- Date posted
- 46w ago
pocd intrusive images
Am I the only one who gets truly terrible and graphic intrusive images? They're too much.
Am I the only one who gets truly terrible and graphic intrusive images? They're too much.
Me and a lot of other people with pure ocd obsession have dark I intrusive thoughts and have graphic images of doing the intrusive thoughts. My are of hurting my family or myself and see I fast graphic images of me killing and it used to scare me. I have been working on my ocd , I am slowly getting better. I recommend looking up exposure response and what are compulsions and how not to do them. Ocd is hard and I hate the image they creep me out . Stay strong you can heal from ocd.
One of my biggest fears is that Im the only one who has had these particular intrusive thoughts. They are disgusting and make me feel so guilty. I feel as if I need to hear that others have the same thoughts for me to forgive myself
I get this too, whenever I see a child (real or fictional) i get horrible intrusive thoughts and images.
when those intrusive images happen, I think, "intrusive images can't be that bad, so I must be a ****."
@Nameless000 Intrusive images can be ANYTHING that you’re afraid of. OCD is just a bully who likes to see you upset.
@regretfulrain But why does it have to be so graphic. it feels very real. i can't tolerate it. Even though it might not be my fault I feel guilty anyway for seeing such disgusting things in my head.
@Nameless000 It’s that graphic because you are afraid of it. The more you learn distress tolerance and exposures the easier it will become.
I do and I hate them
Nope, that’s POCD in a nutshell. You need to let them be without reacting to them and go about your day.
but that's impossible. Because ocd is quite literally forcing my brain to reproduce illegal things without my consent and forcing me to see it, be a spectator of it. I feel complicit. You can't not freak out. If a bad person showed you something illegal you would freak out. And that scenario already happened to me and it traumatized me till this day.
@Nameless000 It’s definitely not impossible as thousands of people with OCD do it daily, all the time. Thoughts aren’t illegal. If you went to a police station and told them l, “Here’s a list of my intrusive thoughts” they will ask you if you’ve physically broken a law, and when you say no, then they will ask you to leave because you don’t break any law. You need to speak to your OCD therapist about this. You constantly seeking reassurance and reacting to your OCD is what’s making it worse. You have had many people say this same thing to you on here, not just me.
My intrusive images were an absolute nightmare back in April. I honestly don’t even know how it got better, I had written a letter to God begging for help. Well recently idk if it’s because I’ve been stressed a lot again and ruminating on a lot of pocd related things from the past the make me worry, but the images have started again and even though they are repulsive and awful, I feel like I’m not reacting how I should. I think I just got to where I would just try to like blink it away and ignore it, but I feel so bad if I’m not feeling absolute shame and guilt. I feel like I feel too normal and sometimes I forget that if anyone knew besides people on here, I can’t imagine what people would think, but I also know it’s not who I am so I feel like I don’t worry as much as I should. Also, I can’t stop worrying about fanfiction I read when I was like 16 and 17. It really bothers me because I keep wondering did I imagine this one character my age? Why did I read this? Did I even know what aging up was then, and even if I did it’s wrong and gross anyway but if I didn’t age this character up then that’s awful. And i just can’t let go but I think it’s triggering me to have the images so idk what to do.
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
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