Help

@OneDayAtATimee You think so? I’m trying to think rationally here but I can’t 😭

@Idontknow Yeah :) I’m 100% sure your OCD has just flipped the scenario, as I remember you worrying about m*lesting your brother in his sleep, only a week ago. OCD loves to change small details like this And it really sucks but no matter how much we try to rationalize our way out of OCD, it never works :( OCD is not a logic disorder sadly

@OneDayAtATimee I still feel like I did something like what if I was actually humping him?

@Idontknow Yeah unfortunately OCD will come up with a million different scenarios we could worry about. I’m gonna leave that question unanswered, only to help you :) No amount of reassurance we’ve given these months have solved it (because OCD is not a logic disorder- we can’t argue with it) To recover, at some point we have to motivate ourselves and say “enough is enough.” In these moments I say to myself: Am I gonna let OCD make me run around in circles searching for answers for the rest of my life? Or am I gonna force myself to drop the rope of tug of war arguing with OCD and do ERP instead, which will finally get my life back? My therapist has gone 15 years without purposefully doing compulsions 🙏 If she can do it, anyone can ❤️

@OneDayAtATimee That’s what my therapist said and she wants me out of this app also 😞 I would literally cry if I can’t confess something These gronial response are so annoying too because I can’t enjoy a song or dancing im so upset

@OneDayAtATimee I’m going to an iop also because my psychiatrist thinks my OCD is severe

@Idontknow You’re right- resisting compulsions is one of the hardest things we will ever do, I won’t lie about that. 😅 But it has to be done to recover I want the best treatment for you so I agree with your therapist about this app. I fear that you’ve only been using it as a compulsion and this is interfering with the treatment that you’re paying for and working hard on. We want you to get the most out of treatment while you’re doing it 🙏 When we do compulsions while in treatment- we’re extending the time we have to do it. And ERP sucks! 😆 It’s painful work! You wanna heal with ERP as soon as you can and get that extreme pain over with by doing ERP correctly. So that motivates me even more to resist compulsions during treatment If you believe you need IOP as well- do what’s best for you ❤️ Whatever happens, I wish you the very best regardless :)

@OneDayAtATimee Thank you very much, I appreciate your words and thank you for not judging me!!

@Idontknow You’re so welcome! 🙏😇

@OneDayAtATimee Hi can you please help me please

@Idontknow Hi friend! :) Sure thing. Whats wrong?

@OneDayAtATimee Maybe I have impulse control disorder how is all this OCD? People with ocd don’t deal with impulses

@Idontknow I see! Thanks for telling me 👍 I don’t know much about impulse control disorder sorry and I’m not allowed to or able to diagnose, so it’s best to have a one on one meeting with licensed therapist. But I can say that lots of people with OCD experience intrusive urges- which make us feel like it’s hard to control our actions. For example- back when I struggled deeply with Harm Ocd, it felt like I was holding myself back from doing terrible hinge I was obsessing about such as harming someone or blurting inappropriate words out loud I can also say that a lot of people with OCD have obsessions with possibly having other disorders or diseases that they don’t actually have. Very common ones ppl obsess about are schizophrenia, psychotic disorder, cancer, covid, etc. The list can go on forever as illness can be obsessed about. So it’s possible that this is an obsession of yours

@OneDayAtATimee I am so sorry, you probably think I’m a pervert but I had to tell because I can’t stop thinking about it I don’t want to be a predator or a rapist I’m worried because why do I have these impulses like yesterday I was dealing with something I’m not sure what is it but my dad was on the left lane on the road and I wanted him to go to the right it was making me uncomfortable and was relieved when he actually did and kept tapping dirty spots like I’m confused because sometimes I fee confident that I have Pocd but then I remember the thoughts because why would I want to watch an explicit scene in front of my cousin? How odd or say inappropriate stuff to minors even having urges to do sexual faces like what is this? It makes sense to me what you’ve dealt with, it’s like a losing control type of thing thank you for making feel better because I feel so alone and I apologize for bothering you I literally wrote this to chat gpt and said it was a red flag that I wanted to watch explicit content around my cousin which I get because why would I be into it in the moment

@Idontknow - No judgment from me at all! No worries about "bothering" me either. You definitely aren't! Hope you're having a nice Sunday as well :) I've definitely had POCD as well in the past so I can relate to your struggles. We can't control our intrusive feelings or intrusive urges. Sometimes I feel like I "want" taboo things as well, or other things I fear that feel immoral. All we can control is our actions to try to make sure we're not doing anything that could potentially be harmful. If you're working with a therapist, I encourage you to bring up these worries with her (or him) as well because they are much more knowledgeable than I am on Ocd haha and I think they would be able to provide more education and context for you on this :)

@OneDayAtATimee I’m really not all I did was sleep kept waking up and went back to sleep I just can’t wait to speak to a therapist because what if I did was illegal? The fact that I was into it though while my cousin was there You can relate??? I thought I was alone 😞 You’re right our actions is what matters I understand thoughts are just thoughts I still get upset I feel like asking my cousin if I did something bad to her

@Idontknow No pressure to tell your therapist anything you’re uncomfortable with :) POCD brings fear to sooo many OCD sufferers so you’re def not alone and I’ve also seen countless ppl on this app struggling with similar things as you 💕 Asking your cousin would be a reassurance seeking compulsion btw and since she doesn’t have OCD, she won’t understand what you’re going through most likely. Do you have a trusted adult in your family that you can vent to about your OCD struggles?

@OneDayAtATimee Did you read my other response I think I’m very much alone I feel like a predator I’m so upset, I don’t have any one to talk to I come here to get reassurance

@Idontknow I’m sorry to hear 🫶 It’s totally understandable to feel the urge seek reassurance when you have OCD ❤️ You are definitely not alone as pretty much everyday I see people with POCD posting about their fears of being a predator, a p*do, a molester, etc. There’s soooo many ppl here with POCD who can relate to you :) With Ocd we can’t control what it makes us “want” but all we can do is control our actions

@OneDayAtATimee But I feel like I acted on it because I said those things to a minor

@Idontknow I don’t know the full context of what happened sorry so I don’t know what you said, but I bet it wasn’t as bad in reality 💕

@OneDayAtATimee Not sure if it’ll trigger you I’m sorry I need to say everything because I feel like I’m going to be a R in the future all I do is sleep I’m so upset I’m remembering everything and I’m just like omg I’m a terrible person I should be K I feel like calling the police about this or confessing to 311 I think I’m a P I’m remembering everything I did in the past My moms bf was talking about condom and some girls parents they went up stairs in the room and their daughter went up and the lamp was on the floor and I had asked when she went there did they on their clothes on and I look back at that like I’m definitely a P Or when I randomly said taco my bell in front of her and she looked at me These are probably p because I was unintentionally trying to be harmful but I look back at everything and it’s like I’m definitely going to be a R in the future I have acted on it

@OneDayAtATimee When I was with a family friend I said Taco my bell and she looked at me or I asked if her parents was wearing clothes because I heard my moms bf talking about that he has c*ndoms in his car and they went upstairs

@Idontknow Thank you for explaining ❤️ You can’t change the past and you made mistakes about your actions :) But you didn’t commit crimes. I think about of this is OCD rumination so it’s probably not healthy for you and you telling the police would be just another “confessing” compulsion like you’ve been doing on this sub for a few weeks now. To feel better, I encourage you to work on ERP with your therapist and ask for healthy coping strategies to improve your OCD such as resisting compulsions 😇🙏

@OneDayAtATimee It’s upsetting me I was depressed many things at once it’s crazy

@Idontknow Yeah I don’t blame you, Ocd feels horrible! But you got this, friend! 💪 Just keep trying to resist compulsions as much as you can :)

@OneDayAtATimee Thank you for helping me!! You made me feel better ❤️‍🩹

@Idontknow - Aw you're so welcome! Happy to help :D

@OneDayAtATimee I’m so upset I feel like I am actually a p because I saw this little girl she said hi and I said hi and in my head I was like she’s so pretty and when I sat to get my nails done it’s like I intentionally thought of inappropriate stuff about her then I felt uncomfortable that she was in the salon and I wanted her to leave when I saw she wasn’t there I felt relieved I went home and was having urges and I was trying to not let it ruin my day but it’s like I don’t know why sometimes it feels like I want to think about them like that like I’m confused because when I think of a man like that I actually feel arousal but I don’t feel like that when I think of a kid it’s a gronial response and I know it looks bad that I’m intentionally thinking of a kid like that sometimes I check to see if I get aroused I feel like garbage

@Idontknow - Thoughts aren't actions :) And the fact that you are so scared shows it's against your values. Ocd sufferers often bring up those thoughts on purpose as a "checking compulsion" to see whether they like the thoughts or not. I wouldn't place a lot of importance on this moment since it's one of your many POCD thoughts. Ocd gives us millions of thoughts /urges to worry about and unfortunately we can't "solve" them all. Nor should we try to, because that would be feeding the Ocd with compulsions and most of our Ocd intrusions can never truly be "solved" anyways :( If that was possible, our Ocd would've ended a long time ago but nope, it's a never-ending cycle! Ocd splits off into a million different directions How have you been doing otherwise besides this encounter? Have you been trying to resist compulsions? Or has it still been too hard to?- No judgement either way!

@OneDayAtATimee I’m sorry for coming to you with this but I’m so worried because I’m just like what person with Pocd does this and sometimes it feels like an urge to even think about it like I need to or something like that Sometimes I feel alone because I get these intrusive impulses or whatever it’s called like once in the morning I had an urge to show of my chest area to my cousin like to ft call her I don’t experience that anymore but that was so weird It’s like this is exactly what a p would do it just worries me because I don’t want to be a r or a p

@OneDayAtATimee So I think I am a p because I was checking to see if I would get turned on and I felt something like I enjoyed it I was checking for I think half an hour I don’t know if I’m attracted or not I feel guilty because I feel like I was fantasizing Please help

@Thehumanmisfit He stares at me or looks at me and it weirds me out