Im tired of knowing that people have blocked me on NOCD for my pocd / real events ocd posts... Im tired of knowing that I have real events that are POCD related... Im tired of getting intrusive thoughts and false memories of the worst case scenario for my pocd and real events ocd being true... Im so tired of it all...
There are free OCD support groups online where they meet online. It varies by timezone and some are open to public or just requires you to email them so they can give the password to enter the room. It varies in hosting on like zoom or Google meets. You do not need to share during these groups and can just listen in to gain wisdom until you find a specific group you do feel more comfortable to share in and stay in. I used to go to multiple groups every day until I found one that resonated to me the most or just any group when I have tough days. For those who block you on anywhere, most of the time is nothing personal. Some people do it on accident, think they may recognize you in person so they want anonymity ensured by blocking, or is uncomfortable with POCD even if they have it too since OCD makes it easy to believe "if I read someone's OCD experiences, what if I obtain that too?". I've confronted and surveyed others why they block and is usually silly things like "they mistyped the word there versus their" or a security blanket for emotions "their username the same as my Labrador that passed away when I was a child". Either way I can hear how tired you are and I hope you find more moments of peace soon. You've overcome each time so far and OCD needs to knock it off so you can deserve some break to let you feel human instead of thinking how to human. You got this.
@Anonymous If you've seen my pocd / real events ocd story you'd understand... i dont ever want to ever be a MAP or a P in any way...
@Givenup I haven't seen your other posts. Maybe, maybe not on knowing your story that I would understand. I just know everyone's plight is still heavy for the person handling it whether or not their story is fully shared. Some people find closure without ever sharing which really is it's own luck when epiphany is able to break through. I don't think people wants to be a MAP or P. You clearly show you care about others and I think that's more than what most people are able to share. Some people can be callous, yet true character is you have had these reactions and responded to not actually follow through to the point the other person was harmed. Other parents had to actually handle minors to stop the act and even then humans heal and got help and it never happened again. You don't have to be alone working through these thoughts that seems so demanding to be so hyperaware what did, could, maybe, should happen. Having these thoughts or guilt pass by over time helps the thoughts feel less intense and often, yet I think having an actual person who you could resonate with can really help do those first steps to confront the alarms that keeps going off in your head. It helped me.
@Anonymous Ive been trying to text you my IRL story but NOCD keeps shadowbanning my posts... if you want to see my story... then look at my most recent post...
I understand I also can't afford therapy I took nathan perterson master your ocd online learning course it's good check it out ,ocd-anxiety.com, now I don't have pocd or experienced it as yet however I know what you are going through at your core ,this question I am going to ask you is very Important in how you answer it the goal of ocd treatment is to accept uncertainty-meaning can you live in a world where your fear can come true or happen? ,yes I understand pocd goes against your morals and values rightly so ,again can you answer my question on accepting uncertainty?
@No matric certificate No. Id rather be extinct.
Can you afford to see or are seeing a ERP ocd therapist?
@No matric certificate I cant afford to see one
I agree @Given up,I highly recommend you watch Santi on YouTube channel specifically the one where jhon greyson talks about ocd and the role of uncertainty and also iocdf YouTube channel-lunch and learn when ERP goes wrong ,both helped me understand why I need to accept uncertainty-meaning I choose to live in a world where any of my fears can come true or happen,now I understand therapy is very expensive I'm in the same boat as you ,for now try and get some ocd self help books like freedom from ocd by jhon greyson etc ,
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
I genuinely feel so alone and miserable... i had to miss out on an exam because of how severe my pocd got... im currently sick with a fever... and right now my pocd and real events ocd is telling me that im a MAP and a P because of my real events that are pocd related... and people have blocked me on NOCD... so that makes it worse for me... I get scared that Ill be cancelled and demonized because of my real events OCD and POCD situations... i dont ever want to be a MAP or a P in any way... and it legitimately scares me because the last thing i want is to be a P or a MAP...
I think these are the worst real events ive ever done... and Im so triggered because the last thing I want is to be a a P or a MAP... im triggered because I dont want the people ive become friends with on NOCD to block me because they think im a P or a MAP... thats the last thing I want... When I was 18, i unknowingly consumed l*licon a couple times... I didnt know what the term was at the time... I thought that since it was on a public site, and it had millions of views, that i thought it was safe to consume... when I did my research when I was 19 onto what exactly the term was... I was horrified and mortified... I puked and gagged and felt numb for days... it's been 5 years since then... im 23... and the last thing I want is to ever be exposed to this kind of content ever again... let alone consume it... I should've been more knowledgeable and it's my fault... my pocd and real events ocd call me a P and a MAP when these are the LAST things i want to be... I know what I did was wrong and I regret it immensely till this day... and im so overwhelmed...
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