Random things as proof I guess

Guys please I can't stop these thoughts at all. They're stopping me do so many basic things. I can't bring myself to take part in practical lab experiments at school which I need for a pass mark. I just can't do it because of the stupid harm thoughts. I can't let myself enjoy anything either, I got some mock exams back and I did really well all As/A*s even whilst I sat them when I wasn't okay at all. I should be so proud but I can't help but use these results as proof that I'm not really sick and I'm just faking it and having the bad things come to me when they're useful like missing the practicals and other things. I've gotten so distressed by these thoughts as of late I turned to actually hitting my head against a wall to get rid of them and I don't know how to bring this up to therapist bc it sounds absolutely mad but it was the only thing i could think to do to get rid of these.

djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Sorry you're going through such a rough time. First off, please don't be afraid of bringing anything up to your therapist. Remember that they've pretty much heard everything. That's what they're here for. As for what to do right now, my advice is to reframe your relationship with these thoughts. Any time you try to "get rid" of thoughts, that strategy will backfire. There's a famous study done by a psychologist named Daniel Wegner, who came up with the "Ironic Process Theory." The theory is that the more we try NOT to think about something, the more we end up thinking about it. In the study, he split up a large group of participants and sat them in front of a button. They were all instructed to press that button any time they thought about white polar bears. He specifically told one group to NEVER think about white polar bears. He told the other group that they could think about white polar bears all they wanted. Can you guess what happened? The group that was told to NEVER think about the bears ended up pressing the button nearly twice as often as the other group. The results were pretty clear: actively trying to avoid thoughts makes them come up more often. The thing is, the actual content of the thoughts doesn't matter. All that matters it that for one reason or another, you don't want to think those specific thoughts. That's all it takes for them to become sticky and pervasive. What I'm trying to say here is that it doesn't matter if you have thoughts about white polar bears, or about stabbing your mother. The frequency and intensity of these thoughts has NOTHING to do with how "real" or "true" they are, it has everything to do with how much you're resisting them. The way forward is to accept that these thoughts are occurring, and to allow them to be there even though you don't like them. This takes time and practice, but I promise you that it's possible to make it through this. Over time the thoughts will become less sticky and occur much less often, because they no longer get the same rise out of you that they are now. You may be interested in looking up "Radical Acceptance." Best of luck.

lu22

Date posted: 23w

Suffering a lot, need advice, have no therapy 🙁🙁

I feel like this time I can’t pick myself back up. It felt too real like I don’t even belive it wasn’t real I fully feel like it was my own feeling and I genuinely felt that. I had stabbing intrusive thoughts, I imaginined it on purpose to test my reaction and then it felt like I know how it feels to physically do that action (stab someone) and I like how it feels then I was getting these urge feelings and it felt like I wanted it and then I was imagining the thoughts again about stabbing someoneI care about multiple times and then It suddenly felt like I was really happy about the thought and almost like I really enjoyed it and realised why evil people enjoy doing these things like I felt what they felt like I’ve discovered a ‘thrill’ feeling of doing that evil thing and I can’t get over it I can’t figure out why it felt like that and now I’m thinking because it felt like I liked it and it felt good I will be curious about being evil or want to be evil to feel that feeling again and it’s really messed up and I don’t know what to do everytime I think about it it feels like there is actually something wrong with me I no longer have anxiety or feel really worried about the thoughts I feel numb and that feeling is really making me feel bad like I can’t live normally now it feels like I am actually evil now and I don’t even know if I have morals or if i would be evil or not. Normally with my thoughts no matter how real it’s felt I’ve managed to convince myself why I had a certain feeling and why it’s not real and why I’m a good person but this time it actually feels like that feeling was from me and I actually felt really happy and enjoyed or got a thrill from the idea of doing that horrible thing like I can’t even say it feels real because I’m thinking it is real I don’t know what to do 🙁🙁I’ve had ocd for a few years but don’t get anxious anymore and this feels like I’m actually bad or would want to do it because of that feeling

rita555

Date posted: 22w

the compulsions and thoughts are consuming me

these days im feeling so bad, I can’t take it anymore, I have thoughts and images I don’t like that just won’t leave me, I feel so heavy, I want to bump my head into a wall until I pass out so I can have a break, I want my brain ti stop working and leave me alone, I can’t exist like this, I’m constantly thinking about this stuff and feeling disturbed, it just won’t leave, what do I do? sorry if this is written so badly but I really need to vent

Adi7

Date posted: 17w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

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Random things as proof I guess

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