lovely5
- Date posted
- 6y
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 6y
I don't think I am in the position to tell you what to do or even suggest possible solutions. There is so much I don't know and can't see. The only perspective I can speak from is that of how much harder is for men to deal with depression in general - in most cases we don't even know we are going through something like that. As much as you love him, you need to take care of yourself first. Make sure that you kindly communicate that to him so that he is aware. Sometimes that's what it takes for us to snap out of our dream.
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 6y
It's tough. What you are going through is not easy at all. However - for men shame and sadness is a tricky affair. I am not justifying him. It's just that it's probably hard for him to reach out for help.
lovely5lovely5
- Date posted
- 6y
Yea I get that. But he doesn't do anything. Like I'll ask him to do laundry and he will put it in the washer but not the dryer. Like he's home all day? Wtf. I feel like after 4 months of having to do everything I'm at my breaking point.
scaredbunnyscaredbunny
- Date posted
- 6y
Hey there, I thinks it’s really childish, irresponsible and consumerist behavior on his part. I’m very sorry to hear you have to live like that right now. I can totally understand how you don’t want to break up, but what about co-living, but kind of separately? For example, each of you cooks their own food, does their own laundry, spends their own money. It’s not a question of love, it’s a question of some basic quality of life. You can love him, and even support him, emphatize with him maybe, but after all if he’s willing to go to the bottom, you’re not just expected to go there with him. And maybe he needs to visit his GP at least and ask about depression?
lovely5lovely5
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you. That makes a lot of sense. I've been trying to do this as it's easier. Especially because I'm vegetarian and he's not so we already eat different meals. The problem is because of my OCD when he doesn't clean his share. I can only leave it a day or two before I'll do it. I can't stand to look at it. Which I'm working on....
Related posts
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 25w
would like a response
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 25w
im scared
my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd
24ozpersepho...
- Date posted
- 19w
I infected my husband with OCD?
TW: death This is my first time posting, but I don’t know what to do. My husband who has never exhibited mental health symptoms before has been showing some OCD symptoms like ruminating (to the point where he can’t fall asleep for hours), asking for reassurance repeatedly, and overthinking in a way that it’s like he’s trying to solve problems by thinking about them a lot, but…they’re not actually real problems?? Far-fetched possibilities? We talk through his anxieties to what I think is resolution, just for him to bring it up again 30 min later. I’ve been in NOCD therapy for a month-ish now, and I’ve improved a lot—especially with the exact things my husband has begun to struggle with. I have not asked for reassurance in weeks. I feel like I infected him. I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to be his therapist or tell him what to do. He is in therapy for anxiety about starting a new job, but honestly, his therapist sucks, and he’s decided to find another one, hopefully, that is trained in ACT. I just feel guilty and helpless. Oh also to make it scarier, before I dated my husband, I was in a relationship with someone who had verrryyy severe OCD, to the point where my OCD seemed inconsequential. I was able to help him a lot, but being with him made my OCD worse because a lot of ocs were normalized. My precious parter ended up taking his own life. I’m just really on edge about this. I don’t want my husband to develop OCD and die.
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