- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I was just explaining to my friend today how scary mental obsessions can be. She was telling me her other friend with ocd has to touch the light switch a certain amount of times before she can successfully turn off a light. For myself, I get swallowed whole by my own brain and harmful thoughts, thoughts that I’m evil or a horrible person, I don’t deserve my life etc. This last spike I’ve been dealing with real event ocd, it’s the first time I’ve ever experienced this theme, and it’s horrible. Having an obsession based off of a past mistake you DID make plays into so many of the toxic traits of this mental illness, because you can no longer deny that you are your intrusive thoughts. It was horrible for me at the lowest point in this spike, I was confessing my entire life and everything I’d ever done so that someone can tell me I’m not evil. That led to delusions because then I felt like the people who knew my secrets were now teaming up and plotting to kill me behind my back. I was terrified to go to my family thanksgiving because I thought my mom was going to kill me. I was struggling with false memories because the obsession with the memory of my mistake was so strong, and I couldn’t remember every detail so then I started imagining I did worse than I think I did. Then of course the physiological affects from that was nausea, fatigue, fast heart rate. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat and I was constantly using the washroom (anxiety poops). I dropped a ton of weight in a couple of weeks and felt so physically ill. I had to be put on antipsychotics to get some sleep at night.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I work in the food industry and have always had a strong passion for it. I’m a baker and my OCD attacked food for me. I am struggling with contamination OCD and have a fear that all food is contaminated or covered in harmful bacteria. I dropped 10 lbs in 2 weeks and still can’t eat. Water isn’t good either cause I’m afraid there are parasites in it. On the outside everyone sees a skilled baker who is truly passionate about food. And while this is still true, I’m finding it really hard to even explain my struggles to anyone because in everyone’s eyes I’m fine... how can you be afraid of food and make it everyday?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I was so depressed and all I wanted was to find a support group because people just don’t understand it, and when I googled my area and OCD support group, the only pop up was “OCD Cleaning Company”, it made me so annoyed.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Doctor not diagnosing me with ocd and instead with ocpd because I have no rituals that could be seen and they were all in my head
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I have combined type ADHD and pure O. It’s wild. I’m a complete germaphobe, but I leave trash and clothes on the ground and I am extremely unorganized most of the time. I have to bleach my dishes to get them clean, and then rise them 7 times to get the bleach off so it doesn’t poison me. I have over 20 alarms set in the morning and they are all even numbers, but I also believe I have a better chance of waking up if the numbers aren’t a :30 or a :00.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I realize this doesn’t sound “pure O” but I really am a mainly obsessive person. It’s hard to keep many compulsions with the adhd. Lol
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Brynquin, I also have an alarm thing! I have to set alarms every 5 minutes starting 3-4 hours before I have to wake up. It’s super annoying cause I am waking up at 6 am for a 10 am shift at work. Or worse, waking up at 1 am for a 4 am shift when I can’t fall asleep until 12 am cause of my intrusive thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I was told I had depression rather than OCD because of self-harm obsessions. My OCD was so bad it got to the point where I was running out of most of my classes. Another story/comment. My OCD was really bad in 3/4. I was vomiting everyday and I’d gone to the doctor and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. It wasn’t until this year that I was diagnosed with OCD and started getting help (4-5 years later). Now I’m behind in simpler areas of maths (times tables) because I missed most of 3/4.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Here’s another one too: I got into a car accident when I was 16. A car making a left turn across a highway hit me while I was driving exactly the speed limit (50mph) and paying perfect attention to the road. OCD reminds me of that event every time I drive. Hold your hands a certain way on the wheel or you’ll drive off the road and hurt someone. Don’t drive 50 mph or you’ll get into a car accident. drive from point A to point B as fast as you can so there is less time for your car to explode. And many more... but each of these thoughts connect back to that car accident and I’m stuck doing compulsions every time I drive.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Also, my biggest theme is sexual exploitation/abuse and I’m a pan sexual, polyamorous person who is very sexually active. It’s not great when the obsessions start while I’m having sex :/ but I try to live!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you guys so much for sharing your stories! It means a lot to me!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Also because of the writing rule of three I need at least one more story from someone, so keep sending ‘em in!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
So I've had OCD since I was a child. Like really young. The first intrusive thought I can remember was when I was 5. It just keeps getting worse and lately they've been making me physically ill or throwing me into extreme panic attacks again ( ones where I can't move my body ) the other night I thought God was trying to kill me because I was thinking about ending myself from OCD+ life issues but in reality I was just having a panic attack😭😭it affects me daily. It gets a little better with therapy but I don't see therapy coming into my life any time soon and I'm not even sure if I would want to go (for multiple reasons). To wrap this up if you have severe ocd can you tell me what it's like?? I don't want to label anything without proper research and hearing others perspectives. Thank you!! <3 (My profile says all of my subtypes if that helps any)
- Date posted
- 19w ago
I have a lot of thoughts about the universe, and they’re overwhelming—like being caught in a rip current, except it’s all inside my head. Most of the time, they’re about how small we are, how there really isn’t a “we” because our bodies aren’t truly ours—we’re just bacteria, cells, and microbes. The thoughts spiral, deeper and deeper, smaller and smaller, coiling until suddenly, I’m pulled under, drowning in a whirlpool. I’ve never felt like this before, and I’m convinced I’ve been faking it somehow. For the past few weeks, my OCD has been worse than it’s ever been in my 20 years of life. Or maybe I’m just more aware of it now. Has anyone else had their OCD suddenly get really bad? Does it ever end—if it even can? I’ve convinced myself that my intrusive thoughts aren’t actually intrusive, that my OCD is a choice, and that everything I do is intentional. As for compulsions, I don’t have the typical “If I don’t do ____ then ____ will happen” kind of thoughts. Instead, my brain simply commands, “Do ____,” and I always give in. It’s so loud in my head, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m an imposter. Like I don’t belong here—like my presence on this app is an intrusion, invalidating everyone else’s struggles just by downloading it and daring to post. If anyone feels that way, if you think I’m intruding, I’m sorry. I only came here because I have no one to share my diagnosis with. Pouring my thoughts out, hoping someone might understand, feels less suffocating than journaling. Journaling is like letting a wound fester—each word burying the thoughts deeper, leaving them to decay in silence, for nobody to ever read but myself.
- Date posted
- 8w ago
Has anyone experienced their reputation affected or misunderstood because of a societally taboo OCD theme? Others catching wind of your obsessions and misinterpreting it, assuming the worst? I’m intentionally keeping it vague because I don’t want my specific situation to get reassured, but it’s been a real tough pill to swallow knowing that people close to me (and anyone else they might talk to) think of me differently. I’m unwilling to share about my OCD because I feel pretty confident it will be taken as an excuse or denial, and feels compulsive and reassurance seeking. Let me know if anyone here has experienced anything like it, how they handled it, exposures you did.
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