Anxious about texts

I have a friend who I know is a bad texter, she usually takes days/weeks to text her other friends, but she told me she messages me the most. I really like her and I know she likes me but it’s a complex situation. She has replied to me today etc., but I can’t help but be anxious that she’s mad at me/wants to get rid of me etc. We last spoke on a video call on Saturday for almost five hours and we messaged a lot more that day too - don’t get me wrong, her responses aren’t always quick, but she seemed more enthusiastic. Yesterday, she was out and didn’t message but she did send me photos of her day out. Today, she responded to my morning message asking how she is with “fine, you?” She hasn’t seemed very enthusiastic with her messages today, and her responses aren’t the quickest. She has answered my questions questions when I asked for advice, and when I asked when I should give her the things she asked for, she said “I dunno 🤷‍♀️ when we’re both free. And if your parents are ok”. I can’t help but worry that she’s mad at me etc. Everyone I’ve asked said that her messages are fine, she just might be tired/have things going on and that she’s not mad at me. I can’t help but spiral though. I tend to spiral with messages very often, I create scenarios/overanalyse tones and panic. I just know that I won’t stop panicking until she calls me but I worry she hates me now. What do I do? Am I overthinking?

Username: MalisimoMalisimo

Date posted: 17w ago

You are just Catastrophizing. Basically making up some situation in your head that is a worst case scenario, then ruminating on the situation. It goes from being a very unlikely outcome to something you feel like is almost certainly happening. You are choosing to do this though. Simply stop trying to control everything and relax. Everything in life is not a catastrophe.

Username: yerbloosyerbloos

Date posted: 17w ago

@Malisimo Thank you, I appreciate you saying this, I’ll do my best to stop trying to control things 🥰

Username: Courage2ContinueCourage2Cont...

Date posted: 17w ago

Sooo… I know this is really vulnerable and putting yourself out there a bit, but have you thought about telling her, “hey, I keep telling myself this story in my head that I must have done something to upset you. I’m not going to ask for reassurance, but I just want to make sure that if I have done anything to upset you, if there is a way that I can help make it feel safer for you to talk about it with me, I want to make sure I’m doing those things, and was wondering if you had any feedback for me? If it’s something else too, and you’re just not ready to talk about it, I’ll respect that too, things just seem off and I wanted to make sure everything is okay.”

Username: yerbloosyerbloos

Date posted: 17w ago

@Courage2Continue Thank you, I’ll give it a go! I appreciate your advice, I’ll do it 🥰

Username: melody melody

Date posted: 17w ago

No I'm a terrible texter sometimes too Sometimes I'm just so mentally exhausted and I can't type what I want to someone just immediately even, because I've thought about it and the response is all in my head But I think she's not mad at you though

Username: yerbloosyerbloos

Date posted: 17w ago

@melody That makes a lot of sense, thank you so much! 🥰

Username: Dev

Date posted: 6y ago

I’ve been diagnosed with OCD but I don’t have these intrusive thoughts like everyone else...so I’m convincing myself I don’t really have OCD I struggle I guess with rOCD (and more)...I guess I always check to see if a person texted me back. I blow up the persons phone until they respond. I use to have it really bad where I had so much anxiety if I didn’t do it and so much anxiety if I did. When guys leave me....I freak out and have damn near a heart attack from panicking so much. And once I get this thought in my head whether it’s “you should’ve said this” or “he probably lied to you when he said this” or whatever there’s this feeling in my body. It’s like an uncomfortable negative vibe and that thought becomes priority. I have to do it. I have to text them and it’s hard to think of anything else. And when I do it doesn’t stop so i shouldn’t give in but sometimes I do. And if I get over that thought later another might replace it and it starts again. Anybody else feel this way...?

Username: Jadeon

Date posted: 47w ago

Help please

Does anyone else have mental rituals to check whether your friends still have u on social media and if they don’t then they hate you? I have to check multiple times a day that they still follow me , even people I haven’t spoke to in years . Today one unadded me from a private story even though I haven’t spoke in over 2 years but now it’s triggered me and made me feel like they hate me and I’ve done something wrong. Could anyone offer advice on how to feel in a situation like this. Like should I be panicked and concerned? Thanks

Young adults with OCD

Username: OCDeeznutzzz

Date posted: 35w ago

Overthinking. Could use support

Today my friend was texting me about her sleep disorder and I felt bad because I literally had nothing to say about it, but I didn’t wanna come off as a bitch so I just told her that it’s not her fault that she feels that way and I asked her if there was any medicine that could help. Then because I didn’t have empathy in that moment, I am worried that the only reason why I show people care and try to do nice things for people is because I want to be seen as a good person. Think it was because I’ve been through a lot of stuff and I would never wanna make anyone feel how my mom made me feel but now not so sure.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Anxious about texts

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community