- Date posted
- 35w
Is this rocd?
One minute I’m like omg I like him so much I care so much about him this has to work out and the next minute I feel so detached and numb and I’m like do I even really want him
One minute I’m like omg I like him so much I care so much about him this has to work out and the next minute I feel so detached and numb and I’m like do I even really want him
It's partly OCD. Its definitely OCD that is causing you to have these random thoughts where you question your relationship. But I say it's only partly OCD, because its normal that every relationship has its ups and downs. There will be some days where you dont feel madly in love with your partner. Sometimes for no reason at all, just a bad day. It's perfectly natural. But unfortunately, the OCD gives these bad days way too much importance and meaning. I don't know you at all, but I can tell you just from this short post that you really do like him a lot. Because people who don't like their partner, never really go through stages where they think "I like him so much". So try think about it like that. Hope that makes sense
I’m going through the same thing rn. It’s weird cause there’s this one guy in my life and I think “omg he’s beautiful” like inside and out and I feel like I can fall in love with him. To the point I start happy crying over the thought of he and I being together and becoming extremely anxious of losing him. And then other days I don’t feel anything for him and I forget he exists. It’s confusing. I’ve never heard of ROCD, but I understand you.
I have ROCD and I’ve gone through the exact same thing. Even within one day I go from being so totally in love with my boyfriend to questioning if I actually do love him and if we should be together or not. Sometimes I feel like the times where I’m so in love with him is just me trying to convince myself that I am. But I have to take a step back and remember that if I’m ruminating on these fears and becoming so distressed by them then it is my OCD and not my true feelings.
How old are you?
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺
for me it’s getting to the point where i don’t feel in love with my boyfriend anymore. i’m trying to keep myself from compulsing since my compulsions are all mental. it’s like the thoughts consume my mind every second of every day and i can’t catch a break. it’s like i want to be with him so bad but my brain won’t allow me. any advice?
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond