- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I don't think I am in the position to tell you what to do or even suggest possible solutions. There is so much I don't know and can't see. The only perspective I can speak from is that of how much harder is for men to deal with depression in general - in most cases we don't even know we are going through something like that. As much as you love him, you need to take care of yourself first. Make sure that you kindly communicate that to him so that he is aware. Sometimes that's what it takes for us to snap out of our dream.
- Date posted
- 5y
It's tough. What you are going through is not easy at all. However - for men shame and sadness is a tricky affair. I am not justifying him. It's just that it's probably hard for him to reach out for help.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yea I get that. But he doesn't do anything. Like I'll ask him to do laundry and he will put it in the washer but not the dryer. Like he's home all day? Wtf. I feel like after 4 months of having to do everything I'm at my breaking point.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey there, I thinks it’s really childish, irresponsible and consumerist behavior on his part. I’m very sorry to hear you have to live like that right now. I can totally understand how you don’t want to break up, but what about co-living, but kind of separately? For example, each of you cooks their own food, does their own laundry, spends their own money. It’s not a question of love, it’s a question of some basic quality of life. You can love him, and even support him, emphatize with him maybe, but after all if he’s willing to go to the bottom, you’re not just expected to go there with him. And maybe he needs to visit his GP at least and ask about depression?
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. That makes a lot of sense. I've been trying to do this as it's easier. Especially because I'm vegetarian and he's not so we already eat different meals. The problem is because of my OCD when he doesn't clean his share. I can only leave it a day or two before I'll do it. I can't stand to look at it. Which I'm working on....
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
hi everyone. i'm terrified about my future with my spouse. we've been fighting a lot recently because they cheated on me on our wedding night... making out with someone else. this really really hurt me. they now want a break because they can't handle my severe anxiety about the situation. i know reading this you're probably like wow that's a real asshole right there and i deserve better. but truly i love my spouse and they're a great person. they're just triggered. i'm afraid the marriage triggered them. i'm afraid they're going to leave me. my ocd is telling me the more i really think about it my intuition is telling me that they will leave me and we won't work it out. and now i feel like im manifesting that on purpose. i'm freaking the fuck out and i feel so lonely and sad.
- Date posted
- 21w
My husband suffers from SEVERE ADHD and he claims that he “forgets” whenever I ask him to do something like clean up after himself or pick up his clothes off the floor. But it’s everyday now and we’ve been together for a year going on 2. We also have a 5 month old and I feel like I’m going crazy worrying about my mental health and taking care of the baby AND still having to come home and worry about him. At this point I’m done telling him anything as he sees anything I say as me “attacking” him rather than me just telling him why I’m upset and that this is now affecting my happiness in this relationship. I no longer feel close or want closeness. I’ve also mentioned this to him and he doesn’t take me seriously. “All this, only because I don’t pick up after myself.” I get stressed very easily over the smallest things. I don’t know if I’m at fault and need to seek help for getting mad over small things or if he’s just not mature enough to own up and be responsible for himself(he’s younger than me). Am I overreacting? I’m just a very clean person and can’t stand that he’s a “I’ll clean it later” type of person and forgets. I just don’t feel I’m getting the support of a mature spouse. I want to lean on him and feel like I can’t do that. Like I have to everything myself. Does anyone else feel like this? PLEASE HELP. I’m reaching my limit and feel like I need to break things off.
- Date posted
- 18w
It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.
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