i’m tired

my ocd has been all over the place the past few days and it’s really exhausting. it’s convincing me i’m lesbian, im racist, i don’t like my bf, or im dying of 5 different diseases. im so tired. i’ve been more physical and keeping myself busy so im not sure why its acting up. within the past hour my ocd told me that i secretly like girls and i cant date my bf and that im racist bc i didn’t think a guy who is a poc was attractive. i feel like a horrible person and i feel like it won’t stop.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 22w

OCD does this. This is just OCD doing its job. Your job is to keep going about your day, despite the fact that OCD is rattling around in the background. Just let it bring all those thoughts and ideas to you. Tell your OCD, “Great, thanks for bringing me these crazy, false thoughts today! You are welcome to bring them all you want!” This just messes with your OCD. And it teaches your brain not to fear the thoughts. The point is that you have to allow the thoughts to flow freely through your mind without trying to fix them—and you just keep going in with life. It stinks that OCD brings all that up. But it is okay. You just keep moving, friend!!

matchalover123

Date posted: 22w

@Tea and Honey thank you for this i really needed to motivation today

AJ Rose

Date posted: 22w

Well you are in fact not racist and like your boyfriend which is why you’re with him. I’m sorry you’re going through this I hope you can convince yourself that you are not your thoughts and that they are debilitating and egodystonic.

matchalover123

Date posted: 22w

@AJ Rose thank you i’m trying!!

teetee333

Date posted: 22w

If you were what your thoughts are trying to convince you of, you wouldn’t feel guilty for thinking it. The reason you feel bad is because it goes against your morals and values, you aren’t these thoughts. You’re a good person ❤️

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 22w

Ps, I love matcha too!! I was getting it several times a week at a coffee stand until I realized it was really too expensive for that!! Hahaha, lol

matchalover123

Date posted: 22w

@Tea and Honey lol!! it is so expensive but soooo good

Meg4n

Date posted: 16w

so-ocd seems to be flaring up again

I haven’t posted on here in a few days because I was feeling better but the past two days I’ve climbed my way back down the rabbit hole it seems. There’s this guy that I’m interested in and he seems to be interested in me. He keeps calling me pretty and how he’d like to meet me (he’s friends with my friends but I haven’t met him properly yet lmao) But I keep getting thoughts like “you’re not interested, you like women” and so on. I was feeling giddy about the whole thing up until two days ago where everything just seemed to shut off like my attraction, excitement and so on. I can’t believe I’m going through this again and I’m really trying to accept the thoughts but it’s so debilitating as I really want a bf but my brain keeps passing through thoughts that I do not want at all. Does anyone relate? Or have any coping strategies to help?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 16w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

Vee <3

Date posted: 13w

Heyyyy!

So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.

Sexual Orientation OCD

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