How do I go about naming my daughter when OCD has taken over? It ruins every name and I feel responsible for everyone’s feelings about the name. How do I then choose a name to combat ocd and still give my daughter a name I like?
Heidi said exactly what I was thinking! Also if anyone truely did get upset with what you named YOUR daughter, they can go to therapy about it. Just focus on your little girl and what makes the two of you happy 😊
@Anonymous LOL true!
I can see how this would be super hard for you. I have had similar problems naming my cats. I eventually chose a name that my OCD had ruined as well. I am happy to say that I dont feel like the name is ruined anymore and that i love it. My advice would be to pick the name that you love best even if OCD has ruined it because, in my experience the OCD feelings attached to the name will fade with time. It's still normal to think about it from time to time but you might be able to combat thoughts about the name by challenging them. For example, you end up naming your daughter a name that OCD has ruined and you end up having a bad thought about it or becoming stressed. You can combat this by using a challenging thought like: "it is more important that i give my daughter a name that I love than to please my OCD" or "OCD does not have the power to choose a name for my daughter, only i have that power" It might also help to talk to other people about how they choose their kids names (while being aware of reassurance seeking) just to realise that others probably dont put as much thought into their kids names perhaps. It might also be useful to use some more challenging thoughts about naming as well like "the name that i give my daughter is not a very important part about them/her, what is more important is that I love my daughter and they/she is happy and safe" or "whatever name we decide on for my daughter we will get used to and it is more important that my daughter has a loving home and family" I don't intend to trigger potentially other OCD thoughts by those examples, they are just example of how you might challenge the naming OCD thoughts. Just examples, no stress :) Good luck!
Super helpful!! Thank you so much for the reply. I truly appreciate it. OCD has had me question what names I do actually like but I suppose if I had them on my list, I did like it. It has created so many stories that I will cause harm by choosing ____ name, etc. It’s all irrational. I think giving her a name I like enough that’s simple and easy while looking at all the other important things is where I need to go with it. I got caught in making sure it checked all the boxes ocd made and it became impossible. And yes, others definitely put a lot less thought into it.
Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.
Overwhelmed
I feel like the worst kind of person and I am ruining my husband. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to change.
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