hateocd123
- Date posted
- 5y
starboiklemstarboiklem
- Date posted
- 5y
Im not sure if that's getting over it but i had hocd for 5 years it started when i was 15 and i couldn't even imagine life without it after some point.4 months ago i triggered a much more severe symptom (for me) and now hocd is gone completely and i can't ever see it coming back but it was more like replaced than gone on its own. Idk if it's temporary but after my new theme hocd feels like a joke,id pay to go back to that
hateocd123hateocd123
- Date posted
- 5y
What's your theme now?
starboiklemstarboiklem
- Date posted
- 5y
Solipsism/existamental, basically i went from questioning my sexuality to questioning the existence of other minds,for me this one is much more serious because for me thinking im alone in the universe is worse than thinking i may be gay
butwhatifbutwhatif
- Date posted
- 5y
I have gotten over it for periods lasting up to years. I saw my first therapist for it when I was 15, and I'm now 27. When it affects me, it can last for 6 months to a year or two, but because I have been dealing with it for so long, I also am (relatively) skilled at tolerating it once I realize that it's OCD. I'd say I started up again around 6 months ago and I'm guessing it's because I re-entered a previous committed relationship, which has always been my main trigger. I had nuances of OCD and black/white thinking even as a child, and it feels like so much of my personality at times that I don't predict it will never come back, but the symptoms have gone away so fully at times and for so long that I am completely unbothered by the thoughts that would bother me during an episode. I also have to be careful of theme shifts during these times, because although I'm not worried about my sexuality, I have become very depressed before thinking I was a narcissist, and I am also prone to existential thoughts. I hope this is helpful/informative.
hateocd123hateocd123
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes it is. Thank you so much. The first time I dealt with hocd I was 11 and 12 it went a way for nearly a decade with some intrusive thoughts here and there. I don't remember how I got over it honestly.
hateocd123hateocd123
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I had other themes, but I can't remember what came directly after that. Maybe I just shifted themes and that's how I got over it. I'm not sure.
butwhatifbutwhatif
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 Yeah, for me, I got over it with ERP therapy, and I would try to utilize those skills outside of therapy. My therapist seemed to like hour-long exposures, so for HOCD she had me watch lesbian porn for an hour and for thoughts about personality disorders, she just had me do hour-long mindfulness exercises. I'm mostly trying to avoid porn atm because it becomes a compulsion for me, but I have gotten back into mindfulness/meditation, which I've found helpful in the past. It's strange because when I was single in the past, I didn't have many concerns about my sexuality. I just thought, "yeah maybe I'm bi," but didn't have any interest in pursuing anyone and didn't put much stock in fantasies, or concern myself with finding a partner that was a 'true' representative of my tastes and desires. I'm trying to get some of that spontaneity back, and I think mindfulness helps with that. So even though it's a small step, right now I'm doing a 10 minute mindfulness meditation both in the morning and at night.
butwhatifbutwhatif
- Date posted
- 5y
@butwhatif Well, I don't know if I "got over it" either, per se, but it was manageable and not much of a thought in my mind. For some reason, this one is particularly bothersome to me because of the element of guilt.
confusedconfused
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes I have had a couple small bouts with it even though my main fears are harm ocd so that one dominates usually. But even with both of those I have gotten past it and had like 10 years of freedom from it each time in between. During those times I actually laugh at how silly it is I ever got worries about it. Its so strange how that works..
ElpresadorElpresador
- Date posted
- 5y
No I’ve never been able to
hateocd123hateocd123
- Date posted
- 5y
And I know EXACTLY where you're coming from because I think about dying every single day. I can't do it. I have to stick it out because I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel even though I've been flailing around in the dark for months. Are you religious?
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- Date posted
- 16w
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- Date posted
- 12w
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- Date posted
- 10w
Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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