What if I am what my OCD says? What if I am deep down a horrible monster and my ocd has been right all along and I’ve just been trying to fight it and deny that I am what it says?
You are not what your OCD says. People with OCD are commonly what they fear most, by you coming on here and saying the words “horrible monster”, is you indirectly acknowledging how wrong the OCD is. You wouldn’t be uncomfortable by the feeling, or fighting it. You’d just be it. The anxiety we get with OCD is proof of genuine humanity, the fear and discomfort about those thoughts.
Tell yourself, “maybe, but I need to focus on the moment” It’s not you saying you are a monster or you are ok with being one, it’s just accepting the possibility (even if it’s 0.001% chance of it being true) and moving on with life because you shouldn’t be ruled by OCD and it’s tricks
Your conscious is telling you what you will be if you act on those thoughts. Not that you are. Your moral compass is doing what it supposed to do. I would say thank you to it, for keeping me inline.
Horrible monsters, as you said, aren't scared of hurting other people. I read somewhere that people with OCD are actually among the most empathic and kind people there are because if your worst fears is causing harm to others then you definitely care a lot about them. You got this ❤️
Thank you guys, it means more than you could imagine🩵
Don't worry, I've been there I know how it feels. Learning about OCD saved my life actually because WE ARE NOT OUR THOUGHTS. You got this, we got this 💓.
The subject of OCD matters to the sufferer because it feels like confirmation that they are fundamentally unlovable and unwanted—as if even existence itself doesn’t want them. They feel like an error, carrying a deep sense of guilt and shame, as if they were inherently wrong. They suffer from low self-esteem and a deep internalized shame, because long ago, they were fragmented and learned a pattern of fundamental distrust—especially self-distrust. But the real trouble doesn’t come from the content of the most vile or taboo thoughts. It comes from the fact that the sufferer lacks self-love. That’s why, when you begin to walk the road to recovery, you’re taught unconditional self-acceptance—because that’s what all sufferers of OCD have in common: if you aren’t 100% sure, if there isn’t absolute certainty, the doubt will continue to attack you and your core values. It will make you doubt everything—even your own aversion to the thoughts. You have to relearn how to trust yourself—not because you accept that you might become a murderer someday—but because you enter a deep state of acceptance about who you truly are. It’s not about becoming a monster at all. It’s about making peace with what lies at the root of the fear. Making peace with the guilt. With the shame. Making peace with yourself and the person you fear you might be. Because that fear is not rooted in reality. It’s not rooted in any true desire to act. It’s rooted in your identity—specifically, in what might threaten it. That’s what confirms the belief that you are fundamentally wrong. And OCD fuels that belief by using intrusive taboo thoughts to attack your very sense of self. But then I wonder: let’s say, for example, someone fears being or becoming a sexually dangerous person—how could that person practice unconditional self-acceptance? I would never accept myself if I were to harm anyone—the thought alone makes me want to cry. I know it’s not about whether or not someone acts on the thought. It’s about the core fear underneath it. So how do you accept yourself when the thoughts—and the feelings around them—feel so completely unacceptable ?
I'm doing ERP to beat my 3.5 long POCD with groinal responses. This implies walking near kids and trying to loosen up my hyperfixation on groinal responses (not caring about what I feel there). Obviously ERP is distressing. In fact, being scared is probably a good sign in this context, because it means I'm doing my exposures correctly. However, what's much more scary is that in all of these years of OCD there were countless times when I experienced actual muscle contractions/retractions in groinal area. And I can't tell if all of those were accidents. Sure, I don't want to do it (except if I'm relaxing muscles in order to avoid groinal sensations), but was it really an accident? And that's what is destroying me. I'm actively having those feelings near poor kids, even though I always believed myself to be a good person. Now there's no turning back. And I'm turning 18 in two weeks. How can I be enthusiastic about anything when I know that my OCD turned me into an actual monster. I want to continue ERP, but I can't imagine myself living on happily even if I somehow cure OCD
What is the solution for ocd what if question?
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