Will this affect me in the future?

When i was between the ages of 11-18 i was a very mentally ill and hyper sexual kid. I did a lot pf sexting, sent nudes, and even one video of me doing inappropriate things that haunt me to this day. I have changed a lot since then and realized that this was all jn relation to (TW!!) sexual abuse i experienced as a child/teen. I still feel horrible for the things that I have done and think about this daily. I beat myself up because I know it was wrong of me to act that way growing up. Im afraid that someone will find these texts/pictures/videos one day and it will lead to my complete humiliation. I want to throw up at the thought of people i know and love seeing me act that. Its not who I am or who I ever was. I regret that part of my life so deeply it hurts.

Username: nae naenae nae

Date posted: 5w ago

I've dealt with something a bit similar, so I can understand the regret. You shouldn't beat yourself up over this. You were very young when this happened, and you didn't have the knowledge or the maturity you do now to have known differently, especially with the abuse you experienced. What's important is that you've grown since then! You said it yourself—it's not who you are. It's a different version of you that doesn't exist anymore. It's not going to be an overnight fix or easy, but you'll need to offer yourself some grace and accept that what happened is in the past and can't be changed (even if we might have thoughts wishing otherwise). All we can do is move forward and try the best we can to be better! :) Which, it seems like you're doing. I hope you're able to find forgiveness for your past self and get some relief from these overbearing feelings.

Username: LizOCD3LizOCD3

Date posted: 5w ago

@nae nae i appreciate this. sometimes its hard to acknowledge that that version of me is in the past. but i do my best to move on

Username: nae naenae nae

Date posted: 5w ago

@LizOCD3 Yeah, I understand that completely. I've definitely done a lot I regret in my past. It's unfortunate, but there's a lot of people that have very similar experiences from their childhood (and regrets). But, humans are meant to make mistakes. It's how we learn and grow! I feel like the OCD can definitely amplify and create a harsher, more critical view on those memories, which is what gets us stuck in that cycle of rumination, checking, feelings of guilt, shame, regret, etc... You're doing great. :)

Username: King sillyKing silly

Date posted: 5w ago

I think it’s unfair to judge yourself as every person did that when they were younger. Even me

Username: andrewt_andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4w ago

When you were younger, your brain worked very differently than it does now. Plus, as you said, your experiences as a child contributed to the mistakes you made. If someone else had the same circumstances as you, they would likely make the same mistakes you did. The truth is none of us are incapable of doing things we shouldn’t. You are a product of your environment, we all are. But you deserve to find peace no matter what happened in the past.

Username: LizOCD3LizOCD3

Date posted: 4w ago

@andrewt_ thank you so much ❤️

Username: GuiltyGrapes

Date posted: 23w ago

I’m a true monster

I (15m)am seeking advice because I believe I may have a false memory OCD. I am worried that I may have sexually harmed people without realizing it, especially my young cousins. I am also concerned that I may be a pdophile as i think im aroused by kids but idk if its kids or the idea of s*x. I believe my exposure to explicit content at a young age may have also given me hypersexuality, which still affects me.I feel guilt too because when i was younger i did cocsa against my younger brother he doesn't remember it but i do and i'm just scared what if i did other bad things like that. I do not want to use this as an excuse for my actions at age 14 when I made sexual advances/jokes towards my friends, causing them discomfort and harm. Some forgave me saying they didn't care about it now, but one friend ended our relationship due to my inappropriate behavior during a game and is scarred/traumatized and doesn't even want to look at me i tried to tell him i'm sorry but he doesn't really want me talking to him ever again. I am filled with guilt and shame for my actions and consider turning myself in as a result. The idea that I may have harmed someone without remembering it terrifies me, and I struggle to forgive myself for the pain I have caused others. I'm scared to even encounter people I hurt. I'm a monster that deserves to be beat up/ publicly hurt as most pdos/ s*x offenders do.

Username: King silly

Date posted: 19w ago

Please help me (don’t read if you’re younger)

❌❌❌DO NOT READ IF YOURE YOUNGER ❌❌❌ —- — - I feel like a really bad person right now, I remember my past and I remember when I was 14, I sent actual inappro//priate pictures of myself to my partner and I regret it so much, i genuinely do, I thought it was okay because I was around adults that were inappropriate to me, and it was so normalized, I don’t know why, I feel like I’m gonna go to jail, this happened 2 years ago but I still feel afraid that I will be in jail for what I’ve done, I can’t stop worrying about this event and I just need help, please someone help, am I a bad person?

Username: GuiltyGrapes

Date posted: 16w ago

Why am I still here?

My life has been hell, and I don’t know how to move on. I (15M) did awful things when I started high school, thinking being sexual was the way to connect. I crossed boundaries, overshared, and kept flirting with friends and making sexual jokes, even after they said no (all over text). One friend stopped talking to me and can’t even look at me now. I feel like a monster. Why shouldn’t I be locked up? If I got therapy, I feel like I’d be sent jail. How can I ever move on?Then there were these 2 guys who were older than me one was 16 one was 17. The 16 yr old was introduced to me by my online friend who is my best friend and I begged the 16 yr old for pics (idk how it started but after my friends ex randomly messaged me and sent me pictures and then blocked me right after I think I became addicted to chasing that high) the 16 yr old eventually sent me a pic but it was real and I stopped bugging him on it after that but i feel so bad I did that but my friend tells me not to feel bad cause the guy was weird but I still feel bad. Then the 17 yr old I did the same thing with him but went too far when I tried getting pics from him by using my best friends ass pics she sent me (she was 15) I don’t think I grasped how wrong this was but that’s not an excuse she eventually found it when I told her after she tried getting pics from the guy herself to try and help me and the guy got mad when she stopped talking to him cause we found it weird talking to him. I told her about how I sent the pics she said she felt sick but forgave me cause she thought I was gonna harm myself. Fast forward the guy told me after I had still been flirting with him that I s@d him (we never met in person ever) and I felt so guilty and apologized a lot and he got annoyed and told me that he had been kinda manipulative to me and kept me in a loop of mystery and I don’t talk to him anymore. But one of my other friends stopped talking to me after I was being by too emotionally taxing on him because I became very depressed and didn’t wanna life anymore and tried to stop lifing a few times. And now idk if I actually s@d someone if I did that to someone and now I think I’m a pdo and I think I s@d my baby cousins and my little brother and now I’m scared bf I can’t even get help because my parents don’t believe in therapy and even if I wanted to I’m scared because I don’t want to go to jail but I think I deserve it honestly why should a monster like me live.

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