- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you both for responding and trying to find solutions. I truly appreciate your compassion. My life has been less stressful lately, which is why I thought I could handle signing up for this series. I do feel loved in general, but OCD often convinces me that others love the person I’m “pretending” to be and not the “real” me. I think a little preparation and planning for a really thorough decompression and relaxation after is important. Today, mid-day, my panic finally broke. While I’m still in an anxious state, I’ve found the ability to function again. For now, I’m going to keep trying. I hate to back out of a challenge like this; that’s just showing my OCD that it won. I am allowing for the possibility that I may pull out of the classes later on if it doesn’t improve, but I’m going to try just a little longer, and see if I can overcome. Being brave in these situations is so hard. The mind and body make every second feel like life and death. The fight/flight response turns on and for me, it’s very hard to turn off. Again, thank you both for responding and for anyone who read. After I wrote this post originally, I felt a little better just knowing I’d shared and put my fears out into the world a little. I tend to internalize and keep everything to myself. It’s always a big step for me to ask for help, acceptance, or compassion. I’m glad I did.
- Date posted
- 5y
That sounds horrible, seems like you’ve had a series of unpredicted unfortunate negative events. Perhaps you’re too stressed out to deal with such a level of exposure at the moment. How much stress do you have in life in general right now? Do you feel supported and loved in general? Maybe you should try to do what you can to sleep and rest, and slowly get back at it again, trying to stay healthy and keeping a good foundation for treating yourself. Remember that OCD is your enemy and that this is just one skirmish in a long war. In the end OCD NEVER wins the war.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey there, I wish you to get better soon! I agree with @ejgh, sounds like too strong an exposure. If you want to stick to these classes, maybe try preparing yourself to them? Not pushing away thoughts about how you felt during the class when it’s over, but trying to sit with discomfort when you’re safely home?
- Date posted
- 5y
And I’ve just remembered how I used to be triggered at mo yoga classes too. It was the worst. So I know it’s hard.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
- Date posted
- 18w
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
- Date posted
- 13w
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
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