Anyone here a Christian and dealing with ROCD? I’m in a really great relationship with my boyfriend who is a Christian like myself. We both have our own solid relationship with God. However, every time I pray specifically about my relationship (and have for 4 years) I feel like God gives me affirmations or feelings soon after that conclude with my boyfriend just not being the person God has for me and I know God loves me and wants the best for me no matter what. Every time I pray about this, the ROCD comes in, like, “God has more for you”, “God has someone better for you”, “Am I disobeying and disappointing God if I stay in this relationship?” “Am I missing out on someone more fulfilling that God may have for me?” You get the point. After that part of the process, I beat myself up in guilt both for my boyfriend and thinking that I’m not listening to what God wants for me and I’m just holding onto something that’s good but I could have better. Then I just stop praying about that question and feel like I avoid God. And lastly, inevitably, I feel numb around my boyfriend because I’m exhausted from the whole process and I live in a feeling of settlement even though I do love him. My boyfriend believes that God has put me in his life and that God has grown him so much in part for me and because of our relationship. He is amazing, and I agree slightly, but that just leads me to more questions. Why don’t I feel that was too or why don’t I feel love for him the way I should If God out us together? Sorry if this triggers anyone. I have just been dealing with this for 4 years and have never actually typed it out this way. Any comments, advice or anything is welcome

my ocd has really been taking its toll on me lately. i feel completely unloved by God. i use to feel it, but now i just kinda feel a hole. i talk to Him everyday, and read devotionals. i spend time with Him. i just can’t feel Him. i know a relationship with God isn’t based on feelings, but on faith. i guess my faith is running a bit low. i’m just tired and my thoughts get worse. it’s like a roller coaster.

Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?

Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!