- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
If you check to see if you're in love, you'll be unable to feel love even though it's there. Telling your brain "come on, show me how much I love him" is putting too much pressure on yourself to feel something, so you only feel anxious and definitely not loving. As long as there are no actual relationship issues (because you haven't mentioned any), just do your best to not do any compulsions, let your life go back to normal and I think you'll eventually think "oh hey, I do really like him so much" But then the problem might be that if you start thinking about it, even in a positive way, you might start doubting yourself all over again...
- Date posted
- 5y
I very much relate to this
- Date posted
- 5y
thank you so much. i really appreciate this.
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- 5y
@landhouse No problem, I really hope it helps!!
- Date posted
- 4y
what if there are past problems in the relationship.. could that drive rocd?
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I go through this exact thing often and it comes in waves. Sometimes im head over heels in love and then the next moment i get an intrusive thought or my emotions get misbalanced and i question everything about my relationship. I experience rocd often
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- 5y
okay thank you ?
- Date posted
- 4y
SAME I'M GOING THROUGH THIS EXACT PHASE RN BUT I FEEL NUMB IT STRESSES ME OUT
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- 3y
@alexandra.rocd same
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- 3y
I am going through this. I recommend a YouTube channel: Awaken into Love. Remember love is a choice. Not a feeling. The feeling is infatuation, and that doesn't last all the time it will happen in spurts. Please show yourself compassion, because this healing process and battle are really tough. I suffer this as well. Know that love is something you must choose daily and even on the days your brain makes you feel nothing, know you are strong and you've got this.
- Date posted
- 5y
It sounds like what I'm going through. I have rocd right now too, and it sounds like what you're experiencing is rocd
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- 5y
thank you ?
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- 5y
IM GOING THROUGH THIS RIGHT NOW
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- 5y
THIS EXACT THING
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- 5y
i hope it gets better for you i’m sorry i know how hard and frustrating and sad it can be
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- 5y
Im going through this now,unfortunatly we will always have this nothing is perfect so what ive done is ive accepted it. And if there Are no Relationship problems then ignore the thoughts. This is very common for alot of ocd people like myself
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm going through this now. I know from past experience when you're actively trying to feel a feeling you won't feel it. I try to remind myself of that.
- Date posted
- 2y
I’m going thru this right now , can anyone please give me advice
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- 5y
SO RELATABLE YES
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 13w
for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.
- Date posted
- 12w
I just read a post that said “people with ROCD know they love their partners” right when I read it I got this horrible anxiety feeling rush down into my stomach. My partner asked me to be his girlfriend in December and literally since that night It’s like a switch of doubt turned on and I was suffering with consistent doubt about loving my partner, I felt like I didn’t feel anything anymore and I didn’t know what to do and through out the past months it has been an absolute wave of things going on. He is aware of my ocd and in a way I’m glad that this happened because I have had harm ocd for the past 4-5 years and had no idea what it was until 2 months ago when I got an OCD therapist, I just thought I was crazy so I’m happy to know I’m not. Buuuuttt back to the ROCD, my main thoughts and feelings are about not feeling like i love my partner anymore and if we’re compatible, I hyper fixate on the weight he’s gained in the past few months and all the bad food he eats, I think about if our lives even align, we have very different views on some things but are we too different, what if we really don’t know each other at all and we thought we did because we’ve been best friends for 10 years. This is so frustrating because I’ve gotten to the point where my anxiety is barely there, I was have constant outrageous anxiety for 3-4 months and now I’ve gotten to this numb, I literally feel absolutely nothing feeling and it’s not even with just my boyfriend it’s with everything, I just don’t feel happy with anything anymore, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. We got into an argument the other day about how rude I was and I didn’t even feel sad or apologetic when he was talking to me about it, and I couldn’t stop crying, like I just don’t feel anything. I feel like there’s something really wrong with me. All I can describe it as is “blank” does that make sense? I feel like a bad person and I feel like we’re going to break up and I can tell how sad he is. All I do know is that I don’t want to break up. But anytime I think about him or anything along the lines of my ROCD everything like freaks me out. I like scream “NO” and “STOP” in my head all the time. But it’s starting to really feel real. I’m so scared, and now I read that post that said that “people with ROCD know they love their partner” but WHAT IF I DONT KNOW!!! I WANT TO LOVE MY PARTNER. I want to feel the love I had for him before this all started. We were so happy, and we didn’t even get the honey moon phase because my ROCD started right when we made it official. This is seriously so crippling.
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