I feel as if I’m faking it

I have this same problem repeatedly where I see things online about faking OCD and people talking about how OCD isn’t just cleaning and it makes me feel like I’m faking it and it’s pretty much its own theme now. I have a handwashing problem and since it’s so heavily stigmatized as faking I never do it when others are watching because then I feel like I’m seeking attention. Pretty much all of my visible compulsions I do are behind closed doors or on my own and I can’t do anything about it because if I try to show somebody then I’m attention seeking and faking. If I try to talk about the fear then I’m also attention seeking because now I’m guilt tripping and seeking sympathy and therefore I shouldn’t tell anyone and I shouldn’t show anyone. I’m essentially hiding an entire mental illness because of this, the only person I’ve ever really told about my issues is my therapist, nobody else feels safe.

Username: MichelleVMichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8d ago

I don’t have a hand washing compulsion, but I have felt many times that I don’t actually have OCD or that my compulsions aren’t compulsions. This is a common thought for people with OCD. I want to validate (but not reassure) you here. OCD is an incredibly hard disorder to work through. You don’t have to earn compassion or respect, you inherently deserve it. Hand washing is a valid compulsion. If it’s something you struggle with and it causes you a lot of distress, then it’s something to address. I’m sorry the discourse of OCD makes you feel this way. But try to sit with you uncertainty here. Maybe you are faking. Maybe you want attention. Or, maybe not. I kept my OCD hidden for years. And things got easier when I asked for support. I hope you can find people you can lean on when you’re struggling. Try the support groups here with NOCD too. Take care of yourself ❤️

Username: Billie Ray is the dogBillie Ray i...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4d ago

I see how OCD is trying to manipulate you and make you feel isolated and alone. Remember, you are not alone. There is a whole community of us with OCD (myself included) who are here to support you on your journey to recovery. You got this! Also, remember that OCD is known as the "doubting disorder" for a reason - it loves making you doubt things. Keep this in mind ;)

Username: emma345emma345

Date posted: 8d ago

Feeling like you are faking ocd is a symptom of ocd. All the things you described sound like ocd. I'm not a professional obviously, but it definitely doesn't sound like you are faking ocd.

Username: daltonb.971daltonb.971

Date posted: 7d ago

Whether its fake to others or not is irrelevant, its obviously real to you which is what matters. You're doing the right thing seeking help here and from therapy. Continue with ERP and if you feel fear about washing your hands in public then you should do your best to face it and do just that. You can do it! You are in control not your anxiety. With each little victory anxiety gets less and less significant in your life. Eventually, your anxiety will level out to a normal degree and you'll operate on the same level and neurotypical people. Just as your brain learned to be anxious, it can learn to be calm! Good luck to you!

Username: feethebee

Date posted: 3y ago

my biggest fear is what if i don't actually have ocd and get exposed as a fraud. im afraid i might have been living a lie the whole time. i keep thinking that im not as ill as others here. i feel like i don't deserve attention, it's like im unconsciously invalidating myself all the time and j can't help but think that im an impostor in disguise. that im just doing this for attention. that i just want to be mentally ill to feel like i fit in somewhere. when i show a new ocd symptom im afraid that oh im probably just copying something that i saw off this app here because i want to feel like i truly do have ocd. i know i most likely have it but im so stuck in this loop of doubt. my ocd isn't as severe as it was in the beginning so that makes me feel even more invalid and i have developed impostor syndrome over the years.

"Pure" OCD

Username: tulipomania

Date posted: 2y ago

OCD makes me feel so alone. These last few months I feel like I’ve been unable to be honest or open fully with anyone. I’m so ashamed of what’s inside me and I’m scared. I feel like everything is my fault and I’m lonely despite having wonderful people and things in my life. I am alone and feel so fake and disingenuous.

Username: Just_Some_Pe...

Date posted: 41w ago

Imposters Syndrome?

So I'm not sure if it's just me, but I've been diagnosed with OCD for a couple years, and I've had symptoms since as far as I can remember, but I still feel like maybe it's all in my head and I'm just imagining all the compulsions? I sometimes feel like maybe all the struggling from compulsions is just me trying to sub-conciously manipulate other people to do things for me out of pity. I don't like the pity, and I want to be able to easily do things for myself, so I know it makes no sense, but sometimes I just can't talk myself out of it. Any thoughts or recommendations?

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I feel as if I’m faking it

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