Back door spike?

So a few months ago my ocd was okay and kinda maintainable, well my sisters dad passed away and it got me into my emotions a bit and then I had a huge panic attack in march and a huge panic attack in April, and until a few days ago I was struggling horribly with harm ocd, real event ocd, false memory, and some zoophilia ocd, having constant panic attacks daily up to 20 huge panic attacks a day. Well I was looking on Reddit and NOCD to see if I could find anything about it bc the past week I have still had intrusive thoughts, not as many but still have a lot but no panic attacks, but I’m still feeling pretty anxious on the part of “why am I not having a panic attack, this isn’t a good thought and it’s a thought you would have freaked out abt last week, why aren’t you doing it now” Well I found something abt back door spike but I can’t find really what it is, some are saying it’s like how I feel and some are saying where it’s a huge spike in the panic like I had for a few months. Don’t get me wrong I hate the panic but when the panic isn’t there I feel like my brain switched and that maybe I’m not ocd and I’m just crazy. What do yall think it could be?

Username: stxrmadsstxrmads

Date posted: 29w ago

to my knowledge, backdoor spike is the obsession about why you don't feel the anxiety or panic when you have these thoughts or scared that you are crazy. That sounds exactly like what you are experiencing. "One of the most pernicious manifestations of the denial obsession occurs with what is known as a “backdoor spike”. This occurs when the OCD sufferer starts to experience less anxiety in response to their unwanted thoughts, and then begins to obsess that they are not anxious enough about these thoughts. When this occurs, the person with OCD often sees this as further evidence that they have been in denial all along." sourced from https://ocdla.com/doubt-denial-ocd-5342#:~:text=One%20of%20the%20most%20pernicious,anxious%20enough%20about%20these%20thoughts.

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 29w ago

Sorry to hear about your sister's father passing. The backdoor spike is basically when someone is induced with panic because they weren't worrying about something they're expecting to worry about. You worry about not worrying

Username: L_e_dL_e_d

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w ago

From my experience with OCD, it’s always looking for SOMETHING to latch onto— even if that something is a good thing like not having as many panic attacks— my ocd is me checking to see if the same thoughts make me anxious, like my brain wants to test to see if I’m over it or not. All of these habits are still OCD because OCD is all about the fear of lack of control and fear of unwanted things happening— so what if you tried changing your mindset to “it’s okay if I have a panic attack right now! In fact, I want one, bring it on!” For me this has made all the difference. When the idea of a panic attack turns into something that is welcome and you want (which sounds crazy, I know), it actually takes all of the power away because suddenly it’s not forbidden or a bad thing

Username: amommy03

Date posted: 4y ago

So I have GAD and OCD, harm and POCD. Up until a month or so ago I had been spike free for 2 years. I was so happy and free. The best I’ve ever felt. I was able to go off my meds and really enjoy life again. I guess a month or so ago I could feel my anxiety creeping in due to being stuck at home from Covid. Things just began spiraling and here I am back in another POCD spike. Same theme different worries every day. I’m back on new meds but it’s only been 3 weeks so Idk how well they’re working. I guess I’m posting because I’m really upset I spiraled after doing so well and I’m really upset it’s the same theme. That makes me feel like more of a bad person. Like what if it’s not OCD? Yes I know that’s the OCD talking. Ugh why can’t I just be worry free??? Have any of you been doing well and spiked with the same theme?

Username: Madison the ...

Date posted: 3y ago

I’ve been dealing with a backdoor spike the past couple months. I’m trying to be patient with myself, but I’m so upset I just want to cry. I was doing really good, but now this obsession plagues me all day. It hits me first thing in the morning and I hate waking up. I know how to do ERP, but for whatever reason, it’s SO much harder to spot and resist compulsions for this new obsession! Please don’t give me reassurance, but yeah, has anyone overcome a backdoor spike that lasted this long? It’s made my depression worse. I want to cry right now. It’s my brother’s birthday and I’m just so upset and on edge due to this discomfort. 😢

"Pure" OCD

Username: genericusern...

Date posted: 3y ago

I first sought help for SO-OCD in 2017 after a sudden onset of the thought, "what if I'm gay?" I had been reading an online college fiction story that included a sex scene with two women, and that idea sent me into a spiral of sleepless weeks (literally), constantly checking my level of attraction to women, comparing it to my attraction to men, reevaluating past events, checking to see if my physical behaviors were "straight." It was awful. Fortunately I found help online when I realized that I wasn't alone and that countless others found themselves obsessing over a "sudden change" in their orientation. I was able to get therapy, though out of network and very expensive, and worked through CBT/ERP to overcome my most significant challenges. After about a year, through therapy and eventually on my own (costs, again smh) I felt I'd successfully managed my SO-OCD and experienced no distress on the rare occasion a thought did come to pass. Now, 5 years later, I've found myself back in familiar territory. I can't figure out what the trigger was here, and I've been experiencing immense distress as my brain constantly throws doubtful thoughts my way, and I unfortunately do my mental checks of reviewing memories, seeking online reassurance, and trying to "prove" to myself what is true by constantly thinking about proof one way or the other. Has anyone else experienced a spike after a long time of having managed their SO-OCD? And if so, was it difficult to get back on the recovery track? Is it normal to backslide like this?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Back door spike?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community