Advice please

Ok yall so I’ve been doing really good with my ocd but my friend just said something that started to make me panic again. A trigger I guess. So I was basically messaging her and I was sending videos of a very handsome celebrity that I’m OBSESSED with. Like he’s everything I talk about. And she said something that doesn’t make sense to me but made me freak out nonetheless. She said “your so close to liking women” as a like a friendly type of way and I of course panicked at that…I just don’t understand why she said this and I’m actually panicking about it know the celeb doesn’t really look feminine either so why she said this I’m not sure 😭 this is the celeb

WannaBeANorm...

Date posted: 27w

I think what she said was just a joke without some deeper meaning. Liking certain types of men doesn't determine whether you like women.

RinnChester

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w

It's because BangChan is very pretty :p Really it could be something silly or her unconscious prejudice either toward LGBT or Asian/Korean men. Even in the picture here very little body hair, clear skin, etc are often perceived as less masculine. In videos and performances, with makeup and everything it is a prejudice that many be hold subconsciously. Regardless, I'd try to STAY away from assuming it means something deeper and give them the benefit of the doubt. If this is a close friend, maybe you can just ask them about it. p.s. if it wasn't clear I am a STAY so if you ever want to talk I'm here. STRAY KIDS ALL AROUND THE WORLD YOU MAKE STRAY KIDS STAY

Chrissy127

Date posted: 27w

@RinnChester Ah thank you for replying 😭 I just don’t understand why she said that…😭 I mean she’s lesbian herself so I don’t know why she’s said that and I’m so scared that like it meant something deeper

Chrissy127

Date posted: 27w

@RinnChester It’s just like how do I bring this up with her without making it seem uncomfortable and ruining the vibe I guess 😭

RinnChester

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w

@Chrissy127 Ah that is a little complicated, but I think that vulnerability and authenticity can go a long way. If it affects your ability interact with this friend it might be worth bring up, if not it can maybe wait. Up to you. But if you think it means something about your own orientation, do you think she is recognizing something you are not? What kinds of things do you think it could mean? Would those things be bad? I have been learning a lot recently that, at least with myself, the way I think others perceive me plays a much bigger role in my life than some of the actual relationships do. Ex. I dont have a good relationship with my Dad and I stress about what he would think. I also literally never talk to him so it's really just the my own thoughts about him judging me. Sorry to get all philosophical there. I think its worth exploring though. There is no shame in not knowing.

Chrissy127

Date posted: 27w

@RinnChester Well do you think that Chan has feminine features? I know it’s normal for straight women to like some men with feminine features but I’m scared this means that I like women and after she said that I haven’t been able to understand why she had as well…I’ve asked my sister and she’s also said that Chan is feminine presenting.

RinnChester

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 26w

@Chrissy127 I was coming back here to check how you are doing! I didn't even see this one before sorry 😞 I might not be the best to ask. I think everyone is a mix of feminine and masculine energy. I think Chan has stereotypically feminine behaviors but uh have you seen Railway? lol It's also difficult to say because culturally it is different. I think Chan more of a man than most men I've met here and he is half their age. For me I see it more behaviorly and more energetically I guess. I joke that my favorite color is grey because I don't believe anything is truly black and white. My favorite color is grey tho. I guess my real question is, why are you "scared" that you might like women? Is it scary? Is it wrong? no judgemental here, just really? Is it just unknown? Do you think it's bad?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond