- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
What always settles me down is remembering that feelings will ebb and flow. Our feelings are constantly changing, just like how you'll wake up one day in a good mood, or wake up in just an okay mood. Feelings are unreliable measure for love and therefore becomes irrelevant in a relationship. Love is a choice :) if you and your man vibe and you enjoy his company and want to be with him. Then that is enough. Checking will only cause you more stress
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve gone through this before, unfortunately it’s an episode and it will pass even though it feels like it won’t. It’s normal for people who don’t have OCD to feel like they don’t like their partner sometimes, but when we have OCD we over analyze it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah literally had the exact same thing it ruined my relationship with my now ex as my ocd and other mental illness took control of me just trust me that if it is anything like I went through you have to find a way to talk about those thoughts and feelings on here or talking to a therapist as talking to him constantly about what you are confused about and not knowing because of the thoughts that are pushed into your head because of ocd will make it worse I found as my head made me need to say it when I shouldn’t as it created a cycle and fed it in a way I guess. But yes to your question ocd can make you constantly worry and second guess how you feel you just have to know that before you had this invasion of thoughts you loved him and he was special to you as otherwise you wouldn’t be with him so just reassure yourself with the fact that you just gotta work through this and then you will slowly get more of your real thoughts about him which are the opposite to what the ocd wants you to think however I know it is hard and I have only recently since being separated has my ocd connected with our relationship cleared slightly so I see some of what I truly feel eventhough my ocd still fights I think it sounds crazy Ik but I think I’m right lol
- Date posted
- 5y
yes i experience this too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I feel like my Rocd has become more sophisticated. It’s made me feel as if my healthy loving boyfriend is this terrible person. Or I’ll be thinking to myself like “I love him”, and in middle thought I get “no you don’t”. It’s convinced me that our values and beliefs are just TOO different (we’ve only disagreed on one thing in our relationship, but we talk it out). It’s like my ocd is clinging on to every reason why I should break up, like I don’t want this anymore, even tho I do! It’s frustrating. And the idea of doing erp terrifies me. Because I’m afraid if I do erp statements, that I’ll agree with them. Can someone give insight
- Date posted
- 17w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
- Date posted
- 12w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
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