Today I fell like I'm giving up

It feels like OCD has taken everything good out of my life. I only feel free from anxiety, guilt, fear and lack of control when I'm sleeping and I'm lucky that my intrusive thoughts don't affect my night's sleep either. My therapist has already warned me about the dangers of not doing anything that is good for me as this can result in severe depression, but I feel so guilty about my thoughts and then carrying out a compulsion, that sometimes I don't even feel like eating, I feel truly sick to my stomach. I have suffered from undiagnosed OCD for as long as I can remember, I finally had a diagnosis at the beginning of this year and it was a relief at first, to have an answer as to why my whole life was the way it was, but now I continue the treatment and I don't know if one day I will be able to improve. I know that OCD has no cure and it hurts to think that I will have to live every day of my life fighting my own brain. Anyway, this has gone on too long, this app is one of the best things I've ever done for myself and my disorder, I hope this all passes soon, I'm tired.

Username: Brooke cookieBrooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 30w ago

As someone that has had OCD for a long time it does get better but it is going to take them while you have to keep working on not doing your compulsions. I know I’ve had many sleepless nights and not being able to eat or had bad enough panic attacks that I threw up. but you’ll be OK just keep trying it does get better. The OCD does not go away but you will be able to learn to not be bothered by it it just kind of exists just kind of floats around in your head and you’re able to just do whatever you wanted to do anyway and you don’t care that is there. I also suffer from depression because of my OCD but I’m slowly getting better and I think you can slowly get better too I believe in you stay strong. OCD is a very treatable condition. You have to learn how to do response exposure and be OK with the thoughts and then slowly they stop bothering you. Are used to have really bad distress from my peer. Oh harm OCD thoughts for a long time I thought I was gonna hurt my family because of them and I would see graphic images and it truly made me feel like a horrible monster, but eventually I was able to overcome them and even though sometimes I still see the graphic images of the thoughts, I’m able to not become bothered by them. Hopefully you were also able to learn that you’re OCD it’s just thoughts and not have them bother you anymore but it is gonna take some time. You just kinda have to let them in except that you’re having them and not do any compulsions you don’t need to do anything just let them exist. Stay strong I know OCDs hard

Username: BwillbebetterBwillbebetter

Date posted: 30w ago

omg thank you so much for those kind words, you almost made me cry! There are days that are really more difficult to resist a ritual or not believe in an intrusive thought, but I will believe that it will be just for today and hope that tomorrow will be better. Again, thank you so much for your kindness, good luck with your journey too ❤️🥹

Username: m6m6

Date posted: 30w ago

I can understand why are you feeling like that. But don’t give up, everything works out 🫶🏻

Username: BwillbebetterBwillbebetter

Date posted: 30w ago

Thank you very much, some days are more difficult than others, I can't give up thinking that tomorrow can get better. Thanks ❤️

Username: No longer In the twilight zoneNo longer In...

Date posted: 30w ago

I’m sorry you are suffering I feel the same way you do I only get peace when I sleep 💤 Thank you for sharing your story that is mighty brave of you You are going to overcome OCD Stick to your treatment

Username: BwillbebetterBwillbebetter

Date posted: 30w ago

Yes, it is very difficult sometimes, but we need to keep going. Thank you for your support and good luck on your journey too ❤️

Username: No longer In the twilight zoneNo longer In...

Date posted: 30w ago

@Bwillbebetter Thank you

Username: Lavander

Date posted: 5y ago

In the last two days, I was deeply sad and unmotivated (If you read my posts, I think you noticed it). So, today, I woke up "better". It's just like I'm in a tiny moment of clarity. I'm so sick of this. It isn't true, but it won't leave me alone. I just feel mentally and emotionally exhausted. And when it comes back, it just feels so real. OCD screams that I'm just in denial, and it takes all my will to live, like it's taking my identity and ripping it to shreds. "What ifs" flood my mind. It puts a weight on my heart. It makes me believe I need to "come out". It takes my attention from other areas of my life. I am always in a bad mood. I mistreat my parents. I'm cold towards my colleagues. This lie is destroying my life, treatment is expensive, and I have no one to talk about this who would really understand. If it wasn't for this app, I'd be completely alone in this dreadful illness.

Username: you.are.enough

Date posted: 3y ago

When I look at pictures of myself, I see a young woman who deserves a fulfilling life that is not dictated by OCD and anxiety. I feel sad that so much of my time, my energy, and my choices have been consumed by OCD. I spend so much time in my head, ruminating and worrying and trying so damn hard to figure out that one thing that my OCD urgently presses me to solve. Sometimes I don't enjoy things that I want to because I'm overwhelmed with my compulsions. I've struggled with this for years, and lately OCD has been telling me that the struggle will never end--that I'll never feel in control of my life. I know that this isn't true, but I'm so scared that it could be. My faith doesn't feel bigger than my fear right now. How do I change that? I don't want to live like this anymore. As I'm writing this, my OCD is telling me that I'm incapable of recovery, but I know I can recover. I deserve to recover. I'm in therapy with an OCD specialist outside of this app and I'm going to increase the frequency of my sessions from once a month to once a week because I deserve an amazing, fulfilling life. And to whoever is reading this, you do, too.

Relationship OCD

Username: Bondgirl#88

Date posted: 27w ago

Depression Anxiety and OCD

I feel like my body and mind are just so tired of being stuck in these same mental loops of torment with OCD and don’t know how to do anything else. I feel exhausted from not being able to cure myself out of these thoughts and self-destructive habits and that I’m not going to make it out of them because I’ve been tied down to this illness for so long. I wish things could have been different growing up and I took care of myself better so I wouldn’t have gotten so negative and loved myself more so these thoughts wouldn’t be so potent. I’ve had OCD most of my life, and I just don’t get how other people can live their lives normally and not suffer so heavily. I get really mad knowing I’m stuck in this vicious cycle and other people can enjoy life so easily. And now the summer is coming and it’s when I get the most depressed and feel so helpless from sadness, and my OCD has only just gotten worse. I feel like I just don’t have the energy to take care of myself anymore, and hate how anxious I am about actually telling people what’s going on with me in fear of judgment and not accepting me, so I just go along with self-sabotaging habits. I’m also afraid that nobody is going to want to help me. This only makes things worse, and it’s really hard for me to be happy. I just don’t know how to cope anymore. It makes it so hard to function as a human since I’ve been struggling for so long. I feel so disconnected from God because of this illness, and it only makes me more upset with myself for lack of effort and feel depressed. Please if someone is struggling with something similar or has advice, reach out ❤️

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Today I fell like I'm giving up

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