Omg just googled childhood signs that you’re a lesbian and loads say they played online games and pretended to be a boy and date or make out with girls! I used to play Habbo and do shit like this or I just didn’t dress as a boy! I feel sick. I feel doomed. I want to be free of this. I don’t want to be with a girl!
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@literatureandpumpkinsx Really?! This is really playing on my mind and Google people are like this is the first sign that they were gay!! I remember when I had MSN as a kid, thinking about it now I was 100% groomed lol. On webcam was a girl around the same age but looked odd when I remember and she used to ask me sexual things I think and once asked me to show her me in my swimming costume… so my head is now telling me I’m a lesbian for doing that ‘what if that was again evidence’
I know I have😭
@Parisx I'm so sorry you went through that. You didn't understand what her intentions were at the time and were taken advantage of. I've gone through something similar, and it's not at all your fault or evidence to the worries you're having now. 🫂
@nae nae Thank you! It doesn’t bother me my brain says it’s evidence that bothers me AND I remember flicking throughTV as a child and stumbling across naked women and I couldn’t turn it off, so again my head is going evidence!! Ever since I was little I have always fantasised about marrying a man and having a baby with a man!
@Parisx I agree with the comment above! And, I'm glad it doesn't bother you. But I'm sorry you've been struggling with these fears! Also, try to avoid googling things related to those thoughts and things. It can be a compulsion, and there's also the possibility you'll come across things that'll trigger more unnecessary worries. :(
@nae nae Thank you! I just don’t want to be a lesbian I really don’t. Don’t get me wrong, I have no issues with gay people and I am comfortable to admire a woman etc but I don’t want to be a lesbian I really don’t. It makes me flinch!!!
@Parisx Don't worry, I understand! And, I think that's proof it's just the OCD, but of course, it'll always try to find a way to twist our true feelings to get us into doing compulsions😮💨 I believe you'll be able to overcome this, though! Wishing you all the best!
@nae nae Thank you, honestly! Thank you so much! X
@Parisx Same I also struggle with SO-OCD and it's torture. Almost as if my mind is against me. I don't like girls and have never even been sexually attracted to one but why my mind playing tricks on me
Remember that tons of girls play with Barbies and roleplay with Ken dolls or Bratz Boyz
@KitteKatte I remember being 13 and my phone bill was expensive and I don’t know why but the phone company said it was a website (to do with women’s boobs) and I know I didn’t look at that on my phone I know I didn’t but my brain is saying ‘what if you did and you’re lying to yourself’ honestly makes me feel sick!
I remember as a child playing mums and dads with my childhood friend. I remember we said we need to kiss because that’s what mums and dads do. So we used to peck eachother and I remember back then liking it and I guess feeling tingly if that’s even possible as a child??? I remember back then just thinking it was fine because we were just playing mums and dads. I didn’t have a ‘crush’ on her! She was always just my family friend ! I remember my mum coming in and seeing us and saying what are you doing blah blah and then I remember feeling guilty then! I’m just so stressed because I’ve never fancied or wanted to be with a girl romantically or physically and the only ‘proof’ is stuff I did as a child. I’m literally soo sooo anxious Everytime I think of it!!! I just want to be with my bf and be happy like I was before my so ocd relapse!? Does anyone else have childhood memories like this that just haunt you!!!.
I feel sick to my stomach, a few days ago I knew I was straight and could picture my life with my bf again. The anxiety has really lessend and Im more depressed now. I'm 100% convinced I am lesbian even tho I have never had sexual attraction to women, found them pretty but never wanted to be with them. My mind is only picturing me being with women now and it feels like a pit in my stomach. I don't feel emotion now, I'm also on my period. I don't want to be lesbian. I want to be with my boyfriend and have the life I pictured with him. My memory is so dissorted right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with being lesbian, it's just not for me and now that makes me feel like I'm homophobic.
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
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