First time posting, new to OCD, tips?

In May I started having what I’d later come to suspect as OCD. I started worrying about things that people around me told me I didn’t need to worry about. I started deeply ruminating on these possible events that I thought could ruin my life. I sent texts to people I had known years earlier apologizing and making sure I didn’t do anything wrong, much to their confusion. Also to my confusion, I knew deep down that I didn’t need to worry about these things, I laughed about it with friends, but I also didn’t know. The big mistakes I had made turned into things that could destroy my future. I got my dream job and to me, it awakened the OCD symptoms that started out of nowhere for me in May. I started to worry about being cancelled and losing my job, and having people that I didn’t even know judge me for things I regret. I identified my main symptoms as real-event OCD. I hoped it would pass but it didn’t. Even posting here worries me. I’d get over one event, and another would pop up. I’d get over another event and I’d go back to the event I’d gotten over— it never ended. I decided last week that I wanted to get formally diagnosed and begin therapy. And it’s almost like my brain tuned it up another level when I decided that. I think I’m starting to get false memories, and I’m only saying think, because I’m still typing this wondering if I did these things. I haven’t done the work to find a therapist or doctor because I’ve been so weighed down these past few days, it’s been impacting my sleep and job performance and it just feels like a spiral I’ve never experienced before. I’m writing this I guess to see if these things I’m feeling are normal, and if this community has any tips. Also don’t want to be that person who self-diagnoses, it just feels so strongly like OCD and I am seeking the real diagnosis. TLDR: Got OCD symptoms out of nowhere and it got progressively worse over a few months. Is that normal and what tips are there before treatment?

blondeddd

Date posted: 42w

you aren’t alone, mines developed pretty suddenly too. ours sounds pretty similar in the way that it latches on to different events.

garlicgirl

Date posted: 42w

growing up, I had OCD tendencies when I had anxiety attacks (I often felt guilty for "pretending to have OCD") in hindsight, I may have always had it, I remember thought spirals from my teen years that likely were OCD flare ups. However, at 21, full blown OCD hit me like a truck and I had no idea. I just felt absolutely bonkers questioning so many things and it felt like my thoughts would never stop, even in my sleep. then last month I watched a video on someone's experience with OCD and it all just clicked. I definitely feel comforted by having an answer, but im also constantly wondering what is really me and what is OCD, which i guess is the OCD haha. I don't have advice really, I just wanted to say you aren't alone. I see a therapist through NOCD and I really like her so far. I encourage you to see a therapist. even if it is not OCD, you deserve answers/ help.

NewHere

Date posted: 42w

@garlicgirl I always had things I considered manageable but weird. My appearance needed to be completely perfect I’d go through my entire closet before I was happy. I’d check my social medias over and over again before sleeping convincing myself I hadn’t posted something on accident. But I hadn’t experienced anything like I mention in this post until May. Just out of nowhere like you’re talking about.

garlicgirl

Date posted: 42w

@NewHere the changing outfits and redoing my hair and makeup thing is so frustrating. sometimes i would just start crying and cancel my plans.

Aldxma.steph

Date posted: 21w

Hello everyone I need some advice

I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭

Aldxma.steph

Date posted: 20w

Hello everyone I need some advice/insight please

I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month and a half ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most out of absolutely NOWHERE. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭

L0ng16aelak

Date posted: 10w

Unsure if I even have OCD

Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.

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