- Date posted
- 1y
Volume
Why is the volume of rumination so loud some days while others not so much?
Why is the volume of rumination so loud some days while others not so much?
I know how you feel, when anxiety is high rumination feels so high too. I always feel like when my brain tells me something is dirty or contaminated I feel it is then I get a really uncomfortable feeling everywhere.
I completely understand how you're feeling, sometimes I will just wake up with an anxious feeling and I know it will be high ruminating day.
@Anonymous Yes! It’s like the thoughts are making up for lost time during sleep.
That’s a great question! Stay curious and figure it out. That’s what I’ve been doing. It’s definitely worse for me at night. If my mood has been kind of low, I’m more susceptible. If I haven’t gotten enough sleep. Certain things trigger me…I’m figuring them out. That has been really helpful…to know what brought on the rumination.
@JediMJ I struggle to identify my triggers, definitely important work
@Stein Yes, me too! My rumination was so automatic I didn’t think there were triggers. But I stop myself now, in the middle of my rumination*, and ask—How did you get here? What happened? What were you feeling? And if I can identify it and accept the uncertainty and allow myself to feel the sadness or loneliness or whatever, then I can refocus/practice grounding techniques and move on. *Well, not always. Sometimes I’m just so distressed that I’m stuck. But, I’m working on it.
I’ve been tracking my feelings on this free app, to help me figure things out. It’s been an interesting experiment. You might check it out… https://howwefeel.org/ Hoping things get easier for all of us. 🙂
OK, this might sound really dumb, but when you guys get intrusive thoughts, do they just come once and then go away? I’ve heard that repeatedly thinking about an intrusive thought is considered ‘checking,’ but it doesn’t feel like I have any control over how many times it comes up in my head. It’s not like I’m trying to check anything—it just keeps showing up, almost like it’s terrorizing me every time. I can’t seem to stop it from looping, stop remembering it, or prevent it from coming up. Every time it does, I feel horrified, and I already know it’s going to horrify me. I don’t think I’m actively trying to see if my feelings have changed, so is this still considered checking? How do other people get an intrusive thought and just move on? Doesn’t it pop up a million times for them too? I always thought that was normal, but now I’m hearing this could be a compulsion, and I feel really confused, scared, and lost. Is this why my OCD feels so extreme? Because I really don’t feel like I can control how many times the thought pops up.
I find that the intrusive thoughts that hurt me the most are the quiet ones. The ones that, at a glance, can be hard to differentiate from your own thoughts. The louder thoughts are easy to diffuse, to say "maybe, maybe not" to but the quiet ones leave me ruminating for hours trying to figure out if they're mine or OCD's. They leave me feeling disconnected from those around me and even from myself. I can go from happily thinking about marrying my boyfriend in the future to feeling like I have never actually loved him in a matter of minutes all because a thought was a whisper rather than a scream. This is my first post and I'm not sure what I'm looking for in making it. Advice? To know I'm not alone? I guess if there's anything you feel the need to share I'd love to hear it.
So hard to not engage the thoughts because even though it's from the "past" (i don't even know if im remembering things correctly and it kills me) and i can't change it, I just NEED to prove it to myself that it didn't happen this way. If you'd asked me questions maybe a few months ago, I would have been able to lucidly explain things. Now I just feel like I'm in a constant swarm of thoughts, not knowing if anything is real. If my brain is to be trusted. Wish I could just get hypnosis to forget
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