Really really struggling with an ongoing genital herpes obsession. I have had no serious sign that I have it and I've been tested multiple times for every other STD but herpes requires either a blood test or the swabbing of symptomatic sores and a lot of doctors recommend against it since it is so common, harmless, and just causes mental distress to know. 5 years ago I messed around with another girl (just kissing and maybe hand contact) and she later told me she had genital herpes but she was on medication for it. It's hard to function thinking I have it and may have passed it on even though I have no reason to think I do. I feel like getting blood tested while having no symptoms would be a bad idea for my recovery but I'm not sure.

In September I had unprotected oral sex. I haven’t had sex in five years because even before that I was so ashamed and worried about sex. I finally did it and then a few weeks later while I was at work I started to be very itchy all in my underwear area like up to my butt. I didnt see any blisters or anything but when I googled it, herpes came up. Eventually I thought maybe it was the new underwear I bought and it went away after I stopped wearing them. However it’s returned twice, mostly when I’m really worried about herpes. I know this makes little sense because I don’t thinking about it would cause an outbreak but, either way I’m really nervous to go get tested because I heard there’s a high false positive rate and if I get a positive there’s a huge chance I will just become a recluse and never speak to anyone again. I already have so much trauma with sex, vaginismus, etc. I can’t imagine telling anyone I have herpes and then they 1) don’t want to be with me 2) now know this and could tell anyone they want Even if I don’t have it I was reading it could be asymptomatic and 80% of people who have it don’t even know, so now I’m worried I will get it no matter what sex I have. I can barely handle staying alive with just OCD but now with social stigma with herpes I will feel like I can not even live a normal life. I am already freaking out about it and don’t know what to do. I am worried to go get tested and it saying I have it, and then I’m worried to not and potentially spread it, I’m not even having sex with anyone right now so it’s not like I would. But I’m worried I will forget to wash my hands and touch something and someone else will touch it and then get it. I’m just having a really bad time.

I've recently decided to get tested for HSV because I have kissed someone with HSV-1. I tested negative several months ago, but I want to be sure. Today I started feeling a tingling sensation and when I pressed my lips together I felt a bump there. So ever since, I've been trying to confirm if there is or is not a bump, where it is, if it's an early HSV breakout or an early pimple. The web searches say that tingle sensations usually means cold sore, but I know that as of a few months ago I tested negative and I have in fact had this tingle happen for zits along my lip line. So I'm super confused and dying to have an answer. I'm planning on heading in to a clinic for a test first thing tomorrow morning but if I can get any advice or knowledge I would so appreciate it, even if that advice and knowledge is helping me break from my compulsion to fidget with my lip or search up information.

tw; !! sex, lgbtq, cold sores, anxiety !! okay so i haven’t been on NOCD since 2023. i need help so bad. i know i need to go to therapy, but i honestly just don’t have the money for it unfortunately. i was hoping to get some help. i’ve been with my girlfriend for three years, and we have a beautiful relationship. and an even more beautiful, healthy sex life; up until a year ago that is. she’s known i get cold sores every now and then since i met her. and i let her know that because it was fair and right. she never minded, and i never really..paid attention to them? i guess. well i got like 4-5 outbreaks in the last 5 years before april of 2023 and haven’t had one since. well i know that lip tingling or burning can be a sign of a cold sore appearing, yet one day in september last year, i ignored it (thinking it wasn’t that serious) and gave my girlfriend oral sex. afterwards, i thought i saw something on my lip and freaked the fuck out. like i genuinely didn’t sleep for days and cried so hard for hours on end. she was clearly upset with me for not mentioning the tingling to her and thought i could’ve possibly maybe transferred it to her. well nothing ever popped up on my lip, but since that day i haven’t been able to give her oral sex (we’re two women so giving head is a main intimate thing for us both) and it’s hard to kiss her because every time i think about the thought of a cold sore, my lip tingles. and i looked it up, and it says “if your lip tingles, a cold sore will pop up 48 hours later at least”. so when i feel the “tingle” i wait 2 days to kiss/be intimate with her. and nothing comes of it because i think the “tingle” is usually my anxiety. but i can’t decipher at the moment. so this cycle of “tingle > no sex/kisses for two days > no cold sore > “tingle” >” and so on so forth has been going on for a year and i don’t know what the fuck to do. my life is so fucking draining right now because we used to have such a deep connection sexually and now i’m letting her down and it’s so fucking hard because i don’t want to lose her. but i’m trying so hard i just don’t know what to do i’m breathing so hard just writing this. just someone please point me in the right direction.