Does anyone else struggle with a fear of sex/sex avoidance? I’m 23 and have dated quite a bit yet when it comes to having sex, I always pull the brakes before it can happen. I’m too scared of the intrusive thoughts and that having sex would confirm my fears. It’s ruining my ability to have meaningful romantic relationships. I feel like I’m completely alone in this. :// It’s not normal to avoid sex like I do.
I can definitely understand this ❤️ I have a fear of pregnancy which was really strong when I started dating my boyfriend (of two years thus far) even though we weren’t even doing anything yet. It went so far as being scared of the city bus (if I was wearing a skirt or non-denim shorts) or a bathroom that other men/people with those bodily functions use. This is still something that I am working through and I am incredibly grateful that my boyfriend is the person he is because he helped calm me down and take everything slowly without making me feel bad. My fear of pregnancy is slowlyyyy starting to lessen, and I owe a lot of that to him as I feel safe enough that I don’t have to worry about dealing with something on my own/the pains that come with such an intense time period, however, I still start to “look forward” to my period coming because my brain is like “….just in case” 😭. All I know is that you’re not alone in this, it can and will get better, and you will have a lovely and meaningful relationship one day- you absolutely deserve it 💕
@gabriellalalala Thank you <3 For me it’s the fear of realising that I’m not attracted to my partner and then the fear of pregnancy and STDs. :// I thought I was asexual for a while until I came off my SSRIs.
Im the same i have never really been into sex it just doesnt interest me never has done maybe when i was a teenager but the older you get you learn its more about spending time with someone than the physical side of it
I have different kinds of fears around it and it’s probably more common than we know and nuanced with each person. It’s very hard when we don’t want to have the fear or feel isolated or like an alien bc of it
Could we talk?
@Neytiri Yeah I’m cool to talk ^^
@Pink Dinosaur Do u have discord?
@Pink Dinosaur I sent u a request
@Neytiri Hi I’m dealing with something similar right now and would love the support!!
Same
After being sexually assaulted I developed a fear of sex and as a protection my OCD became obsessed with STDs and I’ve been tested a million times for everything they will test me for (they strongly recommended against testing me for herpes because everyone has it in some form and if you’re not showing symptoms and using protection it is near impossible to pass on so it doesn’t matter until you want to settle down and there is a big stigma) I’ve always come back clean, even for the random shit I googled like mycoplasma that I begged to be to be tested for. I still freak out. And now since I am starting to believe I am ok I don’t want to have sex with someone else Incase they infect me (even though if we use condoms and they get the routine test for HIV, Hep, Syphillis, Gonnorhea , and Chlymidia) the odds are slim. What do I do!!! And I agonize over whether I should disclose I have HPV even though my gyno says no because everyone has it (literally the CDC says that) and it goes away on its own almost always and dude to the lack of education it would do more harm than good. I think I am just finding reasons to avoid intimacy at this point and my OCD is making me intensely fearful about my sexual health in a very painful way to distract me, and I can’t deal. I’d rather just confront my issues.
Does anyone else who’s 20+ and never seriously dated before afraid that this messed up your love life forever? Because I used to look forward to getting to know a guy romantically one day and feeling comfortable enough to let them be around me in that way and now I’m just afraid that if I ever get into a relationship I’m not going to like it and it’s just gonna confirm everything I’m afraid of :/
I’m freaking out so bad I have so so so many struggles and fears around intimacy with my boyfriend that it truly feels like I don’t want to have sex with him but I do I want to so badly and I want to enjoy things with him so much. But yet I can only enjoy it when I really really focus on it so doesn’t that mean I’m forcing it??? Like if I just try to do it without thinking about everything I won’t be able to enjoy it so does that mean I’ll never be able to truly let go of that bc I don’t actually enjoy it? I don’t want to have sex with a girl not at all and I don’t want anyone else to be with my partner like that but me. So why can’t I enjoy it freely? Like if I don’t focus on it I won’t even want to. I hate myself , I feel like a monster and like there’s something wrong with me.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
