suicidal/ mental health ocd

Hi guys i hope someone will help me with this one. I have fears around suicide/mental health/ depression. From the moment i wake up to a moment iam going to sleep i have these crazy thoughts in my head: what if i will be so sad that i will commit? what if my life has no meaning so i will commit? Also i have this mixed with existential/depressed thoughts like: life has no meaning, why iam doing this it has no meaning. So i cant enjoy litterally anything anymore. I have great day and my mind always trying ti convice me that iam suicidal and nothing is going to be the same. My mind has own patterns and i feel like i cant break it down and i know iam not like this. Also words like: mental health, suicide, mentall illness, sadness trigger me so much. Can someone help me? also i have googling compulsion, i spend 24/7 on this app, watching youtube content.

Eschmatter25

Date posted: 10w

Hey there You’re in good company, what you just described are some of the most common symptoms and sensations of a mind deep in OCD. I have dealt with the same content as well. If you’re not, you should try to get into ERP therapy. These therapists allow you to speak to life your worries and OCD content and face the fear head on. You’re not broken, you’re only inches away from feeling better.

it's just a ...

Date posted: 10w

Hey so sorry that you are dealing with all of this right now. Existential OCD was my first and most persistent theme over years and years (from long before I actually got an OCD diagnosis). I have 1000% been where you are and I can tell you that there is hope, that things can get better. Actually, not just better - life can become truly joyful and fulfilling. The number one thing that helped was ERP with a wonderful therapist I found through this app. Are you currently in therapy with an OCD specialist and doing ERP? Something else that really helped was the realization that ultimately it wasn't the existential questions that I was anxious about; it was the THOUGHTS about these questions that I was anxious about. I know this sounds like a very small distinction, but for me it was a very impactful thing to realize. One strategy I've found effective in separating myself from the thoughts and getting some perspective on them is something like this, below: My brain: "What if life is meaningless?" Me: "Hmm, I'm experiencing the THOUGHT that life might be meaningless." Also me: "And now I'm realizing that I'm experiencing the thought that life might be meaningless." The fact is that you are not the thoughts, and the thoughts are not reality. Reality is reality - the universe is what it is, regardless of our thoughts about it. Let me put it another way: life, existence, the universe, etc. have no power to make us anxious. It's only our thoughts about them that have the power to make us anxious. It's not about getting rid of the thoughts, it's about changing our RELATIONSHIP with them. Nowadays I might experience a thought that used to send me down a dark anxious spiral - into a "dark night of the soul" - and just laugh it off. Doesn't mean that every day is perfect or that my OCD doesn't sometimes catch me off guard - especially at stressful times in life - but overall life is SO much better. You will be able to get through this and get there as well.

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd tips

so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd advice?

Sarah12

Date posted: 6w

Existential ocd theme

Hi guys so this existential theme is like a final boss in all ocd themes for me. I just dont know what to do tbh. My main problem is that whatever iam doing my mind goes: whats the point? Iam watching tiktok about workout my mind goes: there is no point. Iam planning vacation: there is no point. Iam tired of this. I don’t know if its still ocd or what but what i know is that it complitelly ruining my life and i have zero peace. If someone can help me with these meaning of life and point of life thoughts i will be so gratefull because iam starting to feel hopeless.

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suicidal/ mental health ocd

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