Hi there everyone, I’m really struggling with obsessive thoughts over my relationship with my girlfriend. Everything was going so well for the first couple months and one day I started doubting - ever since then I’ve been trying to combat thoughts that our relationship is doomed to fail. I used to love my girlfriend, now I keep getting intrusive anxious thoughts about breaking up with her and scrutinising her appearance. I spent a few years struggling before with HOCD but I’m free of that now, now I feel I’m heading into a spiral of obsession over whether on not this relationship is right. I don’t want my girlfriend to suffer and loose faith in me whilst I act all weird around her. How do I stay present to her and cope through it? Thanks

Something I find that helps me rationalize my ROCD - is comparing my thoughts vs behaviors. I’ll have horrible thoughts about just ending it with my boyfriend, cheating, etc - but then none of these ever come to fruition. In fact, they are the complete opposite of the true affection I feel and the way I show my love through actions. It makes me realize the thoughts are crap. When they pop up, I try to have the “oh here we go again” detached mentality, instead of having a full anxious reaction. Hope this helps. :-)

Have you talked to her about it? I find that I only voice about 1% of the junk that OCD puts in my head and because of that I often assume my husband is more aware of how its affecting our relationship than he actually is. You don't need to give specifics, just give her a heads up that if you're acting weirdly it's not something she is doing. As for your side of things all you can do is learn how to accept the discomfort and realise that it's only affecting you so badly because it's the opposite of what you actually feel and value.

Soooo helpful folks thanks