- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you both for responding and trying to find solutions. I truly appreciate your compassion. My life has been less stressful lately, which is why I thought I could handle signing up for this series. I do feel loved in general, but OCD often convinces me that others love the person I’m “pretending” to be and not the “real” me. I think a little preparation and planning for a really thorough decompression and relaxation after is important. Today, mid-day, my panic finally broke. While I’m still in an anxious state, I’ve found the ability to function again. For now, I’m going to keep trying. I hate to back out of a challenge like this; that’s just showing my OCD that it won. I am allowing for the possibility that I may pull out of the classes later on if it doesn’t improve, but I’m going to try just a little longer, and see if I can overcome. Being brave in these situations is so hard. The mind and body make every second feel like life and death. The fight/flight response turns on and for me, it’s very hard to turn off. Again, thank you both for responding and for anyone who read. After I wrote this post originally, I felt a little better just knowing I’d shared and put my fears out into the world a little. I tend to internalize and keep everything to myself. It’s always a big step for me to ask for help, acceptance, or compassion. I’m glad I did.
- Date posted
- 5y
That sounds horrible, seems like you’ve had a series of unpredicted unfortunate negative events. Perhaps you’re too stressed out to deal with such a level of exposure at the moment. How much stress do you have in life in general right now? Do you feel supported and loved in general? Maybe you should try to do what you can to sleep and rest, and slowly get back at it again, trying to stay healthy and keeping a good foundation for treating yourself. Remember that OCD is your enemy and that this is just one skirmish in a long war. In the end OCD NEVER wins the war.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey there, I wish you to get better soon! I agree with @ejgh, sounds like too strong an exposure. If you want to stick to these classes, maybe try preparing yourself to them? Not pushing away thoughts about how you felt during the class when it’s over, but trying to sit with discomfort when you’re safely home?
- Date posted
- 5y
And I’ve just remembered how I used to be triggered at mo yoga classes too. It was the worst. So I know it’s hard.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
- Date posted
- 21w
This is so extremely difficult, i’ve never experienced having thoughts of being a different gender. i’ve always been comfortable being a girl. i’ve always been a girly girl. this all started a couple months ago and it’s increasingly getting worse. i’ve had times where i didn’t like my body but i always thought i could just go to the gym and fix it, never did i think i wanted to be a man. ever since these thoughts started i hate looking at myself in the mirror, i hate looking at my body, i’m aware of my breasts all day everyday, i can’t look at pictures/ videos of myself. from the moment i wake up to the second i go to sleep i have these thoughts. i’m in a panic EVERYDAY. i don’t want to be trans but my thoughts are convincing me i do. i’ve never bat an eye when someone calls me a girl but now it’s like i’m aware of it which i hate. i hate that i’m having these thoughts & it’s convincing me that i want them & that i have to just come out and change. i want to be able to go back to being comfortable as a girl. this has left me feeling so hopeless and depressed, i can’t help but cry every day. has anyone else felt like their whole world was turned upside down?
- Date posted
- 21w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
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