I want to be a mom

Just to preface this, I’d like to say that I in no way whatsoever intend to judge parents of ocd children or people with ocd that have children. I honestly mean no disrespect with this post, I just really don’t know what to think or do. I wish the best for all of your families, and for all of you struggling with ocd as well. Please don’t let my post influence how you think, all I need is advice if anyone can give me it. Feel free to skip if this is an uncomfortable topic for you. Thank you! I’ve had ocd since I was young, but I hadn’t started thinking about this until recently. I heard that you have a 15-20% chance of passing ocd down to your child. I used to be really uncomfortable at the thought of being pregnant and often had intrusive thoughts trying to convince me I somehow was. I finally got past this and began to look forward to being a mother someday, but now I don’t know. I can’t imagine not having kids, but I’m scared that they’ll have ocd like me. It’s not a crazy high percentage but it still scares me. On one hand I’m like hey, who better to help their kid if they have ocd than a mom who has ocd? But on the other I worry that if they have it, it could worse than mine and that they’ll have a really hard time dealing with it. I hate to say this but it feels a little bit selfish to want to have kids when there’s a chance they’ll get the same disorder I hate so much. Both me and my sister have ocd as well, so I’m scared it’s something that runs in my family. Any advice would be appreciated.

Username: Foxfurry99Foxfurry99

Date posted: 26d ago

Just take a deep breath we are here for you if you need anything and the best advice I can give is when you have that baby no matter what even if they have ocd love them and hold them close no matter what because some day there will come a time when they start their own family. So don't worry no matter what the child will always love you and you will always love them just believe in your self and hold them close.

Username: adiadiadi22adiadiadi22

Date posted: 26d ago

@Foxfurry99 Thank youu 🫶🫶 I really needed to hear this. You’re absolutely right, thank you so much!

Username: Foxfurry99Foxfurry99

Date posted: 26d ago

@adiadiadi22 Your very welcome anytime I'm glad I could help.

Username: kindermindkindermind

Date posted: 26d ago

I don’t know if this is in anyway helpful but adoption is always an amazing option. I understand most people want a child with their genes but adoption can be amazing for so many little children. However I also don’t want to fuel your intrusive thoughts with this information. Would it be ok to ask your age? I’m 20 and recently decided I don’t want to have a child ocd being one of the many reasons (I live in the us so that’s part of the reason). The only reason I ask is there is still probably a lot of time for you to not only get good consistent treatment for your ocd but also for you to be able to do more research on the topic (in a healthy way and mindset). I think it’s put on women a lot to really want children when that simply isn’t plausible for a lot of us so I think it’s important to have these discussions especially with yourself but please be kind to yourself. Womanhood is a very stressful thing to navigate as is and when you have ocd on top everything just goes 1000% more intense. Both my mom and I have ocd and she always says I’m sorry I gave you my ocd and it makes me feel so bad only because she’s the one person I feel who truly understands me and what I’m going through. So while yes it sucks ass that we both have ocd I would much prefer having someone so close to me understand and us be able to help each other through it than to be suffering alone with a mother who doesn’t care.

Username: adiadiadi22adiadiadi22

Date posted: 26d ago

@kindermind I’m 18! I guess I didn’t really consider adoption before, but that’s a great option as well. And you’re right, I do have a lot of time to get treated and think about this. I’m grateful to live in a time when treatment is so accessible. I’m happy you have someone who can understand your ocd! At the end of the day I guess it really just matters that I’m there as a mother (if I decide to be one). Thank you for your advice <3

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 26d ago

I remember feeling a lot of relief when I read the OCD expect Johnathan Grayson say something about how he'd hate anyone to not have kids because of OCD. I assume because it's such a treatable condition. I've felt the same way you do in the past. The healthier I become, I less I feel that way. My depression lifting has made a difference. This is one of the most debilitating conditions, and yet, also one of the most treatable. I suffered for decades before I knew ERP existed. My kids won't experience that.

Username: adiadiadi22adiadiadi22

Date posted: 26d ago

@Anonymous Thank youu, I really appreciate your reply. That was relieving for me to read also. I love that you said your kids won’t experience that, I think that’s something I also need to remember. Thanks a lot!!

Username: Brittany A.

Date posted: 5y ago

How did you decide whether or not to have children? My psychologist tells me that people with contamination ocd can be great parents but I just don’t know how I will possibly be able to handle it. My partner wants children and I think I do too but I’m just not sure if it’s the right choice for someone like me. I can’t take care of a human being if I go back to having full-on breakdowns and constant panic. Any advice or personal experience is appreciated.

Contamination OCD

Username: Team Uncerta...

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 4y ago

Does anyone with POCD have children? I want to have children in the future, but the idea of it really scares me because of my fears. Something I have been learning in therapy is not to make fear-based decisions. So it’s definitely something I want to do, but I just wanna know some of your experiences with this.

Username: GoneHiking

Date posted: 3y ago

Struggling with a moral dilemma - I really want to have kids eventually, but I also have OCD. Even though my experience of the condition has been mild, I still wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I would feel really bad if a child inherited it from me. I think this might be reassurance-seeking, but I can't tell. If it is, I'm sorry.

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