Username: Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

Opinions/jokes ROCD??

I have been with my partner for about a year and 4 months. My ocd symptoms started in February. Recently, my ocd is making me seem annoyed by everything my partner does… I have a bad problem with forming my opinion off of other random people instead of making my own, possibly fear of perception/upsetting people with an opinion so I have to follow like a sheep. This frustrates my partner. My ocd might latch onto a random dark humour joke he made or an opinion for example about social issues that is different to me where we have to agree to disagree and I end up going searching on mainly TikTok. If I see a comment where some people are against what my bf said I have to go and tell him and it’s almost every day my ocd manages to nitpick something. A lot of the time it’s me setting it off by asking his opinion or something where I can feel my ocd being like “let’s scan for things in this conversation to latch on to 😈” and starting a convo where something could trigger my ocd. He might be playing a video game and says things, for example if he’s shot in the game and gets a little bit annoyed. My ocd will instantly latch onto something. I try to hold it back but I ocd tells me I NEED to tell him off for it. If I bring something up while communicating and my boyfriend asks why I think something is bad, it usually always starts with “well I saw a tiktok/instagram comment-…” and my boyfriend stops me to tell me I’m going off a small group of people’s opinion and I need to be able To form my own opinion and it’s okay for me To have my own opinion. A lot of the time I can’t form an opinion because I’m scared what people think so I resort to looking at random peoples comments on posts. 😞 My ocd convinces me he’s a bad person because he has dark humour. Is all the need to confess my thoughts and tell him off ocd? Is the best thing to do sit with the uncomfortableness? Does anyone relate

Username: LittleducklingLittleduckling

Date posted: 21w ago

Relate to this heavy. Have found Tik Tok to be a huge trigger for people with ROCD. Every time I’m on there I end up comparing my relationship to others, scanning comments for approval or disapproval.

Username: Puddingpigeon Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

@carolinebourg Every time my bf does something my ocd is like “let’s go to tiktok and check this out if ONE person is offended over this joke even though some find it funny that means I need to tell my Boyfriend that the joke is super offensive and bad and he can’t say it!!!

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon Just remember that you are not alone. This is such a common ROCD trigger - it's even happened to me with the guy I'm currently seeing!

Username: Puddingpigeon Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

@maranta With common rocd trigger do you mean jokes and wether people would find them offensive so we need to instantly check people’s opinions?

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon Latching onto any sort of disagreement is very common. The guy I'm seeing worded something in a negative way, and although I knew he didn't mean it that way, my OCD still latched and made me feel awful until I spoke to him about it. But my brain also immediately went to "Oh he said this so that means he's an awful person"

Username: Puddingpigeon Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

@maranta Thankyou for your comments, I’ll try to do the “maybe he’s evil maybe he’s not” and expect anxiety

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon I'm so proud of you! Keep repeating it over and over until the anxiety eases, even if just halfway. If you use the tools in-app, you can create a distress exposure for this exact scenario. That's what I used earlier, and every 2 minutes the app asks you on a scale of 1 to 10, where your distress currently stands. The goal is to decrease it by at least 50%.

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

I ABSOLUTELY relate to this 100%. My first relationship was confessing all the time, because I had no idea how to handle it. Confessing is not the way to go. Even people without OCD get annoyed by their partner sometimes, it's absolutely normal, it's just that our OCD really amplifies the feeling and wants to cause trouble.

Username: Puddingpigeon Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

@maranta I know confessing is mainly ocd but with the jokes my ocd convinces me “ look people without ocd really dislike this joke and find it offensive that means it’s really serious and we need to tell him because it might mean he’s a really bad person!”EVERY time 😭

Username: Puddingpigeon Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

@maranta It tells me if I don’t confess and tell him now he will keep saying it which means he’s an awful evil person 🥹

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon If it's something you genuinely find offensive and not just the OCD latching on, it's not a bad idea to bring it up to him and maybe ask him to not make those jokes around you.

Username: Puddingpigeon Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

@maranta Some jokes I wouldn’t even care about before ocd but it’s latching onto them all now, early in the relationship before ocd I told him a couple of things that I wanted him to stop joking about and he stopped. The jokes ocd is latching onto aren’t even about me😭

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon That seems like a compulsion then. Try telling yourself "Maybe these jokes DO mean that my boyfriend is an evil person. I don't know, but I will sit with the uncertainty."

Username: Puddingpigeon Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

@maranta If my bf makes a joke that my OCD latches to, I’ll immediately go on something like TikTok and search up the joke. I will see a vid with the same joke and go to comments and say there were 50 comments. Say 40 found it funny and 10 found it weird and didn’t like it. My ocd will ONLY focus on the people saying it’s weird and not the people finding it funny. Even if there was ONE comment saying the joke is weird my ocd would put full attention on it

Username: Puddingpigeon Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

@maranta Also I will try and do that even though having to say that my bf might be evil will cause me a lot of anxiety. Would it be normal to feel anxiety from it but just sit with it

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon Yes! That's exactly what an exposure should do to you. Make you uncomfortable, spike your anxiety, but you sit with that, accept it, let it pass. I just did an exposure myself for the relationship I am pursuing. I said to myself out loud: "Maybe I don't have feelings for him. I will accept this uncertainty and continue on with my day."

