Blocked

@sanshine It wont ever be okay... nothing ever is okay... i dont know if you'll block me next... or if someone whose been kind enough to care for me and say that im not a P changing their minds and blocking me because of it... i dont know who to trust... im so alone...

@LichKing What does this mean...?

@Givenup Think about it. If you stop believing good things will happen, you’ll be less disappointed when they inevitably don’t. Trying to be happy is the surest way to not be. Abandon any such expectation. What’s more, if you keep hoping that things will improve, or that you’ll be happy, loved, married, etc., you are actively undermining what you can have (I.e., making peace with life as it is) with what you can’t (all the usual things we want).

@JordTheNord I dont know why they blocked me on here... they just did... i dont know if they think im what my pocd and real events ocd is saying about me... or for some other reason... but im genuinely spiraling because of this.

@Givenup Unfortunate and terrible as that feels it is a good thing that you are aware of it! There are obviously ppl who have not blocked you. So that’s a good thing. What if they blocked you because of something completely unrelated to your POCD?

@JordTheNord Then they wojld have at least told me... but they do this and now it makes me hate my life more

@Givenup What makes you think they would have told you?

@JordTheNord I would've liked something along the lines of "hey, im blocking you because this is overwhelming"... and now that they didnt its making me think that they think im a MAP or P...

@Givenup I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can only imagine how painful this is. You, however, suggested a preference for what you think would be a reasonable explanation for blocking you. Unfortunately for all of us we cannot depend on others to be like us so an assumption on how we think someone ought to behave doesn’t mean they will and they’re intentions could be completely different then what we deduce from said situation. The not knowing part and, of course, by habit the OCD is kicking in and flooding your consciousness with “they did it because I’m this and if they didn’t they would do this”. So focus on the fact you’re just having a rough time with OCD and know that what you’re thinking isn’t necessarily even true.

@JordTheNord They've reassured me that I wasnt a MAP or a P before... several times... when you say "you, however, suggested a preference for what you think would be a reasonable explanation for blocking you."... it triggers me because i thought you were calling me a MAP or a P for a second... I genuinely try my best... the last thing this 23 year old wants is to ever be attracted to minors or anyone underage... im genuinely tired because why block me at all... It makes me think they abandoned me... that they dont care about me... and that they think im the worst case scenario... for something i DONT want to be...

@Givenup I was not calling you that. It does hurt when we try our best and we seem to not be making any headway. It really does hurt. Terribly. Some ppl are just not able to handle all that we are and I don’t mean OCD ppl I literally mean all humans struggle to handle certain situations and behaviors with other humans regardless of the intensity or seriousness of the behavior. Not only must we believe in ourself but we must take accountability for our actions. Which includes a variety of behaviors: talking to much, talking to loud, not being skilled in communication(not even addressing issues well or being honest) a specific job, not listening well, not taking accountability, constantly complaining (always being negative). Honestly what you’re experiencing is great practice to sit with your OCD.