- Date posted
- 34w
struggling with possible ROCD
anyone else have ROCD that has no desire to kiss their boyfriend, I almost feel like an ick when I do, I'm scared. Help!
anyone else have ROCD that has no desire to kiss their boyfriend, I almost feel like an ick when I do, I'm scared. Help!
ROCD can lead to a lot of different reactions to those we are partnered with. Maybe we fear not being near them or touching them. Maybe we fear the reasons we want to be physical with them, therefore trying to not be until we know that we have the "Just Right" reason. No matter what, ROCD is a jerk. If you are noticing symptoms of RPCD, and want to get help for it, I hope you will consider hitting that treatment button on the app and let us try to help you!.
@Patrick McGrath Does this kinda sound like ROCD
hi! i’m not necessarily having the exact same issue but i’m under the same boat of not wanting to be around my bf right now. just know that it’s normal for feelings to fluctuate and sometimes you won’t wanna do things and sometimes you will! if you wanna be with him just tell that feeling/thought to kick rocks
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
When i have this scenario in my head : kissing a girl in my bed , i can image it very much mike i like it and it will come naturally I dont know if i really like it and i dont like that i like the idea Or That i just dont like the idea Also feeling really weird and maybe even sort of disgusted of my bf when i image the same scenario with him, or i feel like i cant image kissing him Wtf is this ?
I am struggling so much with ROCD symptoms, and lately everything feels more and more real, like I am finally “realizing” that I don’t love my boyfriend anymore. When I think about him, about him speaking kindly to me, or about being with him — I feel no warmth inside me, no happiness, no calm. This makes me panic, and I start thinking that maybe this is the truth, that I don’t love him anymore or never did. It feels like my mind is connecting everything to “prove” I don’t love him — I even struggle now to remember good moments with him or any time when I felt love. When I am in his arms, instead of comfort, I feel anxious and disconnected. When he says sexual things, I feel disgust or nothing. I also had a really hard moment with my mom yesterday — I told her I don’t feel love anymore, and she told me that I am lying to myself, that I am hurting both him and myself. I keep hearing her words in my mind now. On top of this, someone on NOCD told me to focus on traits I admire about him, but when I try, nothing comes to mind and this scares me even more — like maybe I never truly loved him, I just liked the idea of having a boyfriend. I know I have read a lot about ROCD, I know about ERP, I know I should “let the feelings be there” and not fight them. But even though I know this, I feel so stuck, hopeless, and burned out. The thoughts feel so real now — like I have a gut feeling that I don’t love him anymore, that I’ve changed, and I’m just forcing myself. I am also afraid that deep down, maybe I don’t want to love him anymore, I just want to feel “normal” again — and this terrifies me. Lately I feel like everything feels more and more real — like the thoughts and this horrible feeling are the truth that I was denying all along. Now I feel almost numb, like I have accepted this horrible idea and I can’t connect to my emotions any I feel desperate. I don’t know what is real anymore. Please, if anyone can relate or give some guidance, I would be very grateful. 💔 (edited)
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