Being bisexual is complicated

I am thinking what if i was with a guy and it is making me feel so bad, i truly love her but I catch myself thinking what if she was a guy and would I like it more or less. So frustrating knowing I had a crush on her for years and when we together this bullshit makes me wonder if i would break up would it be easier? And this is another guilt shit. In the end what is scariest is what if it is not my rocd? Even tho yesterday for the whole day I accepted my intrusive thoughts, anxiety didnt control me at all when I was with her on a date. And today speaking with her im having all these thoughts, cause guys turn me on so much. It's getting hard

I’m Batman

Date posted: 33w

No one can answer this for you. Only you can decide if it’s ocd or you. I can tell you for me the difference between something I am actually concerned about vs ocd. If the thought or urge comes in and then I feel an overwhelming sense to go do a “compulsion” then 99% of the time it ends up being ocd. Example: I hear a video with Morgan Freeman’s voice. I feel an overwhelming sense to go and confess to my wife I am now gay and no longer like women. I acknowledge the thought but I don’t engage. I don’t go tell my wife that. No matter how strong that urge is. Once OCD realizes I’m not doing the compulsion it kind of moves on to the next obsession. Huh ? Guess I’m not leaving my wife for Morgan freeman🤣

I’m Batman

Date posted: 33w

@I’m Batman This was a real example for me too. The man has a sexy voice what can I say. Sometimes sexy is just sexy 🤣. We can accept that and it does not mean we are any different than before

paulius

Date posted: 33w

I always feel a strong urge to tell my girlfriend so she reassures me (I did say similar stuff in past few times) and I also feel strong urges to always google and all 😭. It's just that my brain tells me what if I'm faking all all all of this

I’m Batman

Date posted: 33w

@paulius Yeah gotta fight doing the compulsion. It’s the only way to teach your brain you can handle this. It’s hard but it’s possible. Don’t seek reassurance. Accept the uncertainty.

paulius

Date posted: 33w

@I’m Batman It's so hard cause I feel so guilty and the fact that Im the one who confessed and all

paulius

Date posted: 33w

@I’m Batman Do yk how I can try the ERP by myself? I don't have money- but I really want to stay with her no matter what

I’m Batman

Date posted: 33w

@paulius First , it has to be hard. If it was easy then we would have a different conversation. For ERP I would suggest stop confessing and stop reassurance seeking. The exposure is easy. Being around your partner is an exposure. The thought of a guy being attractive is an exposure. The exposure is not important anyways. The response prevention is what trains your brain. An example for me would be …. Say a guy says something nice to you. Say he’s attractive. Now you might be actually attracted to him. It’s possible right ? We are human. Now ocd says … “oooo you are a bad person. Go tell your gf you are bad and you found that guy attractive”. Your response prevention would be to not engage with that thought. Don’t go confess and don’t sit and try to figure out if you are or are not more interested in that guy. Now you just told OCD no. And you will feel like crap. It sucks. But sit there and feel that anxiety and guilt and shame. It feels real but really it’s just ocd trying to make you do a compulsion. Don’t do it. Each time you fight that urge you will learn that you can live with that uncertainty and you can handle it. I would suggest checking out the NOCD YouTube channel. Good info there. Also Nathan Peterson. I have no ties to either of these channels but they have helped me in the past. https://youtu.be/w4r0kir8COY?si=rBZte_V0j0eEJdnr https://youtu.be/kGTDv6mzrkU?si=ARQpdDelqJmPoSP4

paulius

Date posted: 33w

@I’m Batman Thanks a lot, I'm getting new motivation in life, I mean ik there are gonna be lots of downs but I'm ready. Thanks again ❤

1SadKuma

Date posted: 33w

Are you a girl?

paulius

Date posted: 33w

Yes

Anonymous

Date posted: 19w

is it rocd or just a relationship?

hey you guys i’m new to the app, i just wanted to come on here and share part of what i’ve been struggling with recently- around the beginning of 2024 i started having intrusive thoughts and they completely took over my life to the point where i began planning my suicide once i had finished out some of my commitments for that year. during that time i met this girl and we began texting and keeping in touch with each other every single day since last february. (tw suicide) unfortunately i did have to spend some time in a hospital after i attempted suicide in may of 2024 and i never really knew if this girl was into me or if she even liked girls but we kept talking up until the end of october where we finally said we liked each other. immediately i could tell smth was wrong bc i was shaking and crying and completely scared because i wanted to be very clear that i couldn’t commit to a relationship and then i disclosed to her i was in the hospital in may and i still hadn’t fully recovered from that (#stillhavent #butiwillsoitsokay😛) and i felt awful that i had responded to such an amazing moment like that andever since then i had been plagued with these constant thoughts about not liking her, being straight (which i still don’t know and fully branched out into SOOCD and i have an incredibly hard time distinguishing what is OCD and what is genuinely true about my sexuality because ive never really felt like this for a girl) and for about 4 months we went out on dates where i felt absolutely horrible because i felt like i wasn’t acting like myself or i was being rude to her or i was more attracted to male passerby’s than her or i accidentally thought something about her that just felt so mean and horrible. i also convinced myself it could never work because i couldn’t picture her face and that continued for the first two months, but then i decided to call things off at the beginning of march because i just couldn’t handle debating if i actually liked her if i was gay if i was a horrible person and if i was wrong for all the things i thought every single day and currently we’re on a break because i tried to call things off and she kind of talked me out of it in a very kind and understanding way. i just hate leaving her in limbo because at the end of the day i just want her to be happy because she is an amazing incredible and sweet person and if i wasted more of her time i’d feel even more awful. kinda long lowk… if u read all this thank u and lmk what u think:)

Mags2002

Date posted: 17w

Compulsions around rocd and soocd

When i do the compulsion of checking if i want my bf or a girl it always makes me feel like with my bf i cant kiss 1nd then i am like this is because of ocd but when i then think about kissing a woman it feels like it would go easy , shouldnt the compulsion bring me peace like bad reassurance ? Does this mean i am not into men , it feels way to similar ,like my intrusive thoughts are like normal thoughts

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 16w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

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Being bisexual is complicated

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