I've been married for a year. My husband has completely changed. Lost his job. No motivation. Etc. I would rather be miserable with him than without him. But today I'm just frustrated and lost. I've thought about what it would be like to crash my car. Idk I don't want to die. I just want him to get his shit together and idk how to get him to listen because he won't.

FernandoV

Date posted: 5y ago

I don't think I am in the position to tell you what to do or even suggest possible solutions. There is so much I don't know and can't see. The only perspective I can speak from is that of how much harder is for men to deal with depression in general - in most cases we don't even know we are going through something like that. As much as you love him, you need to take care of yourself first. Make sure that you kindly communicate that to him so that he is aware. Sometimes that's what it takes for us to snap out of our dream.

FernandoV

Date posted: 5y ago

It's tough. What you are going through is not easy at all. However - for men shame and sadness is a tricky affair. I am not justifying him. It's just that it's probably hard for him to reach out for help.

lovely5

Date posted: 5y ago

Yea I get that. But he doesn't do anything. Like I'll ask him to do laundry and he will put it in the washer but not the dryer. Like he's home all day? Wtf. I feel like after 4 months of having to do everything I'm at my breaking point.

scaredbunny

Date posted: 5y ago

Hey there, I thinks it’s really childish, irresponsible and consumerist behavior on his part. I’m very sorry to hear you have to live like that right now. I can totally understand how you don’t want to break up, but what about co-living, but kind of separately? For example, each of you cooks their own food, does their own laundry, spends their own money. It’s not a question of love, it’s a question of some basic quality of life. You can love him, and even support him, emphatize with him maybe, but after all if he’s willing to go to the bottom, you’re not just expected to go there with him. And maybe he needs to visit his GP at least and ask about depression?

lovely5

Date posted: 5y ago

Thank you. That makes a lot of sense. I've been trying to do this as it's easier. Especially because I'm vegetarian and he's not so we already eat different meals. The problem is because of my OCD when he doesn't clean his share. I can only leave it a day or two before I'll do it. I can't stand to look at it. Which I'm working on....

stuckonathought

Date posted: 23w ago

I don’t know what I’m meant to do

I’ve recently become unemployed and the journey to finding a new job is honestly unbearable. I struggle with a major lack of self confidence and I don’t believe I’m good at anything nor smart enough for it, so whenever I look at job websites and see different things advertised I panic. Even with what I’ve wanted to do for years, the thought of going out and doing that makes me feel horrendous because I don’t think I’m capable of doing it. And what doesn’t help is the fact I’ve told my parents this and they just scream at me saying I can’t sit around doing nothing every day when that’s already something I don’t want to do. I want a job, I want to do something I enjoy, I like working I do, and once I’m it in I know I’ll enjoy it, but there’s certain things stopping me from going for it. I hate myself over every possible level to the thought of people seeing me everyday is making me panic, I don’t think I’m very intelligent so anything that requires me to do maths or organise numbers or anything like that is out of the question. I’ve worked in hospitality for 7 years, doing shit I despise and I honestly have hated every moment of it so I can’t go back there. It’s all scaring me, all making me feel like I’m just incapable of doing anything right, I genuinely just don’t even want to wake up tomorrow because the thought of living this life for the rest of my life is ridiculous. I don’t want to do it. I don’t have anything I’m good at, there’s nothing I enjoy what the hell am I meant to do with that? I’m honestly so stuck. Everyone keeps saying “beggars can’t be choosers” but this is my fucjing life and I have to do a shit job that makes me want to throw myself off a 30 story building till I’m 70? Fuck no. What kind of life is that? Just so I can make money? And afford bills? And pay to live? wtf I don’t even want to be here so why am I doing that. I don’t enjoy living I a really fucking hate it. And working down the local grocery store is just not gonna make me wanna be here any longer. I really hate it here and now I have to find a job that I’ll hate? I’m so stuck

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 12w ago

I could really use some support

I’ve been trying my best with ERP and just everything that’s going on. I have severe OCD, GAD, PMDD, panic disorder, recently diagnosed ADHD, and currently experiencing a major depressive episode. Apparently. I was taking a break from this app but I really need support right now. My family is honestly really mean and not understanding of what I’m going through. Right now it’s gotten bad to the point I had to withdrawal from my last semester of university. My only support is my boyfriend and he’s now planning to join the military. I won’t be able to talk to him for 3 months and I feel really scared of being alone with all of this. I know I shouldn’t depend on him to begin with but right now I’m at an extremely low point and I feel like I won’t make it alone. There hasn’t been a single day we haven’t texted and talked in 4 years. I feel really scared, but I don’t want to hold him back. You guys, I feel so sad and terrified right now. I don’t want him to go, he’s all I have.

PastSelf25

Date posted: 4w ago

OCD

I feel like the worst kind of person and I am ruining my husband. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to change.

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