- Date posted
- 50w
Is this rocd?
One minute I’m like omg I like him so much I care so much about him this has to work out and the next minute I feel so detached and numb and I’m like do I even really want him
One minute I’m like omg I like him so much I care so much about him this has to work out and the next minute I feel so detached and numb and I’m like do I even really want him
It's partly OCD. Its definitely OCD that is causing you to have these random thoughts where you question your relationship. But I say it's only partly OCD, because its normal that every relationship has its ups and downs. There will be some days where you dont feel madly in love with your partner. Sometimes for no reason at all, just a bad day. It's perfectly natural. But unfortunately, the OCD gives these bad days way too much importance and meaning. I don't know you at all, but I can tell you just from this short post that you really do like him a lot. Because people who don't like their partner, never really go through stages where they think "I like him so much". So try think about it like that. Hope that makes sense
I’m going through the same thing rn. It’s weird cause there’s this one guy in my life and I think “omg he’s beautiful” like inside and out and I feel like I can fall in love with him. To the point I start happy crying over the thought of he and I being together and becoming extremely anxious of losing him. And then other days I don’t feel anything for him and I forget he exists. It’s confusing. I’ve never heard of ROCD, but I understand you.
I have ROCD and I’ve gone through the exact same thing. Even within one day I go from being so totally in love with my boyfriend to questioning if I actually do love him and if we should be together or not. Sometimes I feel like the times where I’m so in love with him is just me trying to convince myself that I am. But I have to take a step back and remember that if I’m ruminating on these fears and becoming so distressed by them then it is my OCD and not my true feelings.
How old are you?
Today, my boyfriend — who usually doesn’t post much — made a really sweet TikTok with me. He used a trend where he called me his princess and posted it on Close Friends. It was thoughtful and loving… but I felt nothing. And that terrified me. Last night, I looked at him while we were lying in bed and had a thought: “I lost feelings. I don’t like him anymore.” It hit me like a wave, and since then I’ve been so scared that this is all the proof I need that I don’t love him. The worst part? I’m not feeling any positive emotions at all. No joy. No spark. No connection. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to feel something — anything — and I just can’t. I’m scared that the numbness means the love is gone. I’m scared I never truly loved him. I’m scared I’ve just been coping all this time, forcing it. I feel like the relationship is fake, like I’m fake, and everything is falling apart. And still… he keeps showing up for me. He’s loving, kind, and consistent. He tells me how much he loves me. But I can’t feel the warmth anymore, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m miserable, I feel like a shell, and I’m terrified that this is my truth — that I don’t love him and I’m just in denial. I need help. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living in this constant fear, panic, and emotional numbness. I don’t know what to trust anymore — the thoughts, the feelings, or the memories that feel blurry. Has anyone felt this too?
I’ve been having a good time with my partner laughing, and enjoying time together. But in the back of my mind I wonder why I don’t feel love for him. Like how do I get it back
Lately I’ve been having moments where I want to be single and explore other possibilities, like new relationships or flings. Sometimes I even feel like I do not want to marry my partner. Those moments honestly scare me. In the last two days alone, I almost broke up with my boyfriend three different times. I love him, and I want to love him without these moments/urges to leave. I’ve been feeling especially numb and distant this past month, and while my OCD has been quieter, my connection to the relationship feels like it’s slipping. I feel like I might be glorifying the idea of being single, like the freedom and exploration seem so idealized. I’ve been looking for posts that sound similar to what I’m going through (yes, I know that’s a compulsion), and I’ve found a few that made me wonder if maybe OCD is more involved in this than I initially thought. I just really don’t understand how. Could it be a mix of my numbness and OCD? Could the urge to explore or the emotional flatness around the relationship be OCD showing up in a different way? One other thing I’ve noticed: whenever my boyfriend is sweet or romantic, I feel this deep guilt or just nothing. Like I cannot say “I love you” back without feeling like I’m lying. It makes me feel like a bad partner. I just want to understand how OCD might be playing a role in all of this.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond