Are these compulsions?

No I'm not asking for reassurance (though to be honest maybe I am) I'm trying to understand if what I'm doing are compulsions and if they are I will try to keep them at bay. 1. I repeatedly say words like "Stop!" "No!" And "I'd never do X and so" answering my thoughts so they stop 2. I ruminate and review every interaction I have going over my actions and the reason I did them and to be honest my mind just goes up trying to convince me what I did was bad and everyone just hates me 3. I count up to 4 and repeat. 4. I have tics. I jolt. Spasm put my arms up in a defensive position and even push the air when the stress gets to a breaking point. As well I hug myself I feel comfort in that. 5. I avoid triggers specially if I feel the impending doom from them. Funnily enough sometimes I do stare at the trigger just to make sure nothing bad is going to happen.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

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Viny

Date posted: 1y

Welp. I'm screwed lol I thought I was doing good . Yeah time to do erp

Viny

Date posted: 1y

My themes vary a lot and honestly it leaves me confused. Recently I had a lot of inappropriate thoughts with a good friend of mine who I really like. He's like a brother to me he has been helping me with my mental health and having my OCD target him feels so so wrong.

Viny

Date posted: 1y

@Viny And honestly I had to write this twice because it give me a trigger lol

Viny

Date posted: 1y

@Jam&Butterfly I try to remind me about that. I can deal with it but honestly I don't like it one bit to have my friends as the targets specially when it's s friend that I value a lot.

Viny

Date posted: 1y

@Jam&Butterfly - I gotta do all the steps

Nica

Date posted: 1y

Yes, they’re all compulsions.

Viny

Date posted: 1y

Damn. I will have to try my best to not do them

MatiasP99

Date posted: 1y

Yup those are all compulsions. I do the exact same things and it’s taken me a bit to realize that they weren’t helping but just alleviating the anxiety for a bit. ERP and my medication is definitely helping me to not do these things do look into it.

Viny

Date posted: 1y

Dude, I posted this because I just woke up with a damn horrendous intrusive thought suggesting a romantic/sexual connection with a really good friend of mine who has helped me a lot through this mental health journey I'm going through, I really like him and consider him a brother, and honestly it disgusts me so much that these thoughts would target not only him but my other friends as well I hate it. I did everything from the list today and it honestly didn't help until I remembered to do ERP

MatiasP99

Date posted: 1y

@Viny Yeah I get yah my man. I know what it’s like. Mine is mostly harm related towards my parents and it’s a struggle. Same compulsions but different topic. In the end OCD will target the things or people we love the most. Hang in there, it does get better. Sorry if my post made it sound like I didn’t understand what you were saying 😊

Viny

Date posted: 1y

@MatiasP99 - no you were loud and clear, I just felt like explaining a bit more because honestly this destroyed my day lol. But thanks yeah I do end up having harm thoughts too mostly about harming myself it's tough

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