- Date posted
- 13w ago
Anyone
Any Christian’s with religion ocd and relationship ocd I feel so alone
Any Christian’s with religion ocd and relationship ocd I feel so alone
Yup! I’m a Christian and I’ve had religious OCD, SO-OCD, you name it. You are not alone and your OCD does not define your walk with our Lord. 🫶✝️ Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and I will give you rest.”
I’ve struggled with religious OCD too. As well as harm OCD. It was only until I realized that no matter what I did or how much I tried, I could not “save” myself (i.e. fix my thoughts, sins, and behavior) I had to let Jesus do it. When He said “it is finished” he meant it. Proverbs 3:5-6 also guides me. Between trusting in Jesus and ERP, I eventually started to do better with many ups and downs along the way. It’s an ongoing process, but it can and does get better. It took me about a year and a half after I started therapy to get better, but I am glad that I did because OCD had been disrupting my life for well over a decade.
I really like your username - Jesus is King. I'm also a Christian who struggles with Religious OCD. I'm thankful to you all who have posted your stories here - so brave. You give me hope as I start my journey with all of this.
I’ve been having religious ocd too. It’s been on my mind like crazy. To the point I feel like everything I do could be wrong. I don’t follow a certain denomination right now but I try and follow all universal values (monotheism, being kind, patience, etc…) usually my sinful actions are towards myself not towards other people such as self deprecation, making fun of myself, looking up answers to tests….am I doing ok???
@evyan Sorry that sounded kinda selfish…I’m just looking to help and be helped
@evyan Not selfish as all I understand your struggling
@evyan I love hearing about people struggles make me realize I’m not alone
I am a Christian and I have struggled with just about every theme at some point in my life. Ask me anything. (I won’t provide reassurance)
Hello my friend. Actually I am not a Christian, I am a Muslim but like you I have religious OCD. All I know is that our God is much bigger and more generous than anything we can even imagine and the love God has for us is indescribable. No matter what happens and despite everything, God and our saints hear us without any prejudice and support us and know the truth of our hearts. I want you to know that you are not alone and there are many people in the world who have this problem like us and don't even know what it is and blame themselves for it but we are lucky to have achieved a relative self-awareness about ourselves and our thoughts, and I hope this message has been able to make you feel better at least a little bit❤️
Me!!! It’s even more overwhelming thinking about whether god wants me in this relationship or not. Sometimes I even think maybe god is allowing us to have problems so that I can leave him. Even vise versa, “god is teaching us a lesson to make our relationship stronger” it’s a never ending loop of confusion
I used to have religious OCD, and I overcame it. Now I have ROCD.
@Anonymous Same
YES. For many years, my OCD (scrupulosity) would tell me I had offended someone in something I had said in conversation, or, my scrupulosity would tell me that I needed to confess somethign I had said or done years ago. It was heavy and depressing for me because the weight of the guilt was strong and it was on the top of my mind very often. The obsession (I didn't know it was an obsession, I thought it was a legitimate thought, or "conviction") was, "you'll have to suffer with this weight" UNLESS (compulsion) you go to that person and confess. The problem was that most often another thought/instance would take it's place. So very discouraging. And I thought, as a Christian, I needed to "reconcile" with those I had offended. It got all mixed up. In truth, I was (and do) struggling with OCD, which was exacerbated by my desire to live a Christian life. Over the years, I've learned to (try) tp let those thoughts happen, and to simply not act on them. I've seen some freedom in not acting on them. OCD is a bully and a liar. "DO IT! CONFESS! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PEACE." "OH WAIT, YOU DIDN'T DO THAT WELL ENOUGH. YOU FORGOT ONE SMALL THING, SO YOU WILL NOT HAVE PEACE UNTIL YOU FIX THAT PART ALSO." It can be exhausting and discouraging. I've seen that freedom lies in refusing to do the compulsion (confess). It was quite helpful to me once I learned that those thoughts were not necessarily from my Christian faith, but rather they were from OCD. That's not my only OCD theme that I've expereinced in my life to be sure, but it was one of them. :) Please hang in there and keep learning about OCD. Jesus is bigger than our human frailities, and will walk with us through our struggles. (Psalm 23).
@dallas28 It’s so hard for me because my thoughts are about death and not going to heaven or my family I’m so terrified I feel like I’m not doing enough or I’m faking my feelings or I’m using god for gifts I don’t know what to do I feel like I’m fake and all of me is just fake I wish I was normal I know this is my cross to carry but it hurts so much
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
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