IM FUCKING SCARED

@vaIentine Yeah cause I keep thinking if I was attracted to the character that looked like a kid but is and is not a kid at the same time it makes my head spin around and I can’t sleep. And I’m trapped thinking am I a bad person but know I really don’t want to be physically attracted to a character like that and I was never proud and never wanted to!!

@1000anonymous1000 maybe you were, there is that real chance that you were with that being said, there is absolutely nothing you can do to find out for sure. there is no way you can be 1000000% certain. you must learn to lean into this uncertainty, despite how absolutely uncomfortable it may be. you CAN do this. ocd is a monster, but you can get through this.

@vaIentine So even if I was I’m still not a monster???!! Cause I don’t like the fact that I was😭 makes me feel like a creep

@vaIentine Cause I think I was attracted to the Body😭 and the character looked like a kid and now I realized like isn’t that a child🥲?!!!! And I feel so gross and ashamed and I want to throw up

@1000anonymous1000 remember, i can’t give you the answer you want because i don’t know the answer. that’s the thing, i can’t give you the answer with certainty because certainly isn’t possible in every situation i promise you can get through this i truly don’t know the answer, you could of very well felt attraction, you could of not, there’s no way to get the answer

@vaIentine What if I thought the character was hot😭 I’m crying right now if you see my old post and comment of anime trigger you know why😭

@1000anonymous1000 And what if you didnt? Really, there is not answer to this question, you maybe did maybe didnt, noone knows. Even if you did then so what? What can you do about it now?

@Delirium I can become better but it still makes me feel gross cause the character is basically a child!!!

@1000anonymous1000 There is nothing you can do,to be honest. You can only accept that there is a possibility that you thought about it and you cant change it. You can never be sure about anything, you have to let go, your thinking about it wont change the past, neither will it help you with your distress. Even if you did then there is nothing you can do to change this fact, you have to accept that, thats the only option to get better. You're going to destroy yourself if you keep ruminating about it

@Delirium Even if it’s bad as think a anime character with a child body is hot but I really don’t want to think like that😭 I’m sorry if I sound like a creep

@1000anonymous1000 Sometimes there are just things out of your control, and your thoughts are one of these things, sometimes we get thoughts that we dont like and we cant do anything about them. You really should try accepting these thoughts, to not ruminate about them that much. For me, the thing that helped was telling myself that I dont have control over certain things, and thats fine. The process of accepting your thoughts and do not engage with them is really hard, but the effect is worth it

@Delirium Also sorry for my bad English, Im still learning it

@Delirium Even if it was true??

@1000anonymous1000 Even if it was true, because its still outside of your control

@Delirium Because it’s in the past?

@1000anonymous1000 Exactly

@Delirium Even if it was true and I did think the characters body was hot but I really don’t want to

@1000anonymous1000 I dont think that there is a scenario where you can do otherwisly, especially because it was just a thought

@Delirium What if it wasn’t just a thought?

@1000anonymous1000 What if it was? Still, past is past, you cant change it, you cant control it, no matter what thing you did, felt or thinked about, you cant change it. If it wasnt just a thought then it wasnt just a thought, thats it, you still cant do anything about it, you cant unfeel or unthink something. You have no control over it, and no matter with that scenario you would come with to me, its still in the past and you cant change it, its really time to move on

@Delirium Even if I kind of was a creep but I don’t think I was😭 I hope not but I’m changing and that’s all that should matter right?

@1000anonymous1000 Exactly

@Delirium Even if I seemed like a creep most people actually all people wouldn’t expect me wanting to change

@1000anonymous1000 As I said, there is no scenario in which I would change my mind. It looks like you need complete reassurance that you have the right to let go, and I dont want to give it since it can only make you spiral more. You should accept (by that I mean at least trying to do this) that there is a milions of possibilities and you can never be sure about anything. I cant give you 100% reassurance, because I myself dont know for sure, and thats fine.

@Delirium But I’m still a good person?

@1000anonymous1000 I dont know, but I know that searching for reassurance can only worse your mental state

@Delirium I’m a good person tho right? Cause I mean I don’t want too

@1000anonymous1000 As I said, you cannot be sure about anything. Also Im just a random person on the internet, I dont know you and I have no idea if you are a good person or not

@Delirium True but I believe I still am :)

@Delirium Because I know I feel very ashamed

@1000anonymous1000 Im glad!!

@Delirium Exactly even if I seemed very weird I realized what I thought was pretty sketchy and I never think about it again