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon You say it over and over again, out loud, until the distress goes down or you just get bored.

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon I completely relate to this. I'll do something like see a YouTube short, like it, then open the comments and read negative comments about said video - and then I will unlike the video. I am also very swayed by others' opinions.

Username: Puddingpigeon Puddingpigeon

Date posted: 21w ago

@maranta Thankyou I will try it!! Also does the fact I only end up focusing on the people finding the joke weird rather than the people finding it funny seem like ocd making it a bigger problem than it is like “ oh my god 4 out of 30 people in this comment section found the joke offensive that means my bf is an awful person!”

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon And try your best to not give in to the compulsion of going to TikTok after you are triggered! 💛

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon It seems to me that that is the case, I do this as well! You are not alone.

Username: marantamaranta

Date posted: 21w ago

@Puddingpigeon OCD is such a bully. It will only focus on the negative aspects of any situation. But you are not defined by your OCD!

Username: JennyJ

Date posted: 3y ago

Hello dear friends. I hadn't been on this app for a while, I've been getting by. Today I just need to vent and to feel validated and understood. I have OCD, I consider myself in permanent recovery. It is an everyday job. I am ina relationship with a wonderful guy. I deeply love and care about him, but he doesn't understand anything about OCD. I've explained it to him a million times. I've directed him to online resources. I've talked him through what to do to help me get out of a loop without giving me reassurance. And yet, he never knows what to say or do when an episode appears. It is tiring to pull myself out of the loop and then having yo explain to him what just happened to me, over and over again. I think, in general, he lacks empathy for other people's feelings, but, when it comes to me, I can see that he tries but achieves nothing. I think I don't have ROCD, I have diverse thoughts. But the last few weeks this thought got into my mind: what if he has met someone else and they are texting each other and flirting and he's gonna leave me? (He left his girl to start a new relationship with me). And he are apart due to the covid-19 epidemic, so we didn't see each other almost at all during last year. Of course, I had been able to keep this particular thought to myself, buy yesterday, it just came out of my mind after him not picking up the phone. He was in shock. He reacted defensively (which I completely understand), replied that he had nothing to explain to me as to why he couldn't answer the phone when I called him and that we was surprised that I asked him such a thing (if the reason why he didn't answer me was that he was talking to someone else). I knew it was just an OCD thought of mine, but I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer. Of course, I apologized to him and had to explain it had been an OCD thought. He was supporting and understanding and told me everything was ok and to forget about it. This morning I feel sad that he couldn't recognize this for what it was despite all the explaining I have done. I have dealt with my ocd on my own, despite being in a relationship. I just needed to vent and would like to read your thoughts about this whole thing. Thank you in advance for reading and replying.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone relate (ROCD)

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is an absolute angel. All throughout the relationship I would have nightmares and intrusive thoughts “what if he leaves/cheats”. And he would reassure me and treat me like the world revolves around me. Lately I’m realizing this was actually ocd and not anxiety as I had previously thought. I would get paranoid if he didn’t check his messages for a couple hours, I’d get anxious if I saw an ambulance heading toward his street while I was driving, I would ask for reassurance that he loved me constantly. Bear in mind, I have no reason to have these fears. My boyfriend is my best friend and has supported me through thick and thin and he’s amazing. One time a couple months ago I was being a bit snappy with him one night and I had the thought “only people who don’t like their partners are snappy with them” and it just stuck. Now I struggle with intrusive thoughts about my own feelings, do I love him, do I miss him enough, is my relationship going to end because this couple on social media broke up. I could deal with the thoughts about his feelings because he is so so good about making me feel loved but now I’m stuck in this constant guilt loop where I question my relationship for no reason then get anxious and feel guilty for even thinking that way because I think I’m manifesting it. Was wondering if anybody else in a healthy long term relationship has had this happen to them and how you talk yourself down :(

Relationship OCD

Username: lollypop48

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD

Does anyone else’s OCD take things and run with them? For example, my boyfriend got annoyed with me recently and responded kind of rudely to a question I asked him. I told him that wasn’t fair and he agreed and apologized immediately. But now I keep ruminating on it that maybe this is just him revealing his true self now that we’ve been together for a while. Maybe the real him is aggressive and he’s going to snap at me in the future and I’m going to be stuck in a relationship that is unhealthy! Also I’m fearing everyone reading this won’t believe me that my relationship is good and they’ll be judging me saying it’s not OCD. Struggling right now.

Relationship OCD

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Opinions/jokes ROCD??

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