- Username
- Saskia
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I don't think that fearing losing them is part of OCD. It is a normal feeling when you love a person, but if you are obssessing about your partner talking to others and loving somebody else and stuff, that is ROCD acting too. Try to look for Awaken Into Love, I think they have a post talking about 2 types of ROCD
You're right! This is more than a normal fear, it's just stressing me so so much that I'm having an obsessive behavior about it. Like it's impacting my everyday life and a few month later the fear of "what if I'm not in love anymore" arrive. Now I got both of them, even if it's contradictory. I'll look at the video of Awaken Into Love as quickly as possible! Thank you again
I guess it is normal. There are 2 types of ROCD. Currently Im dealing with "Maybe I don' love him"and sometimes I get thoughts telling me that he is tired of me and doesn't love anymore without any proof. However I dont obssess about them as I have with the doubts about if I love him or not
Thank you so much to both of you! It's just that the thoughts seems so true sometime that I don't know what to think. I was wondering a lot if the fact that I'm afraid to lose my boyfriend, and afraid of not loving him anymore at the same time is ROCD? Because I see a lot of people talking about the fear of not being in love with your partner, but not a lot about the fear of your partner falling out of love
@Olympea You being afraid your partner doesn't love you means you care so much about him. Also if this helps, I have read cases of ROCD where people are afraid there partner doesn't love them. If you haven't already, try talking to your partner about it. I felt better when my girlfriend actually knew what was going on in my head. Also sorry if I have punctuation errors. Im terrible for that when im typing on my phone.
@LoganJefford Don't worry for punctuations errors I'm not an English native speaker! And yes I already talk about this with him and he was so understanding and kind. He always reassure me and I know that my fear probably came from nowhere but it's still here, or it turns into "what if I'm not in love anymore" sometimes. It's veery weird
ROCD is an annoying subset of OCD. I have it and I too get thoughts like "what if I don't love her". That annoying voice in your head will always try to find the next best thing to stress you out if you start to gain control of a thought. But, remember these thoughts do not mean they are true. It may feel real but if someone truly wanted to end the relationship with their significant other. They would do it without any obsessive thoughts. In conclusion, you care about your partner, you love them and they love you.
And I understand, Ive been dealing with this since March and it has been hell. My thought have been about me not loving him or loving him only as a friend
I understand you so much this is so hard to deal with!
I agree with @xMariax, ROCD latches on the fear of abandonment. For instance, I used to think my husband (boyfriend at a time) will leave me. It was crazy but at least I knew that I didn’t want him to go, so I felt sane. However, after the wedding and his not leaving me and insisting the he loves me for a few years, I think I was forced to acknowledge that I am safe with this relationship. But now I’m so hooked on being scared of abandonment that now I fear that something from within me will ruin everything.
I just made a post about this too sort of it’s so hard to figure it out. Do you feel like you love him or do you feel like you don’t? Or is it confusing? Ugh this struggle is so hard
It feels like my boyfriend is ‘another compulsion” because he makes me happy and that is what ocd does, but when he is gone, my mind can go everywhere. Mostly thinking im not attracted to men (im bi and for some reason i feel like i have to choose 1 gender, and that that would be women) even though i know that i dont have to choose and can just be happy with my bf. But then my mind can go “but are you happy” or “youre not aroused right now or aroused enough so your gay or you dont like bf” Thats really hard, because my one of my biggest fears is being with a man all my life (having a family etc) and then falling in love with a woman and throw it all away. I really really love my boyfriend, but it can feel like this is not my real identity and im doing the wrong thing. Like when im not thinking about it, if thats maybe my ocd and not the overthinking. Does anyone understand?
Hi friends! I am someone who struggles with general OCD but have recently come to question if it is more specific to my relationship(s). In my heart, I feel that I am currently in the most loving, fulfilling and safe relationship that I have ever been in but lately things have been rocky. I find myself questioning a lot. Examples being: Is he really the one for me? What if I am missing out on something even better? Am I actually happy or am I lying to myself? Is this relationship doomed/am I doomed to be miserable in the future due to our age difference (met at 25 & 32, currently 27 & 35) I find myself trying to pick him apart more often than not lately, almost as though I am looking for something to fixate on in attempt to reassure myself of some of my already negative thoughts? I’m just curious if anyone out there that struggles with ROCD finds any similarities to the thoughts I am having? Sending love!
Hello, I recently discovered I may have relationship OCD. I haven’t been formally diagnosed yet but I started experiencing thoughts like “I don’t really love him” or “I’m gonna break up with him”, and sometimes even thoughts that he doesn’t love me or he’s gonna leave me. This all started when I got a text from a former partner, and it was very surprising. I thought since it affected me so much that it meant I still loved him and that I didn’t love my current boyfriend. Before this event, I struggled with intrusive thoughts and compulsions but never about relationships and I didn’t think I had OCD. I wasn’t experiencing any of these specific thoughts before I got that text, and it’s really scary and I’m afraid my thoughts are true. I really do love my boyfriend but these thoughts are really making me depressed.
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