I feel so weird and not present

Yesterday was such a bad day for me,it felt like I was stuck in this chamber with my mind and I just cried and stayed in my room. Today I went out to make an effort at being productive but I just don't feel present and I feel so tired. I'm sitting outside the store cause I got dizzy and everything just felt weird while doing shopping withmy family. I feel hopeless. I knew death was a thing before this flare up and I was fine,I've had problems with this ocd years ago but I don't feel strong enough to endure. Now my mind just wants to ruminate, "maybe you forgot about death and now you're remembering it again and this is how it will be forever". The fact that I will die makes it so hard to stay "uncertain" with this OCD. It's making it so hard to do anything and enjoy life. I know it's my brain causing this anxiety,but when the thoughts overwhelm me it's hard. I'm gonna cook something today and make the effort to enjoy it.

PiotrekPL0001

Date posted: 1y

Same goes for me unfortunately, you're not alone in this. 🫂

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I understand. I have felt all of that, and I was admitted to a mental health facility. It's a day by day, sometimes it's a minute by minute. OCD is an anxiety disorder that takes time to get under control. It won't happen overnight. And as hard as it is sitting with the uncertainty of not knowing and continuing to do the next thing just try. . Maybe you can't go places too much right now but as you said you can cook something. Take a walk. Journal. Draw. Watch a funny video and laugh. Even if it's fake laughter, your body doesn't know the difference in real and fake. Draw. I can't draw worth anything but I draw stick people to put my emotions on paper. And you may not feel any different when you do something. But it's not about feeling better. It's about doing it anyway. You can get through this but it's hard. Hard but doable.

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I have felt some of what you described. Like having to leave a store because of feeling weak, detached from reality. Anxiety can do that. The thoughts bring so many emotions, but going on and doing the next thing is a good way to help. The uncertainty is going to be there, just try to sit with it. And give yourself some grace and compassion. You made the effort to go shopping with your family and that's a good thing! 🫂

ScaredyCat

Date posted: 1y

The anxiety makes it so hard,it makes me feel like I have a timer and I'm just paralyzed. I've debated going to a mental hospital and admitting myself, but I have to ask around because I'm not native to the country i currently live in. I just feel so alone and defeated,like my mind can't focus on the now.

jro_04

Date posted: 23w

Scary existential thoughts

So today I’ve been crying all day. My existential OCD has flared up in the past week and it may or may not have been because of me trying to quit nicotine. Don’t get me wrong I had been having thoughts before that but it seemed to be at a calm for a few months. I also have been alone for the past week due to my mom going away on vacation. That may or may not have been a factor as well. But I’ve been feeling really depressed and scared. So much has been on my mind that it would be paragraphs and paragraphs so I’ll just leave it up to the people who have experienced existential OCD. I’ve noticed that I haven’t been giving much attention to my other subtypes in the sense of challenging them. I guess I felt that since I had the scary existential thoughts on hold that I didn’t have to work on the other stuff because I felt like those things were worth worrying about instead of worrying about my purpose or why am I me type of thoughts. I just write this to share and maybe get advice from anyone experiencing what I’ve been experiencing. I’m going to keep going though and keep trying to kick OCD’s ass. Because what’s the alternative? Lol. Hope whoever is reading this is enjoying the little things and giving themselves grace and having a good day. 😊🙏

Existential OCD

mossy123

Date posted: 16w

Existential ocd

So this past week I’ve had a really bad ocd spiral. I can’t stop thinking about death and what happens after. Because of this, I’ve felt no motivation to get out of bed. I don’t know if it’s burnout from school, depression, or just existential ocd. I can’t focus on the present,and I feel like I’m in a dream like state. I went through a similar time a few years ago, and was able to get out of it. Even if I do accept that death is inevitable, how do I get motivation to do anything when I know it won’t matter in the end? Any tips?

This is me!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14w

Aging and death anxiety

I’ve been perturbed for a couple of months now with incessant thoughts about aging and dying. I really am not sure what to do. This feels like other OCD themes, but also really different, because this time, what I’m afraid of is sure to happen. I will either die, or age and then die. It’s been so difficult to enjoy anything lately. I just want to pull a blanket over my head and wait until death comes. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel quite alone. I am trying to enjoy life, but I just remember that it will all be gone in a flash. Nothing really seems to help me feel better. The only escape I have is in my dreams where I can fantasize about never aging or dying. Or at least being able to rewind the clock to have more time.

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I feel so weird and not present

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