Seeking advice on managing rumination and potential onset of depression.

Looking for advice

I went through ERP which helped a little but starting ICBT to hopefully help with rumination. I deal with suicidal ocd mainly which originally was a lot of specific harm thoughts and has now turned into “do I wanna do something” “am I depressed” and over analyzing everything that has to do with mental health. I’m on 20 of Prozac, have been for a couple months. My anxiety has almost went away but this week I’ve been concerned that I’m developing depression (for the first time ever), but I’m just not sure. I feel off. I feel “blah”. I’m worried that I’m not caring as much about things I did before. I’m ruminating a lot. Does anyone have any advice or insight? It’s really bothering me. I don’t want to freak out over this but want to prevent depression getting bad.

Username: Anonymous515Anonymous515

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22d ago

I would definitely speak to a/your therapist about it - that fear of becoming depressed could be just a doubt or OCD trying to sneak its way back in! A/your therapist could definitely help you determine that!

Username: LenaForever LenaForever

Date posted: 22d ago

Prozac can make u feel blah and numb like that, but it sounds like the fear of it is mostly your ocd. Questioning it will make it feel real!

Username: marcygirl23marcygirl23

Date posted: 22d ago

@LenaForever You think only 20 Prozac could make me feel numb?

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 22d ago

Depending on where you are from, if you live in a region, where it is autumn at the moment, you might be in a low mood due to the lack of sunlight. What helps in that case, is getting a lamp, that creates artifical sunlight without the part that can demage your skin. When I was in mental health clinics, people used this kind of lamp regularly. Also, you could get blood work done to rule out, that you suffer from a deficiency in vitamines, minerals, etc. Amongst others, low levels of vitamines D3, B6 and B12, as well as Folate and Magnesium can impact mental health.

Username: djfloriodjflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22d ago

I'm going to offer some somewhat unconventional advice: Allow yourself to feel depressed. Seriously. If you start to feel down, really sit with it and acknowledge it. If you want to cry, then cry. If you feel like nothing matters and you're overwhelmed, notice what that kind of mindstate feels like in your body. It's okay to feel anything at all. Speaking as someone who conquered suicidal obsessions, the only problem is the resistance. When we resist our emotions or thoughts, we are constantly in battle with reality. That's what leads to more intrusive thoughts and more anxiety. Maybe you are depressed, and maybe you aren't. The problem is you've logically linked depression with self harm, and so you resist any idea that you might be depressed. In fact, feeling depressed/sad/whatever might be the best thing for you. Because you need to demonstrate to yourself that those difficult emotional states do not necessarily lead to self harm. You can't "think" your way into that understanding, you have to experience it. This is the one of the foundations of ERP. Much love ❤️

Username: KL

Date posted: 6y ago

Hi there, I recently (3 weeks ago) started ERP therapy for Pure O OCD. 90% of my thoughts are harm related. Since I’ve started the therapy, I’ve been doing the homework it’s been really tough. I’ve started to get depressed and my thoughts are totally whack-a-mole and seem to never stop. Did this happen to anyone when going through ERP?

Username: McDucko

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD better, Depression worse

I still don't understand why my ERP is not affecting my mood much. I have been able to maintain my composure and let my thoughts pass by for the past week but I still feel like I just want to do nothing. Even when I force myself to do chores or engage in fun activities I just feel depressed. Am I just not disciplined enough in ERP yet or am I going to need something to help with the depression aspect of this? I'm curious what others who have been through this kind of feeling think.

Username: lex_lex_lex

Date posted: 1y ago

ruminating about ruminating

I am dumbfounded by how my whole life has been laced with OCD, and I never thought my anxiety was OCD-esc, since that’s not how it is portrayed in media or discussed in society. I also never truly gave therapy a shot for 25 years since I didn’t think I was mentally ill enough. It took being diagnosed with severe ocd, and depression that made me take a step back. I was not expecting OCD or depression, since i thought i was just a “high strung anxious individual” and since i do, on paper, enjoy life - how the hell could i be severely depressed (when literally i spend an allotted 5 hours a week on crying and being a disgruntled emotional mess) I’ve been through 4 sessions of therapy and each time I cry, even though I never think I’m gonna when i enter the session. I’ve been told i ruminate and all the planning, and thinking and attention to detail and journaling on journaling is not helpful how does one stop ruminating? when rumination is the only thing i do in my brain i am ruminating about ruminating if i don’t keep myself occupied with some form of stimulus i’ll think myself into a panicked state anyone break free from rumination, or have any perspective to share thanks 🫶🏼

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Seeking advice on managing rumination and potential onset of depression.

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