ROCD flare up

Hi everyone, I’m new here! I have struggled with OCD on and off for many years and all different flavors (SOOCD, POCD, Pure OCD). I am in a happy relationship of 2.5 years and feel supported and loved by my partner. We have been wanting to move in together and now that we are officially going forward with it, I’m suffering from extreme ROCD, at least I think it is. Out of nowhere I just feel absolute fear around moving in together, thinking that it’s going to ruin my life and our relationship. While he is normally someone who comforts me and I now find him to be a big trigger of mine, as every text and “I love you” now triggers thoughts that he might not be the one or that I am deceiving him. I’m finding it so difficult not to talk to him about it. What I think is my OCD keeps telling me I should not move in with him, break up, and move back home, even though I don’t want that. The hardest part of this is wondering if it’s OCD or my gut. I’m even terrified to post here because I’m worried someone will tell me I should break up with him. I feel so tired and depressed. I’m having trouble doing my job, enjoying things, and eating the past couple days. It’s really just popped up.

Username: Ghostdog Ghostdog

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20w ago

I was terrified of falling in love with my girlfriend. Then, I was terrified of us moving in together. I really freaked out on our honeymoon, about what the heck did I just do? Then came the kids,OMG!! We have been happily married for 20 years. Yes it scary. However, it’s totally awesome as well.

Username: Mr. BaldbasticMr. Baldbastic

Date posted: 20w ago

Bro, I've been in a good relationship for 12 years. And I ended up making a new online friend and my new online friend reminded me of the time she told other women I had a nice voice and they like flocked to the voice channel (I took the compliment in stride then).. But upon the reminder my overactive mind went "What if?". From then on I was overanalyzing everything. Mind you the most flirty thing she said was the nice voice thing. And maybe the "who am I gonna contact if I miss you" (this is in regards to me taking a hiatus due to health stuff). OCD wants to blur the lines of what's flirty and what's not. I told the friend cause I overanalyzed something she said and felt like my relationship was being encroached. And I told my girl who has been with me through all of the OCD battles. At first they were both understandably defensive. One was defensive over the over analyzed comment, then I told her about OCD and then said damn I guess the friendship is over.. then stopped herself and said "You know what I'ma treat you like a project." Then I opened up to her about the struggles about it. And my girl was hurt at first, took 5 minutes then came back to me and allowed me to speak. Took everything in stride. Also a couple of days before all this she asked if my girl thought it was okay if I talked about my medical issues (kidney) and she was talking about her womanly medical issues. So it appears like she has that respect. So like my other OCDs I'm trying to push through it until my mind goes okay we can survive this. I have way too much to lose. We built and survived a lot. With the new friend sometimes it's anxiety ridden cause OCD is looking wayyyyy too much into shit. Which the anxiety eventually subsides sometimes as we talk (last night we had a solid friendly talk after a anxiety riddled day for me and it seemed like the typical friend talk...OCD wants to attack this.) Plus we're still in that beggining feel out stage as friends. OCD attacks the things that you love right? For me relationships, my hobbies, my health. Living in the land of uncertainty sucks when your body and/or medications fuel the consistent anxiety. But after a few weeks/months my body gets used to whatever routine it took. New themes suckkkkkkkkk.

Username: Ghostdog Ghostdog

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20w ago

@Mr. Baldbastic Yes I’m familiar with theme hoping as well. Be careful with confessing as well. OCD feed off of that

Username: LittleducklingLittleduckling

Date posted: 20w ago

@Ghostdog Brought tears to my eyes ❤️

Username: puzzlesandknittingpuzzlesandkn...

Date posted: 21w ago

Hey Little Ducking omg you don’t know how much I relate to this situation going through an incredibly similar thing. Also thinking about moving in, but it completely has stalled me at the same time. I love my partner and want to see it through with her but I’m having severe doubts with this ocd stuff. I’m trying to be patient with myself since I have a lot of other things going on in my life too and change makes my ocd worse not sure about you. But I started to do at least 10 uninterrupted minutes of ERP today and I already feel a little bit of pressure off. Also when I am feeling sick ocd gets worse so just learning your triggers and working through erp is the main thing. You got this! It feels good and yuck that we are both going through this, we can do it!

Username: LittleducklingLittleduckling

Date posted: 21w ago

@puzzlesandknitting thank you!! ❤️

Username: LlesherLlesher

Date posted: 21w ago

Hi- I just wanted to say I am experiencing a very similar thing and it is debilitating. You are not alone

Username: LittleducklingLittleduckling

Date posted: 21w ago

@Llesher Thank you ❤️

Username: ashxfire19

Date posted: 2y ago

Is this ROCD?

Hi all, I just joined this app today after finding its recommendation on reddit so bear with me. The past three weeks of my life has been a living hell. Out of nowhere, I started obsessing about if I need to leave my partner. So let me just say, I love my partner so much, we’ve been together for 1.5 years. The thoughts about leaving him are eating me up and pulling me apart. For three weeks straight now from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep, all I can think about is how I feel like I have to break up with my boyfriend even though I don’t want to. Nothings changed in our relationship but these thoughts have sent me into a spiral. I’ll spend hours reading articles about staying together and breaking up, having multiple crying meltdowns a day about the thought of losing him and that I don’t love him anymore, and feel like I can’t make this anxiety go away unless we break up (AND I DONT WANT TO AT ALL.) This has given my physical symptoms of nausea, chest ache, stomach issues, and mental symptoms of a pit in my stomach, constant feeling of dread, obsessive thoughts that I can’t stop thinking, and the guilt is unimaginable. I love him and I can’t imagine being with someone else. I don’t know what to do anymore. Is this ROCD or am I a bad partner?

Relationship OCD

Username: lilbill

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD

My rocd flared up around the time my girlfriend and i were starting the process of getting an apartment. At the start, I was very excited and so happy to be moving together. then my mind kept thinking “she’s not going to let you have any say in anything, she doesn’t want you decorating, you guys don’t like the same things” and i started to believe that, which eventually led to me saying all that. and from there on, it gradually got worse. I started having thoughts like “do i even love her? am i in love with her? having i been faking it this entire time? do i have feelings for anymore? etc” and then i would have thoughts of breaking up and i’d get so anxious. now i wake up every morning thinking “i don’t love her, i don’t want to be in a relationship with her” and i get sooooo anxious. i know i love her, i know i don’t want to break up with her, i know the apartment is something i genuinely want, i just can’t feel any of it right now. every time i think of breaking up, i try to imagine my life without her and it doesn’t seem right. i genuinely can’t imagine not being with her. my feelings and thoughts before all this were very much happy and healthy, like i was smitten but now my thoughts affect me everyday, they’re all i think about. it’s all i research, i talk about it too much to other people, the thoughts are making me feel like i’m faking everything. does anyone have tips. i just want to feel like i used to feel

Relationship OCD

Username: BreaG

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD - help

I believe I (currently) am experiencing ROCD. Growing up as a child, I was always double checking the door was locked, wouldn’t walk on cracks, had to count to step. I eventually grew out of it. But I feel it has grown into ROCD. I currently have a year long relationship with a person I love and has treated me very well. I have plans to move in with him and I went job seeking at his house (we are long distance) last weekend. I had anxiety the entire time. I kept telling myself, I’m scared, what if this doesn’t work, what if this is telling me to break free of the relationship, what if I’m not attracted to him, and I was avoidant because I was so scared to feel the anxiety around/with him and question it all again. Once the anxiety would settle I would cry to him about it and tell him I’m just scared and everything is caving in. But is this normal in ROCD? I found myself googling everything the weeks leading up to me going. I once told him to give me space (he is very affectionate and I am not) and very selfless when it comes to calls/texts. PLUS - long distance adds to that. With everything, I started googling it all nonstop for days and feared we aren’t meant for each other. Now when he calls I feel anxious because I don’t want to feel that “trapped” feeling of not having space again and I googled how to find common and reasonable communication with long distance. UGH just everything is scaring me and I fear my obsessiveness over it is making it worse.

Relationship OCD

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ROCD flare up

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