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i always do this and recently i have terrible sleeping schedule because i keep ruminating and obsess about past events that I'm not sure if i remember it right because my memories always bends itself :( may we get rid of this obsession

Ur not alone ❤️

Sorry you are struggling with this, I do as well. I find accepting uncertainty and possibility to be the most effective NERs for me. Difficult and scary to do because it feels like giving life to the fear but in my experience the most effective at getting out of the loop. Examples I found helpful https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/how-do-i-stop-thinking-about-this-what-to-do-when-youre-stuck-playing-mental-ping-pong/