Reassurance

Having ocd can either make life difficult or painful or both depending on the theme(s). For me it’s painful. My ocd latches onto my children. I have very upsetting harm and pocd intrusive thoughts. Sometimes it’s easy to shrug them off but other times the ocd makes it seem likes it’s me thinking these things and it feels so real and it has me so depressed. I never used to see any parents posting about this but recently there have been a few. I know it’s really hard to talk about but sharing can help us all feel less alone and more supported. I’m grateful to anyone that offers support because I feel so defeated lately. 😞

I already make a post about this but i need to hear more thoughts on this. Let’s be clear- i am not asking for reassurance i just want to know how to deal with this ocd. Basically, my ocd keeps doing this thing were, for instance if i don’t - make a religious post - report a religious post -Post certain tik toks (Examples of many) It accuses me of being ashamed or embrassed of my religion. I AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me post so much (not too much) but I don’t want to NOT in a bad way- i just don’t want to all the time. I feel like religion isn’t all about that and it keeps accusing me. Just now i saw a photo of Priests. They were wearing a certain hat. I ddint want to repost it becwsue 1. Not bc of anything really 2. I am sad to say I ddint like the hat- i felt bad about it, ocd make me do compulsions over it. I now like and appreciate the hat. I make the repost. But I just feel like ocd is making me think if I don’t do soemthing I am ashamed or embrassed and it is getting out of hand. How do i separate ocd from this???????

I was doing so good, but over the past few months, the OCD has returned with a vengenace. I try to explain what I'm experiencing to my family, but they don't understand. I just need to hear that people get it and know that I can make it out the other end alive and in one piece I've had many themes over the years, but right now, scrupulocity is taking over my life. It takes the normal day-to-day things I do, and twists them into compulsions to feed the insatiable monster that tells me if I don't do enough, be perfect enough, that I'm not a good partner-- not a good person. I'm not working hard because it feels satisfying; I'm doing it because I feel lazy and worthless if I don't. Everything has been taken to an extreme. It's making getting in the way of eating and sleeping. I'm suffering, but I feel like I need to try and pretend that I'm fine (even though I'm terrible at hiding it) because I feel like my husband will think I'm crazy, whiny, and dramatic, and eventually, get tired of it and leave. I'm not asking for reassurance. I just want to not feel so alone.