just unreal. The thoughts were present on my wedding day, although I have zero regrets about the marriage and I still maintain he is the best choice I ever made! They will pop up in holidays too. The guilt is killing me, like it is so intense that I could just cry all day. :(

Watch the YouTuber "Awaken Into Love" she is very insightful on the topic of ROCD, she helped me alot!

I can agree 1000%. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years i can tell he really cares about me and everyone else can too. Literally everyone i know has told me that i found a great guy as he treats me so well. But for some reason i just get absolutely plagued with doubts. I often think "what if i dont actually have ROCD and im just in denial that im not in love anymore." They never leave me alone. Sometimes when we hang out my anxiety just goes through the roof and other time i don't have any. I constantly nit pick at his physical features, like his skin, or teeth, or voice, or even the way he dresses sometimes and i hate it so much...i was never that superficial...then i also get those anxious thoughts telling me "you need to leave now" even though there is no real threat. I even feel guilty when i feel even a little happy when he's not around. If i feel happy at work, my brain says "see youre happy when he's not around that means youre wrong for each other" but that is complete nonsense. I know i have a right to a life outside my relationship but the anxiety is so so real

Yes i can relate so much. I know i am hurting him by constantly pushing him away then pulling him close, but i just cant seem to stop. Sometimes I feel happy when i see pictures of us but then other times they trigger me and make me anxious? I feel like my anxiety has made it impossible for me to connect with him anymore and its making me push him away which i hate, because he's the only who understands me all the time. He understands things about me that my family and best friend don't, so why do i feel the urge to run? I wish i could just set my feelings straight already!

I’ve joined her course before, I really should do it again. I just feel so bogged down by it all. I’m currently on my way home from a holiday with my husband, and I’ve definitely had some ROCD thoughts whilst we’ve been away, but I also have managed to fight them a bit and have a good time. But I occasionally reflect and I convince myself that I obviously had an awful time. It’s like I have to be 100% free of anxiety or thoughts to have a good time. I feel so much guilt about it - especially because I had thoughts on my wedding day too. I don’t even know where to start with dealing with this :(

Have you ever thought about seeking therapy? There might be an underlying issue (which is completely normal for ROCD)

Yep - have just started seeing someone new. Nobody seems to have knowledge on pure O, let alone ROCD

Same