Anyone wanna share their story of when they discovered they had ocd?

I know it started for me when I was a kid. Really young. Always feeling guilty about my thoughts or actions. I would call them “bad thoughts” when talking to my mom about them. I always felt relieved when I would confess my intrusive thoughts and behavior to her. She’d always talk me through it. I had stuffed animals that I felt were each connected to a family member. If someone touched any of my stuffed animals I believed it would effect the person that the stuffed animal represented for me. I couldn’t leave the house without drinking water or brushing my teeth right before walking out the door. Certain prayers I would repeat many times a day in order to feel safe. Having to touch certain things I saw while walking through a store or mall just to feel “complete” or normal. As I got older it turned into thoughts about my face and appearance. Then harm ocd then religion ocd.. then into existential ocd. Theme to theme. It’s been a roller coaster since I can remember.

I have really good days and really bad days. Sometimes I’ll go many months without even 1 ocd spike and then something will trigger it and it’ll hit me hard. I’m learning to face it, accept it, and most importantly pray through. Also talking about it out loud with close friends, family and my boyfriend helps so much!

When I was 8 years old I had a classmate in school who moved and I randomly began freaking out asking myself "what if I killed her but I don't remember!?" It was so obsessing that I was even having false memories of killing her. I broke down in tears to my mom and sister and they both looked at me like I had lost my mind. As time passed, I moved on to hocd. Then I moved on to scrupulosity. Then pocd. Then rocd. I've had all types of ocd ?

As early as around 8 I knew I had ‘rituals’ but they were a secret because I knew it was unusual behaviour.

I would stay up all night after my dad died because I was obsessing over whether someone would break into our house or the house would catch on fire. I was diagnosed with ocd then. And then a year and a half ago I started having other intrusive thoughts and I eventually realized that it was OCD. Even though I was diagnosed young I never actually understood what it was until last year.

Got a sinus infection. Started worrying it wouldn’t go away. Then the worry got worse then the sinus infection. Then the theme switched to religion and morality. That was a long time - and many theme switches - ago, when I was 19.

I discovered I had ocd few years ago but they were mis diagnosing me . Since I’m going through self harm/suicidal ocd they kept telling me I was suicidal and depressed but I didn’t feel depressed or suicidal I just kept getting the thoughts over and over but never wanted to do any of them they just caused great distress and anxiety. But I been through all the other ocds but just this one I’m currently going through has been the toughest to get over with.

Wow JM7, I can totally relate to almost everything

@MissK preach! They were weird in your own head and didn’t want to tell anyone...