Pocd and guilt

@Connie Byers I vented to two minors... one of them was the 17 year old leader of the support group... the other was younger but she was a part of the support group... i vented to the latter twice... she said she was uncomfortable both times... I blocked her after the second time... i kept asking the 17 year old support and reassurance for my 18+ explicit HOCD situations because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue anything because of my age...

@Connie Byers The last thing I want is to ever be a MAP or a p3do in any way... im so scared of that... I dont ever want kids... i avoid kids and minors actively... i get paranoid about a cute woman being a minor or not and i get scared... i dont ever want to ever be a MAP or a P in any way...

@Connie Byers Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most... I dont ever want to ever be a MAP or a P in any way...

@Connie Byers I hope you can respond... please dont block me... i dont ever want to ever be a MAP or a P...

@Givenup This is reassurance but I see that you're very stressed right now. You was seeking comfort and reassurance back then, you was terrified that you wasn't who you thought you were. That means that you're extremely caring and DON'T want to be a p or anything like that. If you was a p, you wouldn't care. But you do care, and you're extremely careful. I'd say stop seeking reassurance, because the truth is you haven't done anything wrong. You need to stop seeking reassurance, because you will never win to ocd. Even with reassurance your ocd will make sure to find something else that will make you doubt yourself again. Best of luck on your journey love, I hope this puts you at rest💕

@Connie Byers Thank you... Im sorry for messaging you so constantly... I just feel anxious and empty about this at the same time... the last thing i want is to be attracted to minors or kids in any way... i just wanna be with an adult woman...

@Givenup It's also obvious that you're in no way shape or form a danger to anyone, so I'd recommend you stop avoiding kids in the way of literally walking away the moment you see one or whatever you're doing. I'm not saying stare at them and walk their way obviously lol don't get me wrong here. I'm recommending you to keep on walking wherever you're going and pass them as a form of ERP. You will feel terrified, yes, but you know deep down you won't do anything to them because your brain is literally terrified that it will. that's very common in ocd, but it doesn't mean in any way that it's true. Try the ERP, i know it's terrifying, but it'll do you the world of good love

@Givenup It's okay don't worry about that! Sometimes I'm the same, so i completely understand. And yes, I know what feelings you're talking about, and yes it's daunting. But you will be okay. You're safe. You deserve a happy life

@rainbows Yeah... but still... I know I made a mistake with my situation... but the last thing I want to be is what my POCD says about me...

@Givenup We all make mistakes🫂 let’s try and detach for a moment. Don’t think of this mistake as who you are as person or jump to the conclusion of it defining you and beating yourself up but just think of it as an action, nothing but an action or mistake that happened. I know it’s difficult and I’m more than sorry for what you’re going through and how you’re feeling. I’ve seen your posts around here a couple of times and it makes me upset to see you like this. I know it’s been difficult for you and I can’t imagine how it is daily for you having to deal with this constantly almost all the time. I’m sure you’re aware that having reassurance constantly, makes things worse for ocd. We’re all here for you including me. You don’t annoy us with your stories are your testimony for how far you’ve come. You remind us and many others that we’re not alone and we’re here for one another as one. Your story is someone else’s strength and inspiration to keep growing and going🙏🏽 I’ve made mistakes and spiralled for days about them ( Specifically childhood mistakes ) and my ocd turns and twists a lot of things and tells me that I’m this or I’m that or sometimes false memory comes into the picture. I struggle with sitting with it and it’s hard but the best thing you can do is separate yourself from your ocd and what it tells you. You aren’t your ocd nor what it tells you. You’re a beautiful soul who’s trying your best to keep going and pushing through. Like someone said earlier in the comments, if you weren’t a good person, you wouldn’t be spiralling like this or overthinking and stressing about every single detail.🫂

@rainbows You’re pretty much like a virtual family here, all of us are🫂

@King silly I vented to two minors in the support group... one of them was the 17 year old leader of the support group... the other was younger but she was a part of the support group... i vented to the latter twice... she said she was uncomfortable both times... I blocked her after the second time... i kept asking the 17 year old support and reassurance for my 18+ explicit HOCD situations because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue anything because of my age...

@Givenup Two years really isn’t a bad thing. doesn’t make you a bad person