Does anyone else…

@anxiouspancake How would I ever know though? I can’t tell the difference. It scares me for the sake of my little dog who I’m constantly feeling like I’d brutally harm. I hate it so much.

@Anonymous It feels like I’m constantly holding back doing these horrible things. I don’t understand how to tell if it’s real.

@Ellasmama Are you medicated ? I have terrible harm ocd thoughts about loved ones even my daughter. They are life changing and terrifying you may not believe it but you are detached from these thoughts. Hence the word intrusive you not bad your not a monster you have harm ocd for a long time I didn’t even know I had these thoughts other people did ( don’t ask me how it’s not important) and I was judged for them. It wasn’t till I was diagnosed with ocd that I realized I had them in other words the whole time I was unaware I was a useful member of society it’s only when I became self aware that it started to affect me daily coping with the shame or rage or anger if your not medicating you should I have found intense ERP to be the key to being free

@rocky5 The problem is I already did. I went, and I explained this to all of them. They diagnosed me with Harm O, told me I could voluntarily check myself in, but that they can’t really do anything for me other than try meds and send me home. Then they told me to follow up with a psych and go from there.

@Anonymous Good you have a diagnosis. The thoughts are ego dystonic and that means ocd. Everyone has intrusive thoughts but yours are so upsetting that you try to push them away which makes it worse. Call nocd for therapy

@OCDFamily Nocd therapists listen to these issues all day long .

@OCDFamily I am actually already seeing someone here. She’s very kind, but I’m just not seeing any improvement. The thoughts are ego dystonic, but even though I’m horrified by them, I’m still convinced I’ll act on them. Thats what I don’t understand.

@Anonymous It’s like it’s overriding everything about me that I knew was there, and this horrible murderous psychopath took her place. I hate this. I hate being here like this.

@Anonymous Have you started ERP?

@Anonymous - Please recognize that what you're experiencing seems like textbook OCD. If you are seeing a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP, you need to listen to her, do the ERP homework and keep seeing her. Recovery is messy, not linear. At first when you begin seeing your therapist and begin ERP, the symptoms can even get worse than before. This is because the disorder is fighting recovery. Just stick with the program and you'll begin to see improvement. I think many of us are so impatient to get well that if we don't see immediate improvement we sink into despair and begin questioning if we have OCD and maybe we're monsters. We have to keep in mind that, in essence, therapy's goal is to unravel the malware in our brains, and this takes time, hard work and patience. If you're a believer, prayer helps a lot. Also, there's nothing wrong with going on medications that are known to help people with OCD. My therapist told me the majority of her patients are on meds. It doesn't mean you'll always be on them, but many report they can be a huge help early on. Again, to repeat what I wrote, recovery is messy, not linear. It takes time, hard work and patience. Hope this helps.

@Anonymous Thank you!!! That makes me feel a bit better! And honestly - the getting admitted part didn’t bother me in the least - it just was the fact that they would admit me, keep me for three days than send me home no matter what with the meds regardless. I think I may end up taking them, but as far as staying, in my state, they don’t keep you long unless you’re a risk. They don’t have a lot of options other than meds for me so I figured like, why stay unless they can offer me something else, you know? At least I can be in the comfort of my own home 🥹

@Anonymous i really suggest getting admitted even if its just for three days and with meds! in those 3 days u can learn alot with how to cope with these thoughts and urges and why it may be happening, ocd is tricky and sneaky and some days ur gonna feel hopeless but keep on going and when u get ur meds and take them you will notice a difference, not right away but little by little, it wont be easy but i promise it does get better!

@Anonymous I do not think you need to be admitted into anywhere. Psychopaths do not care about their thoughts or feelings. You being like wtf is going on is a sign you don’t like your intrusive thoughts and that you don’t even want to be having them. My suggestion is to first do a breathing exercise. Whenever we get into panic mode we stop breathing correctly and it causes us to spiral even more. Breath and try to respond to your thoughts with sarcasm. This does not make you a bad person. Everyone has intrusive thoughts. My sister is an addict and she says her thoughts out loud and I’m like wow well that makes me feel better about mine. Look up Nathan Peterson on YouTube he has a lot of good content on OCD. I’ve also used instagram to learn more about OCD. Peace from within is a good page to follow!