Anyone here a Christian and dealing with ROCD? I’m in a really great relationship with my boyfriend who is a Christian like myself. We both have our own solid relationship with God. However, every time I pray specifically about my relationship (and have for 4 years) I feel like God gives me affirmations or feelings soon after that conclude with my boyfriend just not being the person God has for me and I know God loves me and wants the best for me no matter what. Every time I pray about this, the ROCD comes in, like, “God has more for you”, “God has someone better for you”, “Am I disobeying and disappointing God if I stay in this relationship?” “Am I missing out on someone more fulfilling that God may have for me?” You get the point. After that part of the process, I beat myself up in guilt both for my boyfriend and thinking that I’m not listening to what God wants for me and I’m just holding onto something that’s good but I could have better. Then I just stop praying about that question and feel like I avoid God. And lastly, inevitably, I feel numb around my boyfriend because I’m exhausted from the whole process and I live in a feeling of settlement even though I do love him. My boyfriend believes that God has put me in his life and that God has grown him so much in part for me and because of our relationship. He is amazing, and I agree slightly, but that just leads me to more questions. Why don’t I feel that was too or why don’t I feel love for him the way I should If God out us together? Sorry if this triggers anyone. I have just been dealing with this for 4 years and have never actually typed it out this way. Any comments, advice or anything is welcome

After having a religious conversation with my mom I’m feeling quite triggered. She means well, it’s just I’ve avoided going to church ever since getting serious with my bf because every time I go I get this pit in my stomach and this horrible feeling that God is telling me to leave my relationship. But I don’t want to leave my relationship. So I can’t go to church, read the Bible or anything because it triggers this intense reaction and I end up believing I have to leave even though I love my boyfriend and really don’t want to. is anyone else struggling with this? And at the same time, I have so much guilt and feel so scared that I’m going to die because I haven’t been living a Catholic lifestyle and am afraid to die and go to hell. I don’t know but I’m so sad and lost:(

I go back and forth wondering if my anxiety and fear is coming from the Lord to try and get my attention. I'm in a healthy and loving relationship that is Christ centered. It doesn't make sense why I'm having such anxiety about moving forward in my relationship. I've read articles that say God doesn't give anxiety but instead peace. I've read that He doesnt want us to be anxious. But then I read the story about Samuel and Eli and how God caused unrest for Samuel to get his attention. I'm so afraid that God wants me to break up with my bf, but it isn't clear. My anxiety doesn't make sense. I am feeling so physically sick today.

I’m feeling really upset. Recently I’ve become closer to God. And been reading lots of things about Christianity. Now I have always believed from the moment I met my bf that he was different and unlike any feeling I’ve felt before. I’ve been having these intrusive thoughts saying “what if God didn’t choose this person for me” and similar things which makes me scared. I know the earthy term of marriage doesn’t exist in heaven , but I believe that if both partners believe they can spend eternity together in heaven. I keep having thoughts of “what if I get to heaven and God says I’ve got a different person planned for you and you wasted your time” that SCARES the hell out of me and makes me so upset. I feel like wether soulmates exist or not he is mine… and he has said the same thing to me… just because we both have made mistakes and are not perfect and may think differently sometimes, he genuinely feels like home to me and I want to cry while writing that because it’s true. To me, I feel in my heart my bf is truly my soulmate, even tho we both have things to learn still on our journey. Even when we have separated many times we always come back together because we can’t stay away, there’s something that draws us together no matter what happens… I don’t mean for these thoughts to happen and it feels like a new theme starting for me. I’ve been a mess all day because of these thoughts and I know a bunch of strangers can’t tell me if he’s my soulmate or not, or the person that’s meant for me, but has anyone had similar ocd themes to this? I genuinely feel afraid because I don’t want there to be anyone else, he is my everything, so is our daughter we share together… and God is too! I am trying to put my faith above everything else in my life because that’s what is expected as a Christian. Why is this so painful? Im not doubting my relationship I genuinely am so in love with my boyfriend and want to be with him forever and one day eternity in heaven. Then I have these intrusive thoughts that are trying to make it out like Gods the one telling me this (intrusive thoughts and doubt come from the devil, not God) it hurts my soul to have these thoughts racing in my mind. If I spend my life with my partner (this is both of our intentions) and we continue to become better in our relationship, and always try for eachother nomatter what then doesn’t that make him my soulmate? Isn’t your soulmate meant to be the one you feel like you couldn’t live without, the one you turn to with everything, the one who makes your life happier and your heart feel full? I guess ocd just likes to attack anything Good I have going on